He was amazingly attentive before the game was released at the beginning of September, so I am not going to trash talk him after nine wonderful years for the past two to three weeks obsession. I can't trashtalk him for the previous game online because I played it with him nonstop when he played it and often I played it when he was at work too, so that would be hypocritical of me to whine that he played the previous game too much.

We both quit the previous game stating we were getting sucked into it too much and agreed to quit. However, our gaming friends online moved to this new released game and he really wanted to try it since it is free-to-play (no monthly charge). We agreed to get it to play CASUALLY. Thus the problem arose; he started playing more and more and more until that last weekend he played 9am to 3am = now yes, he stopped and did a load of laundry, he washed the dishes, he took the dog out and fed the dog, he made me lunch, got be drinks, and he made dinner and did dinner dishes. So even though he played 9am to 3am, he did still take care of business (I was in bed with a kidney stone). He did stop and bring me water or pills and kept up the laundry and such, so as upset as I was that he was on it all day, I cannot just exaggerate and say he did nothing else or claim he is "inattentive", because even the worst weekend of his gaming, he DID still make dinner and do dishes and laundry and bring me stuff. He did still sit in the bathroom while I laid in the tub, hanging over the edge of the tub, patting my head for 20 minutes. -- of course that stuff didn't make it into the OP because I was mad and irritated and feeling insecure and just summed it up with "is attentive" (and I was in a hurry).

The good news is, of course, that he really was still attentive during that time. I just still felt/feel like it is becoming a top priority to him over other things because he "took a break from the game to do life stuff".

His argument is logical too, however, of "what else do you want me to do then? Its a stress reliever, I am good at it, it makes me happy, and there is nothing on the TV and we can't go do anything, so what else should I do other than sit on the chair staring at the wall or watching crappy TV?" - What can I say to that?

I don't expect him not to play, I just want him to be mindful of how much he is on that game and not to be on it every second he can get to it.

So we had a GREAT talk last night. He said he is going to put the game down for a few days and then he will go back to playing but will be mindful not to play EVERY NIGHT and not to play for multiple hours at a time. I was so happy.

We also talked about the possible porns and disinterest. Now, in the past, I went through some stuff with illness that I was just listless and uninterested. So I asked if it was "paybacks" or if he was just already satisified and found me unattractive.

DH said he was fine until the first ultrasound where the baby had a face. (This is true, we were active before that) He said he just gets sick and can't not see his baby's face right there where his penis is going and it freaks him out. Well, my thought (which was half of my being upset) was that he had SD so he obviously had sex with a pregnant woman before. He said that he never had sex with her after she conceived because she was sleeping with another man and he moved to the couch and lived like that for a year. He said it has nothing to do with my weight or appearance and that since seeing the baby's face, his sex drive has plummeted. He admits to the porn about three weeks ago and said before that maybe two or three times since we got pregnant. I feel like he was being honest and that makes me feel better too. I don't have a problem with porn use so long as its not addictive level and is not replacing me.

He said he just has not been in the mood at all, not even for looky-stuff since seeing the baby's face and it waving its hand at us. It creeps him out. He said he never went to anything with SD and never saw her ultrasound and was never with BM again so there was nothing for me to be upset about there, as far as thinking he did with her and not with me.

I am happy with our talk last night. I wanted to be fair and not say he was * inattentive or neglectful* since he really wasn't, I was just really worried (rightfully so) about how much he was playing this game. I don't mind him looking at porn stuff randomly so long as it is not all the time, which he swears it isn't and hasn't even thought about it in a while, and he has been honest about things with me, so I have no reason to doubt him.

If I had not blogged it first, I may not have handled the discussion as well, though I did cry I cry about everything right now.

We will see how this goes. I am not going to trash him for what has been going on since September 2012, 16 days. I DO get it , he is really under a lot of stress with bankruptcy during our pregnancy, then his job tried to fire him for not turning in "the right" paperwork to prove he was off for COURT - and the court said that was the only paperwork they had and they didn't do the letterhead stuff, and it took a week back and forth between job, union, and court to force job to accept the courts paperwork proof of court appearance, and we had to start thinking about converting our Ch13 to a Ch7 and possibly moving to an apartment and finding a place that accepts 80 lb dogs with behavior issues, and losing our insurance on the pregnancy, and we have to save up for carpet for the baby's room and SD was doing something really stupid on the facebook that we had to worry about - So I REALLY DO get why he was escaping into the game *I have to say kudos to him for still doing everything from the phone calls to the court appearance to the dishes to the laundry to the fixing the problem with the job rather than sticking head in the proverbial gaming sand* so I understand why he wanted to escape into the game where he was really successful and could feel good about himself as he killed other people's characters and won a lot.

All I thought was me me me why you sitting on the computer all weekend, and I have to stop and realize its more to it than that - not an excuse, but I can still be understanding and compromise.

So, he is putting it down a few days, then when he plays he swears he will limit the amount better and regulate it even if there is nothing else to do sometimes. He suggested we play board games with SD12. He suggested that he is is going to to initiate intimacy and maybe do something other than that which freaks him out or just spend time cuddling and snuggling more.

We'll see how it goes, but I feel good about it and from the past nine years, I am confident he was being honest and will do what he says (we went through this when we both played the previous game and tried to play less and then just quit because I felt we were not able to limit it as much as we should and focus more on SD12 and being present and accessible to her in the evening, and he did that with no problem and stuck with it).

Thanks! I can't complain too much about the sex since for two years he practically begged and was always interested, but I was suffering with severe depression and could sleep 18 hours (and DID a few times) and had NO interest and felt fat and ugly.

We had a great talk and tonight he didn't even mention logging into the game and instead he chose a show for us to watch after dinner, which we talked during dinner with SD12, then after the show we played a board game with SD12 and everyone helped clean up after dinner.

Yes, it did include my birthday in his online game addiction, and I said Just this september, but the game was released 8/25/2012 and he has played it nonstop *in free time* since release - he still works and cleans house and does dishes and everything he needs to do at least.

He swears to fix it now and apologized. He's worth working on things and compromising so long as he tries. I will NOT tolerate him going head-long into that game long-term, however, if he doesn't fix it. I want to work on it before it goes on so long that it is irreparable, we're pregnant, we're happy (except this playing the game too much thing), and I want to have hope.

He isn't addicted to adult sites at least. Just the game. And he didn't touch it today and promises to not play tomorrow and then to play LESS and focus more on other stuff. So right now, only time will tell.

I'm writing down when he logs in and logs out of that game from now on so that I can say as a fact its too much rather than it being debatable and also so I don't gloss over it and say "oh well he had nothing else to do" or he can't down play it if he starts playing it all the time again.