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Step kids stink. Literally.

Bradymom's picture

My step kids come stinky. Not visibly dirty. Just stinky. Stinky hair. Bunsy smelling. My kids notice. And often say something.

My kid: "SS13 stinks! He smells like butt!"
Me: "I KNOW! Okay. So he stinks. Don't be rude."
SS13: "What?"
DH: "What's the deal?"
Me: "SS13 is smelly." (blink. blink.) "Um, perhaps the kids should shower when we get home?"
(birds chirping. crickets. frog croaks.)

This has been happening for 2 of the 4 years. It's not the age, SD7 smells too. It's not the house they come from, it's not that type of smell. I'm pretty sure bio mom just has got bored with the kids & doesn't mom them like she should. But DH doesn't make them bathe & I've told him. My kids have told him. They've told the kids too. Ugh. Awkward. I don't want them to feel bad. But... I pick my kids up & literally first thing my 14 knows he's to go to the shower, clean clothes, brush teeth, I have to trim his nails (he has autism, so I have to do more for him) My other kids don't have to shower, as they are sensitive to their hygiene needs, son14 is not. I started this shower thing because he would come stinky & step kids were saying things too. I don't want him to be embarrassed or get angry, so I just tell him "shower time" it's never been an issue. I'm pretty sure he can smell himself. But apparently step kids can't smell their own brew. I've asked DH how bout ya have your kids bathe when they get here, first thing, so my kids don't point out their stinkiness & they don't build resentment, blah blah. That conversation has happened 6-12 times in 2 years. Some times the smell like poop. No joke. He will even mention it, but not ask them to bathe. Wth. I do not feel like I can ask SS13 to shower. SD7 yes I would he fine telling her to bathe. Y'all have smelly step kids!?! Haha. No really, do they smell?


Bradymom's picture

This could be implemented for the weekend visit. But ugh. The midweek evening visit. I'm not over exaggerating. I've even thought perhaps DH should tell bio mom please have then bathe Wednesday before I pick them up. Ugh.

Bradymom's picture

Yeah. I don't think so. Ugh. My son14 is a "bad wiper" too, but like I said I enforce the shower. Even if he looks clean, or smells clean (I think that's only been one or two times) I have him shower bc I don't want him to feel like I'm judging his level of dirtiness. So it's every time.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

SS14 doesn't shower after wetting the bed purposely and laying in it all night. It doesn't bother him in the least to try to go to school reeking. Probably because all his clothes at BM's reek of cat urine. But still. It's so nasty.

It has been so bad that "SS"9 was sent to the nurses' office on several occasions to change into other clothes as the stench was disrupting the classroom and making the teacher sick. BM has been called to the school for this issue. Apparently it's not CPS-worthy. Go figure. And yeah, BM is OK with it. She reeks too and simply doesn't care.

Bradymom's picture

Ugh. Thankfully I don't get close enough to smell bio mom. She's skanky. What's with the filth?! Have you ever made an anonymous call to CPS?

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Yup. CPS wouldn't take the report. Apparently being stenchy on a daily basis doesn't rise to the level of neglect. :?

Bradymom's picture

Great. There's no hope. Ugh. It may just be their odor. But sometimes their "odor" is assier than their usual stink.

LuckyGirl's picture

I'm not very diplomatic on this issue... If the kids appear to be dirty I will tell them straight up "You need a shower. Go and get one. Now". And they do as they know from previous experience that arguing with me gets them exactly nowhere. Thankfully their dad backs me 100% so it's never been a problem.
As far as I am concerned it is my home, and SO and I are the adults - therefore WE get to decide how we all live as a family. And I refuse to live in filth!

LJZ's picture

We do the same thing and give the spawns a bath with clean clothes as soon as they get here. They always come smelling like laundry that has sat in the washer for a week before its dried (which it is).. We had to teach the kids not to wear shoes in the house because of the animal feces thats on the floor at their house. They dont want to take off their socks because they are not sure they will get another clean pair. The 7 year old came in his 3 year old brothers under wear last time because there was nothing else for him to wear. They only get bathed one or two times a week with their mom because their septic system needs to be repaired. Its always a joy having them come (NOT!!) I am already dreading it and its not until next weekend..