Who Comes First...
This was brought up on another blog, but I wanted to address it and see what the general ST population thinks...
In a "nuclear family" situation, it goes without saying (pretty much) that your SPOUSE comes first... then the kids. There is a rare occassion that someone will say "no way kids first", but for the most part it is commonly answered "spouse first".
So why is it expected to change in a blended family situation? I understand that you don't want to put your kids in a bad situation. Of course you don't. But isn't that something that you take in to consideration BEFORE you marry them? Is this person good for MY kids? Does he/she treat them well.. etc etc. THEN you marry, and spouse comes first and kids come second. A united front.
I would say if AFTER you are married... your spouse then starts treating them poorly, then you would have to consider leaving the situation, but that is true for a nuclear family as well. BIO parents can be bad parents too. BIO parents verbally and physically abuse children. It's not just STEP parents that do that.
I have to say that when it comes to "putting your spouse first", you have to use common sense when it comes to putting your kids second to your spouse. OF COURSE you are going to get them out of a dangerous situation, just as you would in a nuclear situation.
That's just the way I see it. It may not be right... but it has worked for me.