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OT - Eff Off Friday

Aniki's picture

TGIF!!! It's been a long time getting here. Aniki is sooooo ready for a 2-week weekend...LOL! Whose with me?

Eff off to:

  • Senior managment. Not only are we getting the job done while working from home, but we are MORE productive. But senior management is looking into "tools" that track our productivity to prove we are doing the work. Huh??? MORE productive, but we need to prove that WE are doing the work and not Santa's elves? More hoops to jump through means we spend more time on hoop jumping and less time on projects and are, therefore, less productive. That's right: if more hoop jumping is required, that is PART of our duties, so compute that hoop umping time into your asstastic calculations.
  • Mother Nature. We're a third of the way through December and it looks like mid-October out there. Where the eff is my effing snow??? This ice-for-blood Finn is having serious withdrawals. Bring it!
  • People who say things like "I don't mean to be rude, but...". OH YES YOU DO! You absolutely DO mean to be rude. You and your inflated ego and ugly arrogance have you constantly trying to prove that you are better than everyone. Please dig down deeeeeeeeeeeep into your compassionless soul and try to access that singular, stunted micro-atom of sensitivity that you have left and LOOK at the person you just "one-upped" with your triumphalism. Go ahead. I'm waiting to hear the ~POP~ of your head wresting itself from deep within your colon... Did you notice the person you just verbally crapped on has dried tear tracks down her face? Of course you didn't, you supercilious twunt. Your need to be an imperious despot crushes any sympathy/empathy you might have left. Good job adding another layer of shit to the poor lady's already overflowing shit sandwich. Farking icehole.
  • BioHo. As usual, using SS18's phone to call because she knows DH won't answer. PItching a fit because the skids aren't going to her house from Christmas (SD27 & family, SD24 & fiance, SD21 and fiancee). DH's response? "I don't give two f*cks. In case it escaped your tiny mind, there's a f*cking quarantine going on." ~click~  I love that man!


Wishing you a stress-free and enjoyable weekend! 


Cover1W's picture

Oh, I hear you about the 'proving you are doing your job tracking even though you are missing zero deadlines, are always available, do extra projects without anyone asking you to do so and get glowing reviews from co-workers and other departments."  I HATE THAT. I actually changed departments at my current employer last year partly BECAUSE of the inane tracking.  "I see you haven't completed your tracking sheet lately (i.e. in last three days)."  "That's because I only do it on Fridays and set aside at least an HOUR to complete it because I'm DOING MY JOB otherwise."  Yes, I said that more than once. And we were physically IN the office then.

Ok, maybe ONE Eff - Remote working is now restricted to only a few states in the U.S. that have 'adequate worker protection laws." Wait a minute. We VPN in to our state only, no other way.  We are "working" from our state no matter where in the world we are. My husband, working for a huge computer company has no such clause and can work anywhere so long as he's working. WHY are they doing this?  To limit us Admins from actually working remotely?  We have questions now about vacation time - can we log in from another location while we are on vacation (a common issue for those in my role)? It's so messy.  Again, our HR departmnet is confusing us.


I don't have many Effs today. I think I'm going to grocery store today instead of tomorrow (no groc delivery in our location and I try to avoid 'busier' times). Going to bake my booty off this weekend, cookies, rum balls, panetonne....and maybe blackberry muffins.  Then do treat deliveries to my neighbors and a couple friends (physically distant of course).


Aniki's picture

Yes, Cover! It takes TIME to complete that tracking caca. Too many of us work an extra hour here and there, but never claim it. Some of the programmers are already grumbling that if they have to complete work tracking, they will work 8 hours. Period. Not one minute extra. This is insulting. 

Mmmmmm.... rum balls and blackberry muffins! I have blackberries in the freezer and need to do something with them - including removing the seeds (DH won't eat them otherwise). I'm trying to think of seafood dinner to cook that DH will eat and am not feeling inspired. Crab Alfredo? Shrimp Scampi? I could reeeeeally go for some lobster and King crab legs, but $$$...

halo1998's picture

Brings back fond memories of our former boss.  He didn't believe in working from home....if he couldn't see us we must not be working.  ***INSERT THE BIGGEST EYE ROLL EVER****

Okey Dokey there boss....I then went to the 8 and skate model.  I work 8 hours in the office and the skate.  No more no less. 

