Incorporating kid into wedding!
Hey I am looking for ideas not put downs about how I should not do it and blah blah blah. Anyway when SO and I get married we both want to incorporate SS9. Not for the whole thing but a part of it as he means a lot to both of us. He is really excited for us all to have the same last name. I want to give him a chance to be involved with the ceremony. Just nor sure what to do exactly, so I am looking for ideas. Let's face it SO and him both accepted me into their little family.
Again please just ideas of what maybe you have done or seen.
Thanks
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Maybe as a ring bearer? Or DH
Maybe as a ring bearer? Or DH's best little man? Something that puts him in the wedding party
Just one thing. Remember the marriage is between your DH and you! So don't worry about making vows to him. I know you love him, but a marriage is between two people, not two people and a child!
Other than that, congrats on the upcoming wedding! And good for you wanting to involve him in some way!
This is a very important
This is a very important point. The marriage is between you and your spouse. Don't give the child equal footing in that relationship. I think a job like honorary best man would be nice.
Thank You,
Thank You,
I agree the vows are with me and SO.
This!
This!
sd was in our wedding party. The person who did our vows suggested we include her in them. I side eyed her and said no thanks. I was marrying my now husband, not his child. I didn’t say vows to anyone but him that day and her being in the wedding was sufficient. Believe me, he will be happy and have lots of fun being in the wedding! He will be so excited because you’re being really sweet in wanting to include him, not just feeling like you have to.
We offered SD a spot in our
We offered SD a spot in our reception. Along with a father-daughter dance for me and my dad, we suggested a father-daugther dance for SD and DH. It was to be something fun and allowed a spotlight for DH and SD to show that she was a special part of the day.
I'm not sure if you are having a reception with dancing, but maybe that could be fun?
When I married my ex my
When I married my ex my stepsons stood up with us. It was just the 4 of us. To this day I still love them and have a great relationship.
My son and my dad gave me away when I married dh. That was trickier as my son got very anxious about giving away his mom and being in front of everyone . Almost 2 years later I think he would be okay as he has less anxiety about crowds .
Would I change It? I would do it a bit different but still have him involved but maybe as the ring bearer. He loved my husband but giving away your mom is tough.
I do love to tease my husband that it was his payback for getting shitfaced at his mom's 4th wedding.aa
Thank You. My stepdad is
Thank You. My stepdad is giving me away. That was a little tricky for me. My Bio-dad passed a few month ago but I had not talked to him in years. It left my older brother with kind of a sense to step up and be there for me at my wedding which I get. I was always planning on my stepdad as I love him and we are really close.
My brother mentioned it to them about giving me away the last time they visited. My stepdad was a little bummed thinking I was going to let my brother. Since we are getting married at our venue I decided to ask my brother to get ordained and be the person who marries us. He loved the idea and is really excited.
Kid Centric
Honestly letting him be a ring bearer, or mini best man is cute. The whole thing with vows to the kids becomes a little much. It becomes kid centric when the marriage is about you and your FDH. As another poster said SS is not on equal footing in this marriage. Once they are, as I am sure you have read on here, it becomes a lving nightmare.
SS is not where near on equal
SS is not where near on equal footing in our house. SO and I are constantly letting him know we are the adults we make the rules. I think SO and I have set a good base for the upcoming future with this. SO says you heard ASH do what she says.
I like the idea of the ring bearer too. I have a niece and nephew I want to include too. I am just trying to figure it all out.
There's also the flower girl
There's also the flower girl option for your neice! Kids LOVE being able to walk around throwing petals. LOL
That is so very true. I was a
That is so very true. I was a flower girl too many times when I was little. I was the only little girl around so I got asked a lot. LOL I think it soured me a little on weddings.
A few ideas
DH and I married 2 years ago and I have 4 skids. When we married they were younger, SD16, SD12, SS6, and SS5. The girls were my bridesmaids (along with my sister as MOH) and the boys were groomsmen with my brother. The oldest boy carried the rings. We also did a "rose ceremony" thing. We had a vase engraved with our last name and wedding date. Me, DH, and each of the skids each placed a rose in the vase and the reverend had a little speach about individual roses becoming a bouqet just as individual people become a family. I'm very close with skids so this worked for us, it all depends on your relationship. SS is old enough to be involved in the wedding if you'd like him, so maybe making him a groomsman could be cool for him. SSthen6 also took the mic at our reception and made an impromptu speech that made my heart burst. If SS is talkative maybe he could say something at the reception. Just a few ideas
All great ideas. He loves
All great ideas. He loves being center of attention and having everyone look at him. I do not mind that at the reception but not during the ceremony. I love the idea of taking something and making it all one. You just gave me a great idea. with puzzle pieces. I love puzzles so it is fitting. We will see.
Congrats
My soon to be ss is 10 and he's going to be our ring bearer.
SD14 (then 12) was a flower
SD14 (then 12) was a flower girl along with my niece. She was totally in it for the ceremony of it all. We made sure she got to do some fun stuff, but when it came to asking her to actually DO something helpful after the ceremony and during the picture situation, she became distinctly NOT helpful. My niece was the exact opposite and DH even ended up doing something which I promptly told him to knock off because we needed to get pictures done! It got so aggravating that my sister and DH's sister had to pull SDthen12 away from the dinner and gave her a stern talking to.
SD12 (then 10) was great. She didn't want a role IN the wedding (shy) but she wanted to make sure she sat in the front row and she was perfectly behaved at dinner and even talked with other people.
So it depends on personality and what you think they will be able to handle. I don't regret anything and SD14's actions that day reflected on her, not us.
My kids and SD had words of
My kids and SD had words of acknowledgement to make during our ceremony. It was on the checkbox menu our minister gave us to select from.
Most people take their pledges seriously. It was my hope that SD would take her pledge to heart.
Something like that could work for you.