Could be favoritism or could just be the nature of older kids are more expensive. Not a lot you can get a 2 year old that is more than $50, but not a lot you can buy a 14 year old that is under $50. Plus, the chain may not have actually cost her that much, depending on where she got it at. I have bought "$300" jewelry from JC Penney for $90. If the first chain was only $20 then I doubt she really spent nearly $200 on the second.

Could be favoritism....could be as LtDad said...just the age. Toddlers are much easaier to buy for and it's less expensive than the older kids.

On another note, I NEVER did "fair" in gift giving (with my bio kids), especially as they got older. Might be the year one kid needs a laptop for school and the other child doesn't. My bio kids NEVER were never given "equal" treatment on gift giving. Age and needs were the priority, and in the long run, it all balanced out. And they were fine with that.

Tried explaining that to DH's crew but they were insistent, if one got $200 spent on them, they all got it. I called that BS out and refused to follow it. They continued with their complaining until we finally shut down gift giving to them (all adults). Now they get nothing (as their dad has for years...gotten zero). 

This would not be a hill to die on in my world.

I bought a piece of jewelry for my niece one year and paid less than $50. When she unwrapped it, I had missed a sales tag inside the jewelry box it came in. It was tagged at over $200. I never would have paid that much.

You'll drive yourself crazy comparing gift costs. With sales and coupons, you can never be sure what someone paid for a gift.

I will say that SIL is clueless. I don't know a two year old who is thrilled to open a card and find birthday money (or would even know what to do with it). She could have at least attached it to a coloring book and crayons.

I think my problem would have less to do with the value and more to do with the thoughtfulness. SIL bought 14yr old an actual gift that she put thought into. She threw $$ at a toddler. 

There are so many cute toys for toddlers and could have spent the same amount but put some thought into it. Actaully given him something to open. 

This aunt was very involved in helping raise the 14 year old when he was younger, I think it only natural that she is going to have a closer relationship with him than his brother - which might translate to spending more on him for presents. That being said, I also think it is normal to spend more on a teenager than a toddler.

So your SIL is still working her "special relationship" with your eldest, eh? Ugh.

Considering the back story, you and your H are correct to keep very firm boundaries in place with your in-laws concerning your son. This feels like more boundary stomping, more of SIL doting on her pseudo son. I mean, who gives a fourteen year old boy jewelry? She's always been the turd in your punch bowl, and it sounds as if your boundaries with her have gradually weakened.

I think this is just more fallout from the unfortunate arrangement your H had with his family before he met you. He outsourced too much of his parenting to them, roles and boundaries got blurred, and it's something the two of you will have to handle until your son is an adult. Your SIL may feel like she's gained ground with your son and will continue to do stuff like this until your DH firms up those boundaries. Don't accept any more offers to help (aka bribes for access) from her, and take this as a reminder that those old attachments are still there. Shields up!

I find my in laws go over the top with presents for skids. My parents only buy one nice gift for each of them, MIL buys multiple presents and it's ridiculous. 
One thing I did notice it was SS birthday and she bought SD a small gift too. Nothing for DD1. I didn't care as she was only 1 and I don't want my DD to feel she needs a present too. SD and SS are very entitled. SD would have sulked if she didn't get anything either and I believe that isn't a nice trait to have. She should understand it's not her birthday. They have 3 sets of grandparents they get gifts from (4 including my parents who buy them a $20 gift card each every year). They are very lucky but not very appreciative about it. 

What does a 2yo need or want that costs $220?   This is Skids turn to be 14.  Your 2yo and your new baby will get their turn.

Conversely, this is your 2yo's turn to be 2.  SKid-14 shouldn't be allowed interfere in your 2yo being 2.

I got this lecture from my dad when I was a pre-teen and my younger brother (6yrs younger) his age.  I took exception to some perceived inequity. Dad gave me the message.   Even with our 6yr age difference and different interests, etc... our parents had a period where they gave us both identical Christmas gifts, etc.... If the gifts were not the same, they kept a spreadsheet of what they spent to keep it as close to equal as possible.    

Until.... my younger brother expressed how irritating that was.  I had no opinion either way but I could see how it bothered my brother.  So, mom and dad adjusted, started gifting what they wanted each of us to have, and quit worrying about the balance sheet of gift spending and providing identical gifts. The identical part they did nto start until my brother had moved into his teens. So giving us both an stereo, etc... was not as weird as it could be.  They were not tiving a 7yo a Fisher-Price wooden hammer because they got one for a baby/todler.

Kids are different, family dynamica and finances change over time.  An older kid may not have had the same level of cushie life at the younger ages as a subsequent child may have because mom and dad likely earn more over time, an older kid may have received a car as an older teen than a younger kid might.  

The car thing happened with me.  My parents gifted me a car when I was 19 as a HS graduation gift. (Yes, I graduated HS at 19.  I had two sophomore years. But that is another story.)  My brother got his first car when he was 16 as a sophomore.  That was irritating to me and I said something. So, my dad asked me if I wanted to schlep my bother and his buddies around all the time, take my brother to school every morning, etc.  I was 22 when he got his car at 16.  I gained clarity in a hurry and was instantly thrilled that baby bro got a car.  Perspective and clarity are good things most of the time. At least for me.

Situations had changed. I was in boarding school for HS and could not have a car.  My brother was at our local HS in a completely different country 6yrs later.   Apples to apples comparisions don't work when divided by time or age.  Maybe in for this a grape and a raisin are  a better comparison.  Though a raisin used to be a grape, one it is a raisin it cannot be considred equally against a grap. They are no longer the same thing due to time.

I would advise that you keep that in mind when making comparisions between gifts received by children with a 12yr age gap.  SIL may very well do similar things for your 2yo and the baby when they reach 14.

Deep breaths mom.

Take care of you.