The first time he called me after hours and I wasn't oncall....I ignored his call.  Then when he asked why....I informed him I worked my 8 hours that day and that I was done.   After all if you can't see me working, then I must not be working so how could I do anything he needed if I was at home.  As a database admin..our work is often at odd times.....but want me in the office for 8 hours a day with no flexibilty...then I also have no flexibilty.

Whew..he was not happy.  He is no longer our boss and our new boss works from home 3 days out of the needless to say....we work from home now.

Aniki's picture

Many years ago, I had a boss who spent much of her day timing how long we were away from our desks on bathroom breaks. I will never forget the day I had diarrhea and was in the bathroom, hoping I wasn't going to pass out (cold sweats, swimmy-headed...). I'd been gone maybe 10 minutes when she came into the bathroom, knocked on the stall door and asked, "Aniki, what are you doing?". *shok*  I was so miserable and so upset, I blurted out, "I'm SH!TTING!" followed my a porcelain-resounding shart. Gads.

Cover1W's picture

One of my former managers, also in the office I left last year, sometimes picked on people (it's like she singled people out) who came in 15 min or 30 min late here and there. The reason was usually due to traffic issues, well known in our area.  And these are people who worked their rears off. 

I advised them if they are going to be nit-picked like that to work their 8 hours and be DONE. It goes both ways.

24 years as a SM's picture

DS43's house has a major plumbing issue, (lives next door) so DS43, GS19, & GS17 are here at our house until the septic field can be replaced. Don't get me wrong, I love them to pieces, but I want QUIET, there is no such thing with teenagers in the house.

Eff off to Gout, DAH has gout in his right knee and you would thing that the world is coming to an end. Big Flipping Baby, He needs to have surgery to clean out scar tissue from previous injuries. I told him that if he didn't stop complaining, I would cut his damn leg off above the knee, then he wouldn't have to worry about any knee surgery. I don't dare give him any sympathy, if I do he will only get worse about complaining all the time.

Eff off to all the toilet paper hoarders, this time I ordered TP before the new stay at home order went into effect today. I got 160 rolls of TP stashed away. Oh wait, I am now a TP hoarder. Oops.

Aniki's picture

24, I hear you on the QUIET. DH is amazed that I do not listen to music or turn on the tv in the evenings (he's at work). After all of the zoom calls, I want that quiet! A couple of my friends want to do zoom (individually) and I simply cannot bring myself to do that. Sad

Oy. Men are such babies when sick/hurt. Mine is soooooo curmudgeony and rotten when he's sick. At least he wants to be left alone. I'm the only one he can tolerate when sick because I'm quiet and ignore him until he speaks to me. LOL

You evil hoarder, you! *diablo*

24 years as a SM's picture

I can't stand the Zoom meetings, one of the people I work with can't figure out how to do anything on the property management program we use. She will call me and ask for a Zoom meeting between us, so I can walk her through how to input a work order and estimate. My camera is separate from my laptop, I point the camera at my computer and show the idiot each flipping key stroke of how to input the information. It wouldn't be so bad if this was one time, but this is almost every day. The owner of the company has agreed with me, that if this continues she will be let go. I don't have time to do my job and hers too. In all honestly I really don't know why she was hired, I get complaints from property owners that they were not aware of a costly repair, until they get their monthly statement. The idiot is supposed to contact the owners for approval for any repair costs above $500.

Aniki's picture

Crikey! Those types of mistakes can be harmful to a business. Sounds like someone needs to make resumes... And it IS possible to find new jobs during the pandemic. Five of my friends have gotten jobs in the last 5-6 months.

Evil3's picture

"I don't mean to be rude but..." or "no offence, but..." or "don't take this the worng way, but..." While raising DD20 I have always said that if you ever start a sentence with any of these words, do not finish. Don't ever speak these words. Nothing good can come of it. Why some adults don't get that is beyond me.

