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This is a surprise. SD25 just texted me...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

...asking if I could meet her for drinks.

While we might think she's advocating for SD22, there's a 50/50 shot. Why? Because SD22 has a short and explosive temper, takes offense over the smallest thing, and - half the time - SD22 and SD25 are not speaking to one another. I know that, currently, they are NOT getting along. Her message makes me think this has little to nothing to do with SD22 the moneygrubber.

Here's the text...
Aniki, this is SD25. I've been thinking alot since Christmas and well.. The thing is I haven't been fair to you. None of us kids have. I think I'm finally beginning to understand how difficult it has been for you. Could we meet for drinks tonight?

 

I'm leaning towards saying yes and going in with a maximum amount of caution. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Comments

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

Make sure she is sober when you speak to her - and don't be over the limit if you need to drive. (I won't trust a skid not  to call the cops on you when leaving a bar...)

I would accept, but I would be very cautious around evaluating what she says. Skids make suspicious of their motives and intentions.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

She would be coming straight from school, so definitely sober. I would limit myself to ONE.

TwoOfUs's picture

I'd accept just out of curiosity. My OSD came around after being an all-around hellian and mean, mean, mean (less to me...more to her dad and siblings...but I still had to live with it and watch...) 

I tend to have an open mind about these kinds of things. Go with caution! 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I admit that I AM curious. SD25 was also a hellion growing up. Baby #2 mellowed her quite a bit.

Dovina's picture

but be very cautious. Who knows she may be capitalizing on the fact  that you  and DH are on the outs with SD22.  Good luck Smile

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Why, Dovina! *I* am not on the outs with SD22! DH is the one who demanded an apology! ~bats lashes~

ndc's picture

I wonder if this has anything to do with BM's "urgent" texts to your husband earlier.

I'd probably go out of curiosity but with antennae way up.  What's your relationship been like with this SD?  Does DH have any thoughts on what she might be up to?  Be careful, good luck, and I hope her motives are pure.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Until the gaslighting attempt led by SD22, I had an excellent relationship with SD25. In fact, it totally chapped BioHo's arse that SD25 used to call me for advice and we would meet for a drink every few months.

Survivingstephell's picture

I smell something fishy about the timing of this and I would drag this out.  Be unavailable now but maybe in a week.  See how she reacts to that.  Suggest that you and DH can go next weekend.  Be united to ALL the skids.  Divide and conquer is a common tactic used with these dysfunctional types.  Let's get Aniki on our side then daddy will do what she says.  

SD made her bed and now she has to suffer the consequences.  Her siblings may not want to help her but let them deal with her.  I see drama triangle stuff.  

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I will never take a skid's 'side' over DH. NEVER. As for me persuading Daddy to do what they want? They tried that in the past. My answer was always, "You have to ask your dad."

What do you mean "be united to ALL the skids"? SS19 is hundreds of miles away.

Wilhelm's picture

We have even had the skids go so far as ringing DHs brothers to get DH to agree to something. The brothers side woth DH and wont have a bar of it.

tog redux's picture

I too wonder if it has anything to do with BM's panic about SD22 moving out.

I'd go though, just for the curiosity factor.

What_did_i_just_sign_for's picture

I'd go just out of curiosity.

If she comes at you sideways..  walk away.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

INTERESTING!

I texted DH to ask if he knew what was going on. He sent me a screenshot of texts between him and SD25.

SD: Dad I've been a real shit. I've been awful to Aniki.. said and did awful things. Do you think she'll talk to me?
DH: You done being a shit?
SD: Yes. I want to tell her how sorry I am. To you too Dad. I'm sorry.
DH: Ask her.
SD: Okay. I really am sorry Dad.
DH: You need to tell that to Aniki.
SD: I will.

 

So.... I texted SD back.

Me: Hi SD. I cannot meet tonight. Will tomorrow work?
SD: Yes.. THANK YOU!!!! Wherever you want to go.. and I'm buying!!!

We shall see...

lala-land's picture

Can you record the entire interaction on your phone.  Just in case things go sideways?

Siemprematahari's picture

What does your instinct tell you?

