I have confronted BF about this several times, including this morning. I've been past my limit and telling him I'm out the bloody door if this toxicity is continuously invited into my relationship. He always says he'll be better about enforcing boundaries and in general it's better than before.... but it isn't where I've always expressed I've wanted it to be.
The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life by Dr. Patricia Love
It was copyrighted 1990, so was pretty cheap off Ebay.
I wanted to share that I found this great book dealing with unhealthy parental boundaries (not sexual incest, just unhealthy boundaries). Written by a therapist who provides lots of examples from her own counseling sessions and is written in easy to understand, commen sense language.