OT/The ship has sailed...End of life planning
Ive been going through some depression. Feelings of isolation, and feelings of not being good enough, not being this or that.
Its especially hard during the holidays, due to family issues and the fact that holidays are so child-centric and I dont have kids of my own. Theres even a term "childless not by choice". Egads.
Im getting through it, but some things that have upset me just yesterday.
Husband went on another expensive fishing trip for his birthday. His birthday being veterans day. I did a post on social media with pictures, on his timeline, my timeline, and a group timeline "feed". There were mulitiple bday texts on the family text that I am included on.
OK, so what the heck am I stressing about and am I just making up things to be stressed about?
My grandfather died on his fishing boat. I know that fishing in the ocean especially can be fatal. You fall in and no one knows and its over. This time I was thinking all this, in 10 years its never been a thought. Not a single person in Husbands family worried when he did not respond to bday texts. He had zero cell phone coverage the time he was away Friday until Sunday. His daughters both texted him personally, and didnt seem worried by no response. No one in his family called or texted him personally. Not a single family member responded to the facebook posts I made. His family is LARGE as in high numbered.
This upset me last night. Maybe Im over thinking. It did make me think about what if something happens. I spoke of it, and Husband doesnt want to really make any plans, so I told him Ill make my own plans and they can all go eff themselves if Im going to be in charge of anything that happens to him. If and when. Its always been a sore spot with me, how Husbands family seems to always disregard the spouses and nothing exists outside of them and "the Clan".
But they all sure lined up for the fish he texted about!!!
Ill get over it, Im just venting. I will definitely line up some documents and wills etc. Before the year is over.