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OT - Mental Health Monday

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Monday. Are you already counting the days/hours 'til Friday and the start of the weekend?

I've been doing this waaaaay too much lately and it all boils down to one thing: King Pita being a PITA. We've been going through a major overhaul at work and, as the months go on, King Pita has become more and more of a PITA. The few with whom I trust to discuss all believe that KP is desperate to prove his worth by sticking his finger in every pie and his nose in everyone's work. Unfortunately, I hold out little hope that this overhaul will end with KP going elsewhere. He was such a PITA last week, sticking his nose into everything, causing extra work, irritating me like pure wool fabric on raw and rashy skin, that I lost my shizzit on Friday. I simply could NOT tolerate him in the last-minute 2pm meeting he scheduled - that we all know would exceed the scheduled 30 minute time - and played the Migraine Card. TBH, it wasn't too far from the truth as my head was pounding and my left eye was starting to twitch. And that 30 minute meeting? I was informed by Old Navy that it was 77 agonizing minutes long. Gads. 

Saturday morning, I was sitting outside with my slab of coffee (so strong it could wake the neighbors) and beating myself up over using "I have a migraine" to escape King Pita. For months, I've been trying to change my mindset over KP. Many, MANY months. Too damn many. I had never before failed to rearrange my thinking over other pitas. Why was I having such difficulty with KP? I felt like Queen Failure. 

And then I realized that maybe I had not failed. Come on. King Pita IS bloody annoying. Even DH, who has never met KP (but has heard him on Zoom and listened to the crap he pulls), can't stand him. The bottom line is that KP, no matter how "nice" he tries to be, is a King-sized.Pain.In.The.Arse. Let's face it: KP ain't going anywhere so... I had not technically failed. Instead of changing my mindset about KP, I need to change my approach and what I do to handle his epic obnoxiousness.

  1. KP is, in fact, a PITA. Period.Dot. Recognize the fact.
  2. With the exception of KP, I love my job. Sure, I could look for another, but I don't want to!
  3. Find a way to stop letting KP get under my skin that doesn't involve alcohol or meds.

After speaking with a friend who works with loud and annoying people on a daily basis, I found a cool (and free) app for my phone called Sleep Sounds. It can be used for sleep or mediation, or soothe the savage beast inside Aniki. Sleep Sounds has a nice variety of Sounds with a ton of things you can add on to them. For the last hour, I've been listening to Cafe which, for some reason, is reminiscent of background music in Charlie Brown. 

The Sounds:

  • Ocean
  • Forest
  • Rain
  • Night
  • Lake
  • Creek
  • Grassland
  • Cave
  • Farm
  • Fire
  • Waterfall
  • Uderwater
  • Desert
  • Train Journey
  • Air Travel
  • Cafe
  • Harmony
  • Hope For Bettter
  • Look Within


Add-ons: you can add MULTIPLE and adjust the volume of each add-on (some are Pro, which means purchase $):

  • Rain & Thunders
    • Light Rain
    • Heavy Rain
    • Thunder
    • Rain on Umbrella
    • Rain on Window
    • Snow
    • Rain on Roof
    • Rain on Tent
    • Rain on Puddle
  • Nature
    • Ocean
    • Lake
    • Creek
    • Forest
    • Wind Leaves
    • Wind
    • Waterfall
    • Drip
    • Underwater
    • Farm
    • Grassland
    • Fire
  • Animal
    • Bird
    • Bird2
    • Seagull
    • Frog
    • Frog2
    • Cricket
    • Cicada
    • Wolf (I had one howling undewater - lol)
    • Loon
    • Cat Purring ($)
    • Whale ($)
    • Owl ($)
  • Transport
    • Train
    • Car
    • Airplane
  • CIty & Instrument
    • Cafe
    • Crowd
    • Heartbeat
    • Construction Site
    • Lullaby
    • Dryer
    • Hair Dryer
    • Vaccum Cleaner
    • Fan
    • Clock ($)
    • Keyboard ($)
    • Wiper ($)
    • Cars Passing ($)
    • Wind CHime ($)
    • Meditation Bell ($)
    • Violin ($)
    • Harp ($)
    • Guzheng ($)
  • White Noise
    • White Noise
    • Brown Noise
    • Pink Noise
  • Meditation
    • Guitar
    • Piano
    • Flute


Fingers crossed this will help level me out. I've already had to deal with KP 3 times today and am, surprisingly, feeling pretty damn mellow! 


If you are thinking about hurting yourself, call a family member or friend or 911. Please call someone.  <3




Gimlet's picture

((hugs)) doll.

For people like KP, I put a private meeting on my calendar for the next time slot after their meeting and tell them I have a "hard stop" at that time (they don't need to know what that stop is, IMO).   Going that far over a scheduled time is both disrespectful and indicative of someone who cannot manage a meeting well.  I also have a policy of responding to any meeting without an agenda as "tentative" until an agenda is published.  Not sure if either of those ideas are reasonable in your workplace.

I am struggling more with the departure of my former therapist than I had expected.  It's been hard to try to catch the new one up on all the years of work we had done together and I am not sure I am ever going to find someone like him again.

I am also exploring why I was dreading coming home from our trip.  Technically YSS is improving but I am burned out on the whole situation I think.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I have a number of meetings adjacent to KP meetings, but KP cares nothing for other meetings or "hard stops" - unless they are his. And I'm not in a position to be able to respond to many meetings with "tentative". KP is higher on the food chain, so I have to accept his meetings and just deal with it. I did make the decision to try a version of Gray Rock and offer no advice and say nothing unless specifically asked...

