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GAHHHHHH

AtoZMom's picture

so frustrated....today we sent SD5 off to kindergarten and we packed her lunch (she had input and asked for a particular sandwich). I thought all was good but then i got a text from her BM saying she didn't eat her snack or lunch we packed...this is an ongoing problem we are having with SD5, she freaks out when we try to give her something "new" (most things are stuff we know she likes) and when she finally agrees she takes forever to eat....she gets distracted to much...if its not something on TV its her being a chatter box...she would find a distraction in an empty room :/
Her BM is going to talk to her teacher and get her to sit with her to make sure she is eating....the way her school works is at lunch after the kids are don't eating they can go outside/gym to play ... both me and DH thinks she should have to sit with her teacher to eat her lunch and miss out on playing with her friends and this will help her to learn to eat so she can play with her friends....i'm hoping her BM is going to press this when she talks to her teacher...

at our house we have been pushing her to eat better... giving her a meal and no other option and if she don't eat it she doesn't get treats.... i don't think her mom is pushing this as much even though the nurse who done her kindergarten booster/check up made it clear that her eating habits need to change.... I told her BM but its like I could see that it went in one ear and out there other.... she had a stupid blank look on her face when i was telling her.... DH requested a meeting with the dietitian again (apparently she had a couple meeting with one, with BM and DH was never informed...he was fuming)

anyways that's my rant for today!

Comments

GoingWicked's picture

She's still little, give it time, all 3 of our kids were not great at eating full meals until they were about 7ish, they'd go through spurts where they would hardly eat, and spurts where you just couldn't keep them filled up. Unfortunately all day schooling (which I find ridiculous at this age), doesn't allow her to come back to her lunch an hour later when she's hungry enough to eat it. Maybe have her finish her sandwich when she gets home, instead of an afterschool snack... I don't think taking away play time is that great of an idea, kids get so little play time at school, and play is so very important for their development. Nor do I think it's going to go well taking up the teachers time for one kid (of I imagine many) that isn't eating. Though, I do agree if she's too full to eat real food, she's too full for snacks or desserts.

AtoZMom's picture

She actual goes to a small school (30 students in the whole school) and the principal told us students sit with her when they don't finish their lunch, so i'm assuming instead of saying shes not done she is saying she is full which is what she does when she doesn't want to eat something :/

Monchichi's picture

Sal, not all children will and this could be a sign of something else going on. The child is a fussy eater according to OP.

Monchichi's picture

Chucky has gone 24 hours without eating until Jabba caved and gave him what he wanted. His ODD makes him more stubborn than his primal instinct to eat.

Monchichi's picture

I agree with most children. When it's a power struggle and food is your weapon, not so much. Either way, I actually don't mind what Chuckeroo eats any more Smile I fed him noodles }:) And I am going to feed them to him again this Sunday and every single Sunday he visits us.

Cover1W's picture

No, SD11 is not a picky eater.
I thought that at first, but as time went on I realized it went way further than that. I don't want to name it here b/c it may come up on internet searches and I want to stay anony but suffice it to say it's an anxiety disorder that's also associated with a "touch" issue (only will tolerate certain materials against skin). With this type of disorder they WILL starve rather than eat at times.

I've disengaged from it since neither DP nor BM will do anything about it, and that's the ticket I found. Give her no attention and make sure there's things in the house, no matter how limited her selection, that she can make herself.
I don't do anything special for her but to make sure there's one thing on the table she will eat.

SD9 was a normal picky eater who rapidly started growing out of it last year. So I've seen picky to normal and then one with a disorder - it's quite a large difference.

moeilijk's picture

TV off during mealtimes. Meals at roughly the same time of day every day. Pick something you're willing to let her fill up on that she likes (for us it's yogurt) and allow that after dinner, like a dessert, even if she ate nothing.

No point waging a war as she's in charge of what and when she eats. So make the easiest choice for her what you want her to do, and make doing something else still good enough and no big deal.

DaizyDuke's picture

THIS!^^^ BS5 is picky, picky picky to the 10000th degree. I roll with it. I'm not going to pack a bunch of "healthy" stuff in his lunch box that I KNOW he will not eat, so I look like the "good mommy" I'm going to pack what he'll eat, so I usually put a bunch of little stuff (crackers, goldfish, chips, granola, fruit roll ups etc, and he can eat what he feels like). I'd rather have him eat a granola bar, some doritos and a chocolate milk for lunch and at least have eaten SOMETHING than to pack him the perfect Stepford Sandwich lunch and have him eat nothing.

