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OT - Eff Off/Forn Friday

Aniki-Moderator's picture

TGIF! Are you ready for the weekend, STalkers? Let's get the eff offs out of the way so we can move forward with Forn. Biggrin

Eff off to:

  • Fedex. Explain this caca that your website says you delivered my package even though it was NOT because it will be delivered tomorrow or another day. What the what?? How about you say the package has been delivered AFTER YOU DELIVER THE EFFING THING? It's not rocket science. 
  • People who get miffy when I won't divulge a confidence. Yes, you did see me having coffee with Jane Doe. Yes, she did look upset. Yes, I can see you are curious (nosy) as to the reason why. NO, I am NOT telling you what we discussed. Friends tell me things because I don't tell the world. I wasn’t nicknamed The Vault because I gossip. *dirol*

Psssst... if you're wondering why King Pita is missing from the lineup it's because he's on vacation and things have been smooth sailing. NO surprise! Sadly, it's not a permanent vacation and he'll be back next week to ruin it for us. *crazy*


Forn Friday 

Forn is 'food' and 'p0rn' combined. 

Comfort food. Just saying those two words makes me think of my Mom and the smells emanating from her kitchen. I close my eyes, breathe in, and smile. My Mom couldn't cook when she and Dad married. They were gifted a cookbook and Mom took to cooking like a duck to water. Even when times were lean and there wasn't a lot of meat to go around, she made delicious and filling meals,  making that little bit of meat go a long way. One of my favorites? Her Vegetable Beef Soup. I've never had it's equal. Thankfully, I was always underfoot in the kitchen and am the only one of my siblings who paid attention and I know that recipe like the back of my hand. The weather will be fairly balmy this weekend (temps in the 30s), but I'm making that cold-weather comfort food for DH and me to enjoy. I hope you're watching, Mom, and know that I love and miss you every single day. <3


Wishing you a stress-free, healthy, and enjoyable weekend!


halo1998's picture

Egads...I'm not sure these people can read.  

I literally got called out of my shower this morning (oncall) for a ticket that is not which I have responded..(I counted) 8 times already saying ...NOT IT...CAN'T LOGIN....have no access. This unfortunately is a common occurance.  I took everything in me to not respond...EFF OFF...I TOLD YOU ALREADY ITS NOT OURS.  In the end I ended up taking the ticket and then re assigning it back to the no help desk..telling them..NOPE NOT IT....CAN'T LOGIN..HAVE NO ACCESS.


Forn... :  christmas cookies...oh its the season...and I cannot wait to bake me some cookies.  

Spritz cookies, chocolate crinkles, lemon crinkles, linzer cookies, choco chip ....ah cookies


Birchclimber's picture

What is it with these delivery companies saying it's been delivered when it hasn't been??  I've had that happen with Purolator twice last week!  It's not nice to mess with people waiting on Christmas gifts.

Eff Off to me losing one of my Survivor players in our Couple's pool during Wednesday's episode.  (Sorry...avid Survivor fan here and I've got money riding on this thing!)
Eff Off to my YSD mentally torturing us once again.  Ruined the first part...actually the entire week for me.  (Flip Side: Props to DH who is seeing the light!)

Forn:  Am I (and my DH) the last person on earth who loves Fruit Cake?  With Marzipan topping??  I'm craving THAT. 


Cover1W's picture

I have a lot of EFFs this week and I am tired and cannot be bothered to list them.

Comfort food:  My mother was NOT a cook or a baker. Who knows how I got so good at it! I don't have any comfort foods from my childhood as a result.

My comfort food now is likely beans with a healthy amount of cayanne and rice with some melty cheese over the top. This is what I ate a lot of in college/grad school and I love it to this day. I will eat a whole can of beans this way sometimes. It may be what I have for dinner tomorrow!


Shieldmaiden's picture

This has been a week/month of my DH and I and my friends all getting fed up with other people's stupidity, greed, insensitivity, and just telling them to go to hell. 

