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SS21 Yelled at Me This Morning

BettyRay's picture

I was vacuuming this morning (6:30 a.m..) and SS21 barrels out of his room and asks me why I vacuum in the morning. I told him that since no one helps with the housework and I'm the only one who does it that I get to decide when I want to do it. I don't like doing it at night when I get home for work so I do it before work.

SS21 yells at me that his trying to sleep because he's got an exam today. Then SS21 then tells me that he won't be quiet at night so I can sleep.

No one threatens me in my home. I was shaking I was so angry. I told him he can find another place to live if he doesn't like the living conditions. I added that my life makes his life possible, you know, food, heat, electricity, a place to sleep, the basics.

SS21 stomped back into his bedroom.

Backstory - DH started a new job at the end of December.  He gets up at 5 a.m.. to leave for work. I've been getting up with him because the dogs go nuts if I stay in bed and DH gets up. I've found I can get a lot of housework done before I leave for work at 7 a.m.. Vacuuming, sweeping, laundry, dishes - all done before work.

I don't even want to go home tonight.  I'm physically drained from the run in this morning and I don't want to see SS21 tonight.

I'm so sick of this. SS21 doesn't help with anything. It snowed yesterday. When I got home from work last night SS21's car was parked on the road and DH was snowplowing. SS21 never even offered to help DH. Which is no surprise because SS21 did the same thing to us last week. 

DH said he'd talk to SS21 tonight but I'm sure it will not make a difference. DH has talked to SS21 many times before and hasn't gotten through to him.



beebeel's picture

His shit would be in the snow banks on the lawn and if dh had a problem with it, I would offer him the same moving package.

BettyRay's picture

SS21 threatened your wife in our house. Told DH if this isn't handled i move out Saturday.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Kick him out! He is a grown ass man. If your ahole husband objects, kick him out too!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Hi Betty Ray.

That skid needs to GO!

If he's man enough to shout at "the help" and threaten to keep you awake at night, he's man enough to find another place to live.

lieutenant_dad's picture

"SS21, what are you doing here? I told you to find some other place to go. So GO."

"DH, don't you dare argue with me on this one. He disrespected me, in MY home, that I pay for, and that I clean up without his help. He isn't welcome here anymore. If you feel the need to support him, I suggest you either go with him, too, or find a second job to cover his rent. I'm done."

Go home and dig your heels in. It's YOUR home. Do NOT let him make you feel less at home.

MurphysLaw's picture

^^^THIS 100%^^^

I’d bounce that little b!tch RIGHT OUT!

Aniki's picture

Lt Dad, you had to tell OP the perfect things to say so I'd girl crush on you... *kiss2*

CANYOUHELP's picture


Brat has got to go somewhere else--much quieter to help him get peace. He acts like he owns your place-has a not of nerve (but lacks brains). Maybe he needs to see who the home is actually titled to, at the same time you help him pack his bags, change the keys.....I would assist him in leaving MY premises immediately and DH can go right with him if he has any issue.

thinkthrice's picture

Guess... he's still in high school at age 21? 

 Ye olde "I will talk to him/her." (TM) 

tog redux's picture

Make sure you vacuum his room tomorrow at 5:05 am.

What a jerk. What's the plan for him to move out?

tog redux's picture


SteppedOut's picture

This would have been me had I not left my formerSO. His son (13!) yelled at me once to turn the vacuum off. Why? Because he was playing xbox and couldn't hear what someone was saying. My formerSO was "going to talk to him about it", but "was sure he didn't mean for it to be mean". Uh ok. I ended up packed and gone in less than a week. At that point formerSO hadn't had the "right" time to discuss with him yet.

I hope you don't continue to put up with this nonsense. It's terrible for your self worth. 

SMto2's picture

But this whole situation with the vacuuming at 6:30 a.m. just sounds passive aggressive to me.  Is he in college? Was he perhaps up late studying for a test and therefore, getting some rest before class? If so, I find it outrageous that you just "had" to vacuum at 6:30 a.m.  If you want him to leave, it seems you'd want him to do well in school so he could graduate, get a job and move out. If your DH were home in bed, would you still have vacuumed at 6:30 a.m.? I'm guessing not. And I don't view what he said as a "threat" in the same way if he had threatened you physically, since he just threatened to make noise to keep you awake when you were trying to sleep--the same thing you did to him.. At the same time, if he does make noise to try to keep you up at night, that's no better than you vacuuming and should also not be allowed.

MurphysLaw's picture

I was not a COD

My Mother (RIP) was an Irish Catholic (read: MEAN AS HELL) who in December would open up the windows (to air the place out) vacuum at 6AM, scrub floors with ammonia & cook cabbage at the same time.

If I DARED have the AUDACITY to tell her HOW or WHEN or WHAT to do in HER HOUSE my ass would be sleeping in the barn! Believe THAT!

Why is it “The Rules “ for SMs are:

If you have an issue with the skids, take it up with their father, let him handle it 


If skids have an issue with SM it’s A-Okay to say or do whatever the hell pleases them?!

Evil3's picture

LOL! I'm laughing with you. My Irish mother did all those things too. She was an Irish redhead. I didn't dare f with her!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Another daughter of a redheaded Irish mother here.

And NO WAY IN H@LL would she have let me live after speaking to her that way. She would have boxed my ears AND kicked me out of her house.

MurphysLaw's picture

Girl dontcha you know it!

She’d say:

I’ll put a beatin on you girl that’ll make the IRA shiver!


tog redux's picture

Do you think he should help around the house? Do you think if she said, SS, I will have to vacuum in the morning if you can't help me clean in evenings/weekends that he would do it?

Or do you just think all kids are precious babies and the parents/stepparents should focus on making life comfy for them so they can get their school work done?