Eff off to colleagues that have such mental health issues that they are a drain and a distraction. I've experienced someone like that (and in fact blogged about her in the past asking for advice). I've learned to see the red flags and not get caught up in such needy people. Well, my teammate has turned out to be so anxious that she can't handle the working from home thing. She's lonely. This chick as two Master's degrees and acts all brilliant and used to be my toxic boss' golden child. We have a team call every damn day. Probably for everyone to be checked on so we don't have any suicdes. Anyway. teammate has gone off the rails and my boss spends the entire hour almost every day talking down my team mate. As much as I don't like the guy, he really has gone above and beyond the call of duty to placate my teammate. What my boss goes through is above his pay grade as far as I'm concerned. I can sometimes tell he's getting frustrated and exhausted. His job is to lead: not talk someone off the ledge. His job is to make sure his team can get the work done. We have a job to do. His job should not be to talk someone off the ledge. This woman needs conselling. At least I've learned to step way back and act as if I'm watching from afar. Boss and teammate noticed that I've distanced myself. Oh well. It's a workplace. It's not my job to open myself up to someone so needy. If boss wants to continue to do that, that's on him. Anyway, it's Friday and payday, so I'm looking forward to the weekend.

Aniki's picture

Why some adults don't get that is beyond me.

Evil, I agree with you 1000%. IMO, people using those words mean "I don't like the way you're doing something because it's not MY way/what I would do". Tough gazongas.

How awful. Why doesn't she take advantage of EAP or online counseling (zoom)? It's often available and that is a terrible burden to put on your boss. Sad

Watereddown's picture

Eff off to grammar nazis, punctuation police and orthography officers who need to publicly humiliate others. Do that when you're perfect.

Aniki's picture

orthography officers

Love that! And I totally agree with you. My DH is terrible with gramming, spelling, and punctuation. But he's a mechanical genius and knows so much about history, he could teach it (per some history professors). 

We all have talents/weaknesses in a variety of areas. Let people shine instead of trying to put a smudge on their light.

Aniki's picture

Thumper, I've got a bottle of Samogon calling my name (it's Russian moonshine).

20 more minutes 'til the weekend...

Thumper's picture

We have Moonshine LOL

Be very careful that stuff will hit you hard and fast. Tomorrow you will say"Dear God, I promise I will never drink again"....True story.

Merry's picture

The "I don't mean to be rude BUT" (along with its cousins "I'm not racist BUT" or "It's none of my business BUT") drives me absolutely bonkers. 

Don't be rude. Don't be a racist. Mind your own business.

Aniki's picture

Mind your own business.

Amen, sister. Amen.

The minute you say BUT means you should BUTT OUT.

Gimlet's picture


It's so good to see you!!

Tuff Noogies's picture

fuck off friday to 2020.  we have closed the office once again due to covid.  back to half-time unemployment, working from home, and having a weeks worth of folks reporting to us in the span now of just 2 days. fun times!   not.....  but at least now i have a laptop to work from at home so i can goof off a bit and check into STalk from home now!!!!

halo1998's picture

got busy yesterday...yada, yada, yada.

Eff of to the asshat that took the head of the deer in the road but the left the rest of it.  Thanks poor DD just barely 19 ran over that sucker in a little honda civic, scared the ever loving bejezus out of her and caused 2700 dollars in damages.  I don't care if you took the stupid buck head for your wall (eeww) but you could at least be decent and move that sucker off the road.  My daughter and the TWO other motorist that ran over it right after her would have appreciated it.

Eff off to lazy ass application support people  QUIT calling me to "check" the database every flipping time your application is slow.  NO there are no locks, no there are no long running queries..I monitor for that shit and know way before you do and take care of it before you ever see it.  Shout out to to the US support side that jumped on the call and asked immediately..did you do a TRACE....No, well then there is very little we can do to help you. Do a trace and then we will review it.  Stop calling the hardware and database people before you have even done a trace.  

Aniki's picture

Took the head and left the rest in the road? What an effing effer!!!

It would be great if we could tell people that it's an ID10T error...