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"Being a dad is so hard..." *sigh*

AlexandraL's picture

Have you ever heard this out of your man's mouth?

I am still friends with my exbf and after having his daughter over the weekend he was saying how hard it is, that he was in need of a break, etc. I know my kids are older than his daughter (teens) but I've been caring for them alone AND working full time since they were the much younger.

Tell me, how can taking care of ONE child half time so much harder than taking care of TWO kids full time? I seriously don't understand.

Seriously, it's always been some sort of little issue blown up with his daughter, they're always worried (well, it is getting better) but I want to tell him to please stop complaining and that it's hard for him to be a dad because 1. his kid is demanding and has been raised in a child-centric world and 2. he's putting WAY too much pressure on himself trying to meet her needs...er, demands.

Are men just the weaker sex or do you think I'm onto something? I wish he'd stop complaining...it really irks me...

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AlexandraL's picture

Ditto for him -- he's really turning a corner. He's got a high maintenance child, a crazy ex wife, and a controlling mother...all three of them work the poor guy/up his ass. Thank God he's finally woken up to what is going on with them and that he needs to set boundaries with all three of them but you're so right...it is a lot of work.

I still love him but man, I am glad I've removed myself from the situation. When I hear "the stories" it doesn't bother me as much since what happens on his end doesn't have any influence on my life.

AlexandraL's picture

I didn't say I was in love with him...I love him as a person and he's a friend. The reason I communicate with him is because I still care, didn't have a horrible breakup. Also, I've had an extremely stressful year (including job loss/victim of the recession) and am in an entirely new town where I don't know very many people...I don't think going no contact would do anything but make things more difficult for me at this point, esp. since there is no bad blood between us and he is around to help me or my kids in an emergency.

Maybe I am dense but I feel people can still be friends even if they can't be in a relationship. I still chat with my exH. I think once my life stabilizes out a bit our friendship will involve less talking but right now I need the support of the few friends I have made here, including him.

Btw, he's not lazy...like many men here he's suffering the consequences of divorce and CS.

purpledaisies's picture

Yep my brother is always posting on face book about how hard it is to be a single dad. It is always poor me! :sick:

Please I was a single mom for 10 years and I NEVER complained I jsut did it!

Men what is their problem!?