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SS9 Is Back

CastleJJ's picture

So SS9 arrived today. He was his normal, happy self despite the recent allegations of abuse. DH and I sat him down to talk, but we did not address the allegations like BM wanted us to. It was more of a check-in and the conversation lasted less than 2 minutes. We just told SS that BM said he cried a lot after leaving last time and we told him that if he is sad or having a hard time, that it's okay, but we want him to feel comfortable coming to us and telling us so we can help him. SS understood and said he wasn't that upset. He did tell DH unprompted that he didn't like the NERF gun. DH told SS that we got rid of that one NERF gun. SS thanked us for doing that. We asked him if there was anything else that was bothering him and he said "No." We didn't push any further. There was no mention of me eavesdropping on phone calls, us hitting SS, his "No" or "Stop" being disrespected, him feeling upset or afraid, etc. 

DH took SS outside to play. I checked SS' bag. There was a perfume covered stuffed animal per usual, but no GPS tracker watch, thank God. Clearly, BM didn't like tracking the inside of our pantry for two weeks. DH told me that SS was thrilled to see him at pick up and BM looked mad based on SS' reaction to DH. We will be staying at my parents for the weekend so DH emailed BM to let her know, since the CO requires us to inform her if SS is spending the night anywhere other than our home. She sent back a thumbs up emoji, which is not normal for her, so clearly she is pissed. 

SS is smiling and clearly happy to be back with us. Let's hope this trend continues and we have a positive two weeks ahead.


Caroline2b1211's picture

Hi castelJJ,

As shepshell said, i would not trust him at all. He can backstab you if he wants. You need to be really clear with him about lies and manipulative talk 

And what about the NERF ? I don't get it. 

CastleJJ's picture

Our guard is still up. We are being cautious and cameras are present in the home. We are still trying to figure out if SS actually said anything to BM or if BM made all this up. It wouldn't be the first time she has made something up 100%. 

My brother bought SS a NERF gun for his birthday, but this one uses NERF balls instead of the little foam bullets. Well I guess SS didn't like it because it shoots with a little more force than your average NERF gun. Well BM claimed that SS said that DH was abusing him with it, so DH got rid of it. Claims of abuse = No more NERF gun. SS did tell DH yesterday that he didn't like that particular NERF gun, but it wasn't to the extreme that BM portrayed it as. 

fuckitall25's picture

Good luck with the next 2 weeks ahead! Fingers crossed that at least while SS9 is with you, he is pleasant and doesn't cause much stress. 

I will also add that it's okay to live your life and enjoy the little moments that SS is being a loving/decent part of your family. Yes, he more than likely betrayed you and DH and yes he'll probably do it again. Keep that knowledge, but also allow yourself as much peace as you can about it. You deserve to be less stressed for yourself and your future LO. 

Also, f$#k BM, her gf, and their insecurities. SS9 is at the age where he is about to start identfying more with his same-sex parent. It seems that SS9 may also not be LGBT+ and your may family be the best representation of what he views his own future family being like as he begins to enter puberty and these types of things are discussed more. This probably does drive BM and GF nuts. I'm sorry that a lot of their insecurities leak over into your own home life and cause issues. You'd think with so little visitation this woman couldn't be so busy causing problems.