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Annanymous's picture

So, after "LitterBoxGate2012", my SD12 (whom I am raising and parenting yes) and DH have been on top of the litterboxes and I have not had to ask or repeatedly remind. I have given a reminder about two days in the past two weeks! Today, I noted that it is "changing and washing the box day" not just scooping, and they were on it, SD12 had the boxes outside and washing them and DH had the bags and litter ready to fill them.

DH sat down with me and looked at the baby stuff - the baby wash, lotion, A&D cream, the paci, the socks, and the few little onsies, diaper bag, and book and said "Awwwww" at every item.

DH sat with me to make out our "home improvement/cleaning plan of attack", helped me make the list, then he worked out what weekends he is off to do the big things then went through the list and marked the big things and made his plans. He even did the one big thing of hauling all the junk out of the spare room (babys room) and garage all today then put on the calendar for Sunday to finish flooring in the first room.

I am so happy. They both realize it wasn't just the chore of litterboxes that I was so upset, but the toxoplasmosis safety, and they are really helping out the past two weeks. Like I promised, I have done everything else and only ask a little help from SD12 or DH about once a week here or there for one extra thing, but DH pitched in when I worked late and washed dinner dishes. Smile

SD12 is over her weird two-month period of issues and is now on board with a baby, and in turn, I am making sure that attention is on her a good part of the time too, like we went shopping together (momma/daughter day) and we looked at baby stuff for 10 minutes then went and bought her about $150 worth of clothes, but let her try every single item on and she was so happy more about the time spent looking and trying on than the number of items she got.

We had a rough two days with LitterboxGate2012, but I am so glad that is a rarity and not a typical situation for us. Yes, I was overly emotional and angry and probably got more angry than I should have, but they also admitted they should have taken care of it under the circumstances, so all sides came together. Oddly enough, at the next OB/GYN appointment, the OB looked at DH and said "She is not dealing with litterboxes RIGHT? They are cleaned daily, right?" - I swear I said nothing to prompt that. DH said YEP that he knew he should be doing it or supervising it, but that he didn't really realize it was that important and slacked and left them dirty a bit, but that he and SD12 are now checking the bags and under the bag every time they scoop to make sure there isn't anything that may have fell in a whole in the bag (cat scratches the bag and rips holes in it, letting stuff fall through the bag into the box).

They agreed being responsible for keeping the litterboxes clean (fully clean) is not much to be asked.

I have had a lot of work lately, working after dinner even some. I am glad for the extra work for the money (production-based pay), but my feet are all swelled up. I am so glad to be back to feeling okay and not in the emotional slump of last week.

time to look at nursery furniture online with DH and carpet to re-do the upstairs. Smile

No drama, no problems for about two weeks, which is actually the norm. It is rare for something like the Litterbox problem to happen between us. I mean, SD12 has done what all 12 year olds do and has half-assed a chore or said she did it and not like dusting her TV, but that is not a big deal, I just ask her to do it again and she does, that isn't anything we have any problems with luckily. She got caught a few months ago sneaking to stay up texting in bed after bedtime on school nights, got grounded a weekend, then did it again the next night and yeah we were mad and we set her phone restriction to 8:30pm every night for the rest of the semester (giving us the phone at 8:30), but again, that is something every tween does (all the girls she is texting), and something I know I would have done if there were such thing as texting back then!

So, I am relieved that those two months are over and SD isn't having the problems with the jealousy anymore that was leading to attitude, and me being off my medication (anxiety/depression) AND pregnant, I had a really hard time responding without getting mad, but I tried (failed some, but I did try), and we are through it! Not only pregnant/hormonal, off medications, and tween having jealousy issues leading to attitude and doing things to annoy me for attention, but also was going through bankruptcy, toxoplasmosis scare, and through the end of 1st trimester, which is where we lost the previous two pregnancies, and dealing with anxiety over if my mother would try to recontact me and try to be involved - so I flipped out, not saying it was right, but its better now. Side note: My mother is being super nice and while I am going to be cautious, she is buying the nursery furniture and I am letting her fly in for the birth (not to be in delivery room, but visitation). DH swore to keep her in check or put her out if she gets even a little bit snarky because I will not be in a state to deal with anything negative. Preparing for as DR says "expectation of severe postpartum depression lapse following being off meds and starting back day of delivery to help with potential expected downswing"

Two not-so-great months out of 10 years with relatively limited arguing or problems is something I can definitely live with!