If you're ok with it, I'd go but as everyone stated just be cautious and enjoy one drink just in case you have to grab your car keys and go. See what she has to say and just listen as you enjoy that drink and take it from there. 

Take care of you Amiga!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

My gut says Go. In all these years, SD25 has never apologized to DH. So I'll go and see what's what. 

Winter weather means I will have no more than one drink (will switch to pop or water, if needed).

MidwestMrs's picture

Aniki even tho sd25s the oldest, sd22 is a major bitch just like her nasty mother and a ringleader. Sd25 was always alot nicer. Fingers crossed!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I'd forgotten that you met them, Midwest. You need to get your arse back up here for a weekend!! Kiss 2

Exjuliemccoy's picture

*Runs to Costco for popcorn and jug o' liquor*

Keep us posted. This should be very interesting.

StepUltimate's picture

That's hilarius! Biggrin

Harry's picture

She wants something.  A. Money.  B. Money.  C.  Something money can buy.  D. Wanting you to pay for something.  the big. E.  Wants to move in ?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

SD's baby daddy makes more money than my DH. DH gave SD and baby daddy money (the two of them received what the single skids got). SD actually tried to give it back to DH. I didn't learn about that until the other week.

She and baby daddy and their 2 children live in a very nice 2 br apartment. She's not about to try and move in. She might actually be growing up.

 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Do you know if she's got a new boyfriend??? Maybe she got one with a kid and is facing the wrath of the crazy and it actually hit her... Not holding my breathe. But my moody a$$ is trying to be more positive... Because grumpy parania brain really hasnt' been healthy...

I'll come with you! Designated Driver. LMAO

Aniki-Moderator's picture

No, that would be SD22. She cannot keep a boyfriend because she starts talking moving in and babies and marriage within days of them hooking up. They keep her until they find fresh meat. The longest she ever had a bf was Troglodyte and he was a POS. She was actually the best thing that happened to him. Gaaaaaah!!!

SD25 has been with baby daddy on and off for almost 10 years. They got back together 4.5 years ago and stayed together.

I'd love for you to be my DD!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Ah. The obsessive creepy type... Some might callt that starting to get borderline stalkerish... In fact... Add in some love letters showing up to a house you never gave the address too, contacting your best friends saying that you love him and he just needs to "fix us." And she'll really start hitting stalker number two's description on the head....

At least she's consistent? That's imporessive if nothing else... 

Yay! I'm on it then!!! 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Some updates:

I'm taking a taxi tonight.

The other week, I learned that on Christmas, SD25 tried to get DH to take back the money he gave her and baby daddy. DH gave the two of them $200 (which is what he gave SS19 and PigPen - and WOULD have given SD22). THAT was a shocker. SD25 has OFTEN contacted DH when she needed some money.

Last night, DH told me that SD25 and BioHo got into it shortly after Christmas and haven't been speaking since. BioHo and SD22 are two peas in a pod, so they are frequently on the outs with SD25 when she won't concede to their wants.

 

DH also showed me the rest of the texts between him and SD25. To recap:

SD: Dad I've been a real shit. I've been awful to Aniki.. said and did awful things. Do you think she'll talk to me?
DH: You done being a shit?
SD: Yes. I want to tell her how sorry I am. To you too Dad. I'm sorry.
DH: Ask her.
SD: Okay. I really am sorry Dad.
DH: You need to tell that to Aniki.
SD: I will.

And the rest...

SD: Dad, I've been a real shit to you too. For a long time. I did things I'm not proud of.. Lied to you, lied ABOUT you, stole from you, used you.. I know I can't make any of that up to you. Dad I'm sorry.. Really and truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me.
DH: I can and I do.
SD: Thank you!!!!! I want to be a better person. You've been great to me. Even when I didn't deserve it. I want you to know I appreciate you being so solid. You never let me down even when I let you down.
DH: We all make mistakes. I still do.
SD: YOU?????
DH: Sure. Learn from them.
SD: I'm trying hard to do that and stop making the same ones over and over.
DH: That's the best you can do.
SD: I love you Dad. <3 <3
DH: Love you too hon.

I was absolutely FLOORED by that. So I'll be meeting SD25 tonight with cautious optimism. Shok