Do you imagine this kid is PLEASANT to her, and that she cares about his feelings in any way, given how he's treating her?

You have a very kid-centric point of view, but this kid is a MAN.  He should be grateful they let him live there rent-free so he doesn't have huge loans to pay, not bitching at his SM about his sleep.

lieutenant_dad's picture

I lived in a dorm with people coming and going at all times of the morning and night. That also included cleaning crews sweeping and cleaning main areas at all times of day. I also had a roommate that came and went as she needed to. I got 5-7 hours of sleep most nights because I had classes in the day and work/studying at night. Still graduated on time at Cum Laude. It's possible to function through noise when you're young and dependent on others.

My sympathy runs really shallow. If he doesn't want to be woken up by others and wants to live solely on his own time, then he can do that on his own dime. Otherwise, the people paying to live there, who own the home, get to decide when things get done. He has other places he COULD live if it's SO BAD living for free with Daddy and SM.

I NEVER would have yelled at my mom for waking me up. Or my SF. Or my Dad. It was their house. They paid for it. Even when I boomeranged back after my divorce and was paying rent, I followed their rules because they were doing ME a favor.

tog redux's picture

Seriously, life in a dorm was miserable. Getting up at 8 am and stepping in stale, spilled beer. Vomit in the bathrooms. People coming home drunk at all hours screaming and yelling, lol.

He's got it cushy with vacuum at 6:30.

lieutenant_dad's picture


His own room with his own "maid" (poor OP), free food, no need for a job because he has no bills or living expenses, quiet nights...

lieutenant_dad's picture


His own room with his own "maid" (poor OP), free food, no need for a job because he has no bills or living expenses, quiet nights...

CLove's picture

And her schedule was such that she cleaned at that time because it was the only way she could G"it er done" as SS doesnt help at all, so it falls on her shoulders. Thats why I dont really think it should be charactrized as passive agressive. I also dont think the lazy SS will have the chutzpah to actually do what he was threatening. I think its time for an "awakening" of a special kind. SS doesnt realize what he has and how the world works and the actual value is. No child really doea, until they have to work, to make the money, to pay the bills. And stress because they are short that month, and they have no extra money for food, so they have to borrow from someone.

Its reality for parents as well as us steps.

Just the other day, RIGHT after I had finished helping pay our electric and gas bill, utilities etc...($$$$!!!), MunchkinSD 12 left the sliding glass door open while the heater was on.

I made some noise! She doesnt see the $$$$'s flying out the door in just a few seconds, like I do, because as a child she is not responsible for the payments.

Ive got half a mind to not put the heater on while she is with us, and harp on how expensive it is. Kids just dont have a brain that functions that way. Not until 21 or so...OH said child is 22? And still mooching? No job? Doesnt help at all around the house? Lets DAD and MOM do everything?

Yeah. Kid needs a "learning".

shamds's picture

With cchores because he lacks empathy. 

He needs his arse dragged out of bed by hubby and told he has 10 mins to vacuum the whole house or 20mins to clear the snow etc. If he refuses tell him he has 10seconds to leave your home in the clothes he’s currently in and start counting. Who cares if its freezing. Where i’m from he is not needed to be given weeks to beevicted legally, he is not a tenant or a boarder because that implies he pays money to live there which skids usually don’t. 

When countdown finishes and he stands there, tell him you are calling the police and explain he is trespassing on your property. 

Put the fear in his arse till he shits himself... i like you will not tolerate that crap.. i’ve thrown away ss mouldy toaster that he hadn’t used in a year. He sulked and moped but never opened his mouth to tell me off etc and i had no guilt saying to hubby it had mould and was sitting in the kitchen cupboard with other plates etc and since he won’t clean, i threw it away

tankh21's picture

OP, I would tell that little self righteous skid to get the f*** out of my house. He's an adult and obviously he is free loading. YSS used to sleep in the living room all the time before I told DH that I have had enough with dealing with this kid in a community room all the time. One day I was getting ready for work and when I got home SS said could I be a quiet when I leave for work in the morning because I wake him up because I make too much noise. I just looked at me. I told DH what he said when I got home and that I was absolutely not dealing with this crap any longer from his kid and that he needed to fix it.

hereiam's picture

Your DH will talk to him? How about TELL him that he is going to plow snow, vacuum, do the dishes, whatever. He shouldn't HAVE to be told, he should be helping out on his own, but obviously, he needs a push. Screw talking to him.

Your SS21 has a lot of nerve and is quite the ungrateful ass.

somethingwicked's picture

Get the little mofo a set of ballistic grade ear plugs. 

Tell DH if ahole refuses to wear them and continues to complain and rant at you about your schedule of  single handedly maintaining the home environment to prevent The Attack of the Giant Toxic Dust Bunnies and the general filth and clutter that comes with human beings living in a confined area then a-hole skid can leave.

Like yesterday.Right? No waiting until the May launch date.

Feral consequences require decisive and appropriate immediate action.Get his entitled and abusive filth producing  ass out of your home.

Seriously this disrespectful drop of genetic material should not verbally molest nor dictate to YOU the home owner and his better a damn thing about a damn thing. Right?

I am so angry for you.And DADDEE DH better grow a pair and a spine to get his spawn trained  to behave like a human being.

This May deadline is bullsh!t ,null and void , in the wake of this abuse and DH needs to TELL junior that.


Siemprematahari's picture

I wish one of my kids or stepkids would "yell" at me in my own home or period. There would be h@ll to pay and lets just say he would not have another good day of sleep until he gets his own place.

I wish a !@$##^#&*#% would.....



Ispofacto's picture

6:30 is not early.  Let me guess, the little shit was up late playing video games?  Too bad.


Cover1W's picture

....and this is why I will not tolerate SD15 trying to dictate how our home should be....