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This is a surprise. SD25 just texted me...

Aniki's picture

...asking if I could meet her for drinks.

While we might think she's advocating for SD22, there's a 50/50 shot. Why? Because SD22 has a short and explosive temper, takes offense over the smallest thing, and - half the time - SD22 and SD25 are not speaking to one another. I know that, currently, they are NOT getting along. Her message makes me think this has little to nothing to do with SD22 the moneygrubber.

Here's the text...
Aniki, this is SD25. I've been thinking alot since Christmas and well.. The thing is I haven't been fair to you. None of us kids have. I think I'm finally beginning to understand how difficult it has been for you. Could we meet for drinks tonight?


I'm leaning towards saying yes and going in with a maximum amount of caution. Thoughts? Suggestions?


Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

Make sure she is sober when you speak to her - and don't be over the limit if you need to drive. (I won't trust a skid not  to call the cops on you when leaving a bar...)

I would accept, but I would be very cautious around evaluating what she says. Skids make suspicious of their motives and intentions.

futurobrillante99's picture

This is rather short notice and sudden. I'm skeptical because she states SHE hasn't been fair to you AND none of "us kids" have been fair to you. Why isn't it just about you and her? The fact she includes the others would make me think it's not just about you and her.

Suggestion: tell her you would like to get together for drinks.............but not tonight. Ask her if you can get back to her with a  better day - maybe next week.

See how she reacts to scheduling it on your terms. If she's sincere, waiting won't be a problem. If she has an agenda or a timeline (what if SD22 is pushing to move in with her?), she may not be willing to leave it open ended or meet on your terms.

Aniki's picture

SD25 is the oldest and has often been sort of the 'spokesperson' for all of the skids. Because of BioHo being who/want she is, SD25 was always the one in charge and raised her younger siblings until she moved out.

There is NO WAY that SD22 is moving in with her. SD25 has a 2 br apartment with baby daddy and their 2 kids.

TwoOfUs's picture

I'd accept just out of curiosity. My OSD came around after being an all-around hellian and mean, mean, mean (less to me...more to her dad and siblings...but I still had to live with it and watch...) 

I tend to have an open mind about these kinds of things. Go with caution! 

Aniki's picture

I admit that I AM curious. SD25 was also a hellion growing up. Baby #2 mellowed her quite a bit.

Dovina's picture

but be very cautious. Who knows she may be capitalizing on the fact  that you  and DH are on the outs with SD22.  Good luck Smile


Aniki's picture

Why, Dovina! *I* am not on the outs with SD22! DH is the one who demanded an apology! ~bats lashes~

ndc's picture

I wonder if this has anything to do with BM's "urgent" texts to your husband earlier.

I'd probably go out of curiosity but with antennae way up.  What's your relationship been like with this SD?  Does DH have any thoughts on what she might be up to?  Be careful, good luck, and I hope her motives are pure.

Aniki's picture

Until the gaslighting attempt led by SD22, I had an excellent relationship with SD25. In fact, it totally chapped BioHo's arse that SD25 used to call me for advice and we would meet for a drink every few months.

Aniki's picture

Yes, until 1.5 years ago (The Gaslighting Incident).

To be honest, of all the skids, I'm actually not so surprised that SD25 is reaching out. Weird??

Survivingstephell's picture

I smell something fishy about the timing of this and I would drag this out.  Be unavailable now but maybe in a week.  See how she reacts to that.  Suggest that you and DH can go next weekend.  Be united to ALL the skids.  Divide and conquer is a common tactic used with these dysfunctional types.  Let's get Aniki on our side then daddy will do what she says.  

SD made her bed and now she has to suffer the consequences.  Her siblings may not want to help her but let them deal with her.  I see drama triangle stuff.  

Aniki's picture

I will never take a skid's 'side' over DH. NEVER. As for me persuading Daddy to do what they want? They tried that in the past. My answer was always, "You have to ask your dad."

What do you mean "be united to ALL the skids"? SS19 is hundreds of miles away.

Wilhelm's picture

We have even had the skids go so far as ringing DHs brothers to get DH to agree to something. The brothers side woth DH and wont have a bar of it.

tog redux's picture

I too wonder if it has anything to do with BM's panic about SD22 moving out.

I'd go though, just for the curiosity factor.

What_did_i_just_sign_for's picture

I'd go just out of curiosity.

If she comes at you sideways..  walk away.

Aniki's picture


I texted DH to ask if he knew what was going on. He sent me a screenshot of texts between him and SD25.

SD: Dad I've been a real shit. I've been awful to Aniki.. said and did awful things. Do you think she'll talk to me?
DH: You done being a shit?
SD: Yes. I want to tell her how sorry I am. To you too Dad. I'm sorry.
DH: Ask her.
SD: Okay. I really am sorry Dad.
DH: You need to tell that to Aniki.
SD: I will.


So.... I texted SD back.

Me: Hi SD. I cannot meet tonight. Will tomorrow work?
SD: Yes.. THANK YOU!!!! Wherever you want to go.. and I'm buying!!!

We shall see...

futurobrillante99's picture

I hope her awesome apology isn't supposed to be SO awesome that SD22 can get HER money!! LOL

Or maybe SD25 is afraid she's going to miss out on future Christmas cash. LOL

Aniki's picture

Baby daddy makes more money than DH. DH gave them the same amount as the SSs. She actually tried to give it back. *shok*

lala-land's picture

Can you record the entire interaction on your phone.  Just in case things go sideways?

somethingwicked's picture

As a SM thrice burned by underhanded ,lying ,petty and vicious ADULT skids,  I say pass.

Facetime or Skype over drinks in the comfort of your home if you MUST speak with this person.

If you go take a base ball bat a flaregun and some warm blankets and drinking water .Just in case...