Why did BM even feel the need to tell you that SD didn't eat her lunch? Who cares? And leave the teacher out of it. It is not the teacher's responsibility to hover over SD and force her to eat.

AtoZMom's picture

there are snack I could pack but the school is very strict on healthy snacks... which is great but she refuses to eat anything good... she freaked the night before when we put a fruit cup in her lunch for a snack :/

Monchichi's picture

roflmao, sorry Echo but every now and again you catch me completely off guard. Poor teacher indeed.

AtoZMom's picture

Its actually the principal told us this when we went to the school for a tour...she said for slow eaters she will have them sit with her so they can finish/eat their meals. She didn't have breakfast (she wasn't hungry she said) she never ate her snack that was packed and she didn't eat lunch so yeah its a problem and an ongoing issue.

moeilijk's picture

I don't know, soccermom. My DD1.5 eats AT LEAST a sandwich for lunch. Usually two pieces of bread with something on them, sometimes three, plus a big slice of cheese, plus half of an apple. Plus a half-glass of water and a glass of milk.

Maybe this will slow down by the time she's 5? Or maybe you're talking half of some kind of Dagwood?

twoviewpoints's picture

You could pack this kid a bag full of her absolute favorite foods and have the same outcome. She sounds like a grazers and talkers. She focuses on one thing at a time. Lunch is social and kid is being social... what she needs to learn to do is interact while still eating.

In school she is only going to get x amount of time in lunchroom. If she's busy listening to others rattling plus her own chatter , she's going to run out of time regardless of the actual food. If being 'done' means she can get up and run out to playground and play with the ones already finished (having actually eaten their lunch), she will announce she's 'done' too.

No teacher is going to sit with this kid. Here teachers aren't even in the lunchroom. Nor is the 2-3 people the school hires to supervise ALL THE CHILDREN in lunchroom going to sit for the 20/30mins coaxing your one kid to eat.

StepLady's picture

Send a simple lunch she can choose to eat it or not, oh well! She is not going to starve. Stop sending white bread and just send the cheese and lunch meat and see if that is better for her. Send fruits and vegs and dip if that will satisfy her. When it comes to new foods at my house the little kids have to take "try me bites" equal to their age ( eight for eight year old etc) they usually end up liking the food.

ohiodad's picture

Our kids that we still pack lunches for are 11, 9, 8, and a snack for the 4 year old. We don't pack sandwiches at all. Pieces of fruit and vegetables, some chips, cheese, and now and then some turkey or ham when we have it. The kids love it, they pick and choose what they want, then bring the rest home and eat it as a snack after school. Invest in good reusable bags that freeze overnight. They will keep the food cold ALL day.

BethAnne's picture

I am guessing that she is not eating enough from your post. I'm sure the dietitian will be able to give you some good advice. But what I would do is try to increase her calorie intake at breakfast and then only include higher calorie, more filling foods at lunch. Don't necessarily worry about nutritional content. Then in the evenings it is up to you how you want to tackle it. It depends on your aims. If you aim to get her to eat more then a few different snack times (after school, before bed) plus making her sit through dinner with the family will help her to eat enough. If you are more focused on increasing the amount she eats in one sitting, then focusing on the family dinner and eliminating other snacks so that she is more hungry could help. If you are focusing on trying to increase her palette then the evenings are the time to do that by encouraging her to have at least one bite of everything and keep giving her foods even if she says she doesn't like it the first time.

Disneyfan's picture

"...both me and DH thinks she should have to sit with her teacher to eat her lunch and miss out on playing with her friends and this will help her to learn to eat so she can play with her friends....i'm hoping her BM is going to press this when she talks to her teacher..."

I would never agree to this. Play time/gym should not be withheld because a child won't eat. I don't do food wars. I'm all for allowing kids to decide when they are full or isn't hungry.

As a teacher I have enough on my plate, there's no way I'm adding food Nazi to the list.LOL

Stepped in what momma's picture

Can you pack a timer and tell her to set it so she is aware of the amount of time she does have to eat?