DH came home yesterday. He has been struggling with a new middle manager, who we will call "Pencil-dick". Pencil-dick has been systematically treating all the workers so badly, that they have all quit or been fired. One guy was asked to have his doctor write him a note to "prove he wasn't retarded and could do his job."  Many of these guys have been working in the industry for 30 years or so. All you have is your reputation, and this pencildick ruins it for them. So yesterday, DH says "Well, I lost my sh*t today. " I said, are you fired? He said "Surprisingly, no."

DH was called into a meeting with 2 corporate douchebags from Texas, send to figure out who was the problem. Pencil dick says its everyone elses fault, and DH says its Pencil dick. Easy- peasy, right? Nope, these corporate douchebags couldn't find their assh*oles with a flashlight. So one Corporate starts yelling at DH in a very demeaning way about something small he forgot to do - although he has said multiple times that he is responsible for keeping things running in 3 states and all the other helpers have quit or been fired. 

DH then feels his ears ringing. DH stands up and calls the corporates "f**** pussies who don't know how the real world operates,and grabs one by his sweater vest, lifting him up so his face is inches from DH's. Pencil dick looks like he is about to scream and run, and mumbles something about "calming down." DH tells pencil dick to STFU and wait his turn, as DH has has about enough and will "settle this like men" in the parking lot, and he will get his turn. DH says "Look here. You don't come into my place of business and treat me like a fry cook. I have been risking my life for people like you for decades. You don't know a GD thing, because all you do is take 3 hour paid-for lunches on the company! " 

So apparently the corporates and pencil dick left to have a 3 hour lunch. DH prepared to look for another job. Then corporate sir-yells-a-lot meets him the parking lot, and apologizes sincerely for his bad behavior. DH thanks him and says "Great, just remember, if you EVER speak to me again like that, I will be kicking the living sh*t out of you in this parking lot. Until then, lets try to be friends. Ha ha. 

So, who knows what will happen to pencil dick. DH said "Well, I did warn them that I am a very large, very angry man with mental health issues. He he. They thought I was JOKING." 

DH regrets losing his temper, which is legendary - but I think it worked out as well as it could have. At least these guys were reminded that you can give someone professional criticism, but making it personal or treating someone who works for you badly, will always end badly. I think corporate america needs to remember who puts bread on their tables, and who pays for their 3 hour steak dinners on company time and dime. I love DH and I don't even care that he hulked out. I can see that he is so much more at peace now that he has told these idiots exactly where they stand with him. DH says "I don't NEED YOU as much as YOU NEED ME."  (His skills keep the company running. )

I love this big oaf.


JRI's picture

I'm laughing at Pencil-Dick's remark, "get a doctor's note to say you're not retarded and can do your job".

Hulk love!

Shieldmaiden's picture

DH is now a folk hero in his company, amongst the workers. Everyone is laughing their butts off. They've wanted to do that for years. 

Rags's picture

with a hostile work environment suit.

Hopefully PD put his 'not retarded' Doc note instruction in writing.  In which case, it is time for him to be sued, fired, broke, and living under the local overpass freezing his nads off over the winter.  Hopefully his nads freeze off before he pollutes the human gene pool.


PetSpoiler's picture

Got a few effs today.

My darling husband, I understand that you hate your job and I would too.  Actually, I do hate your job.  They overwork you, they don't care, management is stupid and incompetent, etc.  That said, you complain that a four day weekend isn't enough.  A month long weekend wouldn't be enough for you so just stop.  I am not your emotional dumpster.  So stop dumping your emotional feelings on me.  I'm not the enemy.  

Eff off again my husband.  I already know how this weekend will play out.  You'll get drunk, talk my ear off, inevitably say something that will either make me, our daughter, or our son mad.  Probably me since you tend to get preachy and I have no desire to sit and listen to your alcohol fueled sermon, so I tell you in advance.  STHU!  You complain that you never get to see us so you then proceed to spend the weekend getting drunk, playing the guitar, and being so annoying that we don't want to be around you.  How about putting down the bottle so we'll want to be around you genius.  And stop with your manipulative tactics.  You don't like it when your mother tries to manipulate you, so what makes you think I like being manipulated?  News flash, I don't!!!!  Stop acting like your mother!!! 

Eff off to optic migraines, panic attacks, dizzy spells, and ringing ears. Eff off to sore muscles, allergies, and headaches!