Gimmy, I simply do not have it in me to find another therapist at this time. In our last meeting, mine told me that I am very insightful and have it in me to resolve my issues - and often do - without any help from her. Maybe my biggest issue is losing her as a sounding board. So I'm going old school and will start writing (and burning) again. 

Darlin', I also think you're burned out. This road with YSS has been horribly rocky with very little "time off" from him and the whole situation. I have so much admiration for you dealing with all of this. {{{hugs}}}

Gimlet's picture

Got it.  Our workplace culture is a little different so I can get away with that, sorry that you are subject to his whims.   It sounds like you are doing what you can to deal with him. 

I have trouble sorting my feelings sometimes.  Because of my upbringing, they get sort of jumbled and part of my work with my old therapist was identifying the physical sensations and naming them and then connecting them to my emotions (and expanding that vocabulary).  Pretty basic stuff, but big for me as it can take me some time to do this.

Thanks, the validation and support mean a lot. 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Hugs to both of you.  You are both wise ladies who have so much to offer all of us.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I have trouble, too. I'm still learning emotional triggers from things that happened many years ago. 

You have a lot of support, dear lady. <3

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Sadly, no. KP is a higher level employee. And, as I posted on the PA/SV blog... Without going into too much detail, KP could play a couple of Discrimination cards if he was canned. Complaining about him would be detrimental to MY job. There is a teeny possbility he could be transferred elsewhere. There is also a possbility he could be promoted at some time. I'm hoping he will retire soon!

ESMOD's picture

ahhhhgggg.... it sucks that you have someone that you have to work with closely that is such a well.. PITA.  I would also look into noise canceling headphones.. maybe with bluetooth that could also hook up to your phone so you could listen to music etc.. or at the very least enjoy some silence without the booming voice.

We have a loud PITA in my office.. fortunately, I rarely have to deal with him.  

But... I do tend to grey rock and shoot daggers of death at people who participate in the meeting unnecessarily long and prolong our agony.. haha.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

ESMOD, the new app I downloaded can be used to "cancel" people's voices - it's a matter of finding which Sound works with a particular voice (or noise). What's nice is that I can have this playing at a low volume while I'm on a Zoom. When we have to go back into the office, I'll try keeping my phone in my pocket (or bra!) or have in a single earphone so I can continue listening to soothing sounds. 

Our Zoom meetings are No Camera - good thing because I'm sure I'd get caught making faces! *biggrin*

Cover1W's picture

I am not looking forward to the weekend b/c YSD will be here AGAIN.  This past weekend I worked pretty much all day Saturday, which I was expecting because it's my busy season, but was looking forward to some couch time and bad shows next weekend. then Sunday I was away running errands all day. Next weekend the housecleaner is coming and I'll hopefully meet up with friends but will still be home a lot more.  But you know what?  I'm gonig to open a bottle of bubbly next Satruday early eve and watch my bad shows anyway.  AND I decdided to get a new couch/sectional. I love my old 1960s couch, it was my parents when they married.  It's already been re-covered one time and needs it again. The cost of doing that is MORE than double just getting a new one. Since DH is so hard on furniture, I'm going to new. Which I'm going to look for in about 5 mintues.

I love those sleep sounds!  My old apartment was sooooooo quiet I couldn't sleep and I used those sounds every night. Sometimes still do if DH is up late or away.  I made several favorite mixes.

Breathe deep because nothing lasts forever.  XO

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Cover, what kind of bubbly?! 

I somtimes find it sad that new is cheaper than refurbishing old. We have a lovely concrete bench that's been gently "crumbling" for a few years. Until this year when the pieces really started breaking off. DH looked into the materials necessary to fix/reinforce and it costs damn near $200! A new bench costs $100. Last weekend, I took a little road trip and found a fancier style (listed as "Roman") of bench for $125. Fat Aniki was very flattered when the young man flirting with her gave a 10% discount, then asked for her phone number... *blush*

I am STILL listening to this Cafe Sound (and thinking of Charlie Brown). Just got off of a Zoom with KP and am calm. Funny thing: I thought I would dislike Cafe because it has a background of people talking (indistinguishable). That combined with the Charlie Brown piano music has me really chilled out! I just added on Ocean at a low volume: my head mentally lolled back and I have a stupid grin on my face. *biggrin*

CallMeCrazy's picture


I wish I had advice, but I'm sorry you have to deal with him.

DPW's picture

I'm surprised your company allows him to go on and on, regardless of anyone else's calendar. When I was in the corporate world, we had rules to meetings. Hard stops was one, for example. Using a parking lot for non agenda items that can be covered if there is free time at the end or moves to the next meeting was another. Sorry it goes on and on.

Me.... I'm done, baked, numb.... My work is so bad right now. I love my job, but don't love the current climate nor my staff right now. They are disappointing me big time. It's like everyone has gone crazy all at once. I really considered quitting my job last week (and like I said, I love my job) because it's just too much. I quit the corporate world in the big city for not-for-profit, small city and the stress is now worse.... I just feel like I never get a f'n break. Sorry, I'm whiny today....

Aniki-Moderator's picture

DPW, KP can practically/virtually "hold us prisoner" due to his job level. Most of us take pride in our jobs and bust our butts before/after KP meetings. The thing is, we produce despite KP. No one will recognize that we would be more productive without him.

Don't you dare apologize for whining on here, hon! We need to vent or we'll blow up.. Any of my blogs; any time. *give_rose*