Dad gave me kuddos though. He said himself that he wouldn't have lasted as long as I did.. he would have cracked a long, long time ago. Ultimately he understands why I don't want to see my inlaws... I just don't feel safe. As caring as I know they are... it's really hard if not next to impossible to know the degree of loneliness I feel.

We were at dinner Sat night. My wife, our son (SS-18) and I. During dinner my SS's next oldest SpermIdiot half sib texts him about spending the evening killing ants crawling all over the SpermIdiot's food in his kitchen. He showed my wife the texts between he and his sister.

The text conversation between SS and half sib segwayed in to a a dissertation by SS about the SPermIdiot.

So last year my SS's birthday was terrible, the BM wouldn't look at me and since it was my now DH's turn to host the bday party she invited practically his entire class and wouldn't help my now DH with getting all the kids set up for bowling. So seeing his frustration I decided to step in to help. Well parents saw me helping and assumed I was the BM. One parent even came up to me to ask me a question and I was nice enough to say "well this is his mom you should talk to her" what does she do when i leave to pick up the pizzas?

OK this is my first time here but one of my close friends keeps telling me I need to come here and see if you can help. I have several issues bothering me right now but i will start with ss8. I love this kid but he is driving me nuts! We had a very good relationship for awhile but then he and my bs were involved in a situation of a sexual nature and now everything seems ruined. I will extrapolate on that later, but for background his bm refused to let him visit for many months and has held us (mostly me)responsible for everything. I find that unfair on so many levels.

For the first time in a long time, it's the first piece of goodnews I've received in a while... but apparently my parents paid off my maxed out mastercard that I stupidly put my tuition on.

Yay...

So DH's parents decided to take all the grandchildren on a cruise this summer...bet you can guess the next statement, before I even type it....All the grandchildren, besides my DD. I heard all the excuses, too much money, rooms aren't big enough, too many kids for them to handle (Total of 5, 3 girls all 12 years old, 2 boys, both 16). I was beyond devasted, as my MIL always told me and for them most part, has treated my daughter and I the same as the rest of the family.

I'm really really trying to not become the evil step mom. I known have a lot to learn about raising kids since I don't have any of my own. There are some things though that are just common sense. First of all my DH is a good dad. When we were dating I was impressed on how he handled issues with his kids. He always stayed calm and talked to them about things. Now that we have been married for 15 months Im getting tired of the talks because they don't make a big impact when I feel a big impact is needed. The kids learn that he will give them a lecture and thats it.

Background
married DH and moved into his house with his kids
skids don't have any relationship with me
skids do nothing in the house
my child doesn't have his own bedroom
DH argues for hours about everything
I walk on pins n needles in the house
I pay more than half the bills

I'm so tired of feeling like an outsider. I can't live with him anymore. The house is always a mess. He fights about everything; it's been almost a year and I still don't feel like I have the back up I need.

Great nite! Bm dropped skids off in front of the house and left!

Another day has gone by, and it's been a shitty weekend.

No cash again. But no surprise there.

It was the SD's first birthday. Wahoo. I don't care.

My MiL's birthday's coming up too... yay. I don't care.

My own birthday's in a few days. Like I need reminding of that.

His family probably knows that something's wrong with me, and they want to know what's going on. Everyone is either avoiding me or waiting for me to talk to them.

Too bad neither is going to happen.