Eff off to crying out of the blue.  Darn hormones! 

Eff off in advance to my doctor.  I will be getting my cholesterol checked among other things on Monday.  I hope it's gone down since last year because if not he will be trying to talk me into a statin drug, which I will not be taking.  Every time I go see him he wants to throw a pill at me without trying to figure out wth is wrong with me.  I understand that medicine has its place but I don't want to start toting a sack full of medicine at 46 years old.  Good grief, can you at least wait until I go completely through menopause before you start that mess?

Forn:  I don't cook on weekends.  I'm probably going to get chick fil a. I love their wraps.  We're going to my aunt's next weekend.  I may get up the courage to try to make a strawberry cake.  My dad used to make it for every holiday and no one has had it since around 2000.  He died in 2001.  I'll have to call my mom and get the recipe.  I may be crying the whole time I'm making it if I even attempt it.  I know he used frozen strawberries and I think it had pecans in it.  The icing had coconut in it.  It was the best.  I've also taken to making a grilled cheese sandwich on Saturdays.  That was another specialty of his.  I make it like he did except I use my griddle that is on my stove.  It isn't the same.  It's missing the love, as Marie Barone would say.  It will never be as good as my dad's.  I miss that man so much!  

Elea's picture

EFF off to DH doing YSD22's homework for her! WTH? This used to be a weekly thing when Sdiabla was in high school but seemed to stop after SD's went off to college ... until today. I had high hopes those days were in the past. I pray to god that the professor gives her an F for cheating. When I was a kid that is what would have happened if someone else did my HW but it seems that teachers and schools just don't care anymore. DH is doing an amazing job! I expect SD is going to realize she hit the jackpot and will have him do more HW for her in the future. Not sure why DH feels this is a good use of his time?

My DD is sick. Sad I made homemade cream of mushroom soup for her. It turned out great! So much better than the stuff that comes out of a can or box.

I can't wait to start on Christmas cookies. I bought some springerle molds. I am excited to try them out. I can't decide if I want to make lemon flavored or anise flavored springerle cookies?

Rags's picture

noises events.


Eff0ff to idiots who don't know their asses from a hole in the ground and call 7 day per week 07:00 meetings for dozens of people because they think action for action sake is effective in improving asset performance.  The underlying motivator for this is the new Exec Director wants to run off his predecessor's Regionals and has mandated all of his reports as far down as 5 levels be on these idiot moron stupid useless calls.  So, my #2, me, my boss, his boss , and his boss are on these calls with the King DipShit.  Not just my line, but half a dozen lines are on this call. Only those who have major equipment failures say a word. But everyone has to sit on an hour-and-a-half 0700-0830 meeting that serves zero useful purpose.

Eff0ff  to round two of Gastro Enteritis.  Only this time it is my DW who has it. This stuff sucks the mighty member. Let me tell you.  I feel so bad for my bride. She is in the  end of the worst and the beginning of getting better stage.  She was so sick. Just like I was last week.

I'm so sorry my dear.  I did not mean to get you sick.

Even a week after it first hit me, I get a little queezy and have exhaustion events a couple of times a day when I over do it.


I will go with the mom theme with Aniki. My mom works magic in the kitchen.  Always has been an incredible cook.  Since some of my earliers memories.   As I sit here salivating at the memories. WIth DW and doini g Low Carb Low Fat as we melt away, just thinking about mom's culinary extravaganzas is torture.

I probably would fo with her Fried Chicken, Green Beans, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, and Angle Food Cake.  Next her amazing Spaghetti/Pizza/Lasagna sauce.  It cooks all day, fills the house with an amazing aroma.  Then for the next week or so it is spaghetti, followed by pizza, followed by lasagna. Repeat until you waddle like a fat kid and the amazingness is all eaten.  Her home made bread is OMG amazing.  Mom's cheesecake is what I will do myself in with if I ever choose to end it all.  

Her  basic secret... a nearly 70yo copy of the Betty Crocker cookbook. It is the basis for much of her wizardry in the kitchen.  Though she innovates and rarely can give a specific recipe for anthing she makes.  

Thanks for the motivation for the salivating walk down the memory lane of mom's incredible feasts Aniki.