You are here

OT-wtf family! ? Can I disengage from all of you?

borrowedtime83's picture

So, my little brother is getting married, for the second time, in the last 3 years. He courted, proposed to and married one woman, she decided she wanted to be a lesbian, and apparently a bulimic drug addict who also accused him of abuse, they got a divorce. About 6 months later he is engaged to another woman who looks almost the same as wife #1, with shorter hair.
Lets go back to the first wedding. In addition to having all of my 4 younger brothers as groomsmen, my step sister was a bridesmaid, and my daughter was a flower girl. I, however, was left out of the wedding party completely. It was hurtful, and obvious, and I don't know why. His ex wife also alienated most of the family, so when things got bad, my brother came crawling back, wanting support and legal advice, which I freely gave and hoped our relationship might turn around. Shortly after, he gets engaged again. A few days later my step sister posts on her Facebook page about how honored and excited she was to be part of the wedding (bridesmaid again). This is the same sister who, when she got remarried, didn't even tell me. Just one day I got a friend request from a girl with my sisters first name and her now husbands last name, I accepted and then saw her wedding photos, which included my parents, his parents, her best friend and husband, my little brother, and the lesbian
. I also had to sit through my sister bitching about how she can't afford the bridesmaid dress BOTH times, and complaining about going to the salon to get hair and make up done.
So fast forward to to now, 2 days before the wedding shower. My sister is freaking out because the maid of honor dropped the ball planning the wedding shower, there is no food or anything. She asks me if it would be tacky to have it be potluck, and trying to now involve me in planning the shower. Uh nope. Go consult the board you created for it on Pinterest, since no one wants me involved in anything.


borrowedtime83's picture

The other sad fact is nobody shows up at my gatherings half the time, especially if it is church related. I never want to go to their crap, but I suck it up and go, and bring a GIFT! Because its polite!
Meanwhile I have been with the same guy for almost 6 years, engaged for 3 and I can't plan my wedding because I am afraid either no one will show up or they will come and freeload. I already know I won't get a shower or hen night. I been trying to talk SO inyo Vegas lol

another step's picture

Vegas sounds great but remember that it is not the only way to elope. I helped my friend plan her elopement and I was stunned at the choices available. Fully organized (you just show up with your dress) packages in the islands, in Florida, Bed and Breakfasts in the Smokey Mountains, in New York City - it was amazing. Just google elopement packages. You two can spoil the hell out of yourselves for far less than you would spend driving yourself nuts planning a wedding and feeding people who piss you off!

hereiam's picture

People, family or not, really suck sometimes, don't they?

I have to mostly disengage from both of my sisters, they are a mess in different ways (and a serious mess when together). Unfortunately, I cannot completely disengage from one of them because my DH and I are practically the only stable adults in my 11 year old niece's life. Luckily, the other sister lives out of town so that makes it easier.

Family is hard. People think bad behavior should just be accepted and constantly overlooked because they are family. Eff that. Everybody has their breaking point, even with family.

And I agree with another step, elope and do it somewhere amazing. You can always have a reception later if you and SO want to.