Flare gun,water and blankets in case you get stranded in bad weather.

Base ball bat is for SD25  if she has more than one and transforms into her ugly drunk self.


Good Luck


Aniki's picture

No facetime or skype. 'Ho is the ugly drunk. SD25 gets stupid and forgets things.

Wicked! No baseball bat needed. I've got 6 inches on SD and could easily snap her wrist. She's a cream puff and I'm a born fighter. I wasn't nicknamed Valkyrie for nothing. 

Siemprematahari's picture

What does your instinct tell you?

If you're ok with it, I'd go but as everyone stated just be cautious and enjoy one drink just in case you have to grab your car keys and go. See what she has to say and just listen as you enjoy that drink and take it from there. 

Take care of you Amiga!

Aniki's picture

My gut says Go. In all these years, SD25 has never apologized to DH. So I'll go and see what's what. 

Winter weather means I will have no more than one drink (will switch to pop or water, if needed).

MidwestMrs's picture

Aniki even tho sd25s the oldest, sd22 is a major bitch just like her nasty mother and a ringleader. Sd25 was always alot nicer. Fingers crossed!

Aniki's picture

I'd forgotten that you met them, Midwest. You need to get your arse back up here for a weekend!! Kiss 2

Exjuliemccoy's picture

*Runs to Costco for popcorn and jug o' liquor*

Keep us posted. This should be very interesting.

StepUltimate's picture

That's hilarius! Biggrin

Harry's picture

She wants something.  A. Money.  B. Money.  C.  Something money can buy.  D. Wanting you to pay for something.  the big. E.  Wants to move in ?

Aniki's picture

SD's baby daddy makes more money than my DH. DH gave SD and baby daddy money (the two of them received what the single skids got). SD actually tried to give it back to DH. I didn't learn about that until the other week.

She and baby daddy and their 2 children live in a very nice 2 br apartment. She's not about to try and move in. She might actually be growing up.


Iamwoman's picture

Sorry I’m late to the party on this one!

Yes, Aniki, go and meet her for drinks. Perhaps she really has had a revelation and is maturing. After all, 25 is that magic age where the irrational “teen brain” suddenly clicks off, and the normal, logical brain switches on. I remember the day very clearly back when I was 25. Suddenly, the world seemed to make more sense, I began to make better decisions, and things that people told me for years began to make sense. It was also when I ended the roller coaster ride with DD’s dad because I suddenly saw my “relationship” with him through a lens of logic as opposed to overwhelming emotions.

Give her a chance. She may be legitimately maturing. I’m excited for you!!

Aniki's picture

I'm going and you may be right.

This is the first time she has actually apologized to DH. And she's done some very crappy thinigs to DH over the years (including steal from him),. I learned the other week - in the midst of the SD22 moneygrubbing - that SD25 actually tried to get DH to take back the money he gave her and baby daddy for Christmas. Amazing!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Do you know if she's got a new boyfriend??? Maybe she got one with a kid and is facing the wrath of the crazy and it actually hit her... Not holding my breathe. But my moody a$$ is trying to be more positive... Because grumpy parania brain really hasnt' been healthy...

I'll come with you! Designated Driver. LMAO

Aniki's picture

No, that would be SD22. She cannot keep a boyfriend because she starts talking moving in and babies and marriage within days of them hooking up. They keep her until they find fresh meat. The longest she ever had a bf was Troglodyte and he was a POS. She was actually the best thing that happened to him. Gaaaaaah!!!

SD25 has been with baby daddy on and off for almost 10 years. They got back together 4.5 years ago and stayed together.

I'd love for you to be my DD!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Ah. The obsessive creepy type... Some might callt that starting to get borderline stalkerish... In fact... Add in some love letters showing up to a house you never gave the address too, contacting your best friends saying that you love him and he just needs to "fix us." And she'll really start hitting stalker number two's description on the head....

At least she's consistent? That's imporessive if nothing else... 

Yay! I'm on it then!!! 

Aniki's picture

Some updates:

I'm taking a taxi tonight.

The other week, I learned that on Christmas, SD25 tried to get DH to take back the money he gave her and baby daddy. DH gave the two of them $200 (which is what he gave SS19 and PigPen - and WOULD have given SD22). THAT was a shocker. SD25 has OFTEN contacted DH when she needed some money.

Last night, DH told me that SD25 and BioHo got into it shortly after Christmas and haven't been speaking since. BioHo and SD22 are two peas in a pod, so they are frequently on the outs with SD25 when she won't concede to their wants.


DH also showed me the rest of the texts between him and SD25. To recap:

SD: Dad I've been a real shit. I've been awful to Aniki.. said and did awful things. Do you think she'll talk to me?
DH: You done being a shit?
SD: Yes. I want to tell her how sorry I am. To you too Dad. I'm sorry.
DH: Ask her.
SD: Okay. I really am sorry Dad.
DH: You need to tell that to Aniki.
SD: I will.

And the rest...

SD: Dad, I've been a real shit to you too. For a long time. I did things I'm not proud of.. Lied to you, lied ABOUT you, stole from you, used you.. I know I can't make any of that up to you. Dad I'm sorry.. Really and truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me.
DH: I can and I do.
SD: Thank you!!!!! I want to be a better person. You've been great to me. Even when I didn't deserve it. I want you to know I appreciate you being so solid. You never let me down even when I let you down.
DH: We all make mistakes. I still do.
SD: YOU?????
DH: Sure. Learn from them.
SD: I'm trying hard to do that and stop making the same ones over and over.
DH: That's the best you can do.
SD: I love you Dad. <3 <3
DH: Love you too hon.

I was absolutely FLOORED by that. So I'll be meeting SD25 tonight with cautious optimism. Shok