HIs Ex is at it again.  Telling my SD that she saving money to get the best lawyer she can get to get primary residential back of her.  Quick back story. 2019 she didnt win primary residental back of her son. So, in 2020 she sent my SD to live with us on verbal agreement.  After several threats of taking her dauhgter back, in 2022 my Husband filed to make it court orderd. The judge granted it.  Its joint custody with father 75 and mother 25 So now that my SS turned 18 and moved to his moms.

I'm feeling really confused right now. I've been a part of my stepkids' lives for over 10 years, and they are currently 12 and 14 years old. To give you some background, I met my husband in 2015 when he was sharing custody of his daughters, alternating weeks with their biological mother. She has always struggled with stability, having been homeless multiple times and possibly dealing with addiction issues. Even when the custody was split evenly, we ended up being the main caregivers because we were in a better position to take care of them.

DH and I cut off MIL about a year ago due to her hostility and constant threats towards us as parents in regards to JUST SS (not my other 2 bio kids whom I share with DH). She has threatened grandparents rights, even when she was seeing SS way back and continued to tell other family members the past year. 

So, this is not me.. but someone I know.... and she is the BM...but wants to know what is appropriate.. boundaries.. etc.. re her Exes' custody time. Specifically.. when her children have sporting events.

It seems I have weathered the long onslaught and come out pretty alright.

Big positives that I want to list:

-camp host job last summer: won the community parade float, DH made deep friends, got invited back for this upcoming season

-in person visits with my three youngest sons (23,26,27) where they all have acknowledged the teenage years and we were able to have an adult moment of closure. 

-BM died.

-DH bought me a small house on the 13th green of a treasure of a retirement golf course resort. I have a riverside walking path, too!

This is probably more of a vent because I just need to say it and I probably have put this type of post on here before and I am sorry if I repeat. .I just really want to understand why he keeps at it with SKs.  SD has been having SO do her taxes and she kept pushing it off.  She finally said she had BM do it. This is something SO looks forward doing with her. He told her that it he was disappointed because it was time he could spend with her. Of course then he starts bothering her about seeing him. She finally said she could do breakfast. He of course pleads with me to go.

We returned from our cruise with SS12 - now 13. It was a really great trip. SS said it was the best vacation he has ever been on. He was able to snorkel in the Bahamas, go on a full island tour, eat tons of good food, and buy several souvenirs. SS and DH decided to buy matching watches to remember the trip. SS was talkative, loving to DD, and overall fully engaged this vacation. SS turned 13 while on the ship, so we had the room decorated and I brought huge "13" foil balloons to set out. SS loved it. 

I have a SD(27) who I had a great relationship with until she turned  around 11years old,  and has made life a struggle since. Recently, after years of not talking, she apologized for payments she wasn't making on a loan she asked her dad to co-sign for and told him she never ended up needing the loan. She told him she declined the money. Well, that was a lie and it's been years of trying to get her to make payments. She came up to visit, apologized for not paying it and said she doesn't know why she doesn't pay it and is going to start paying it, which also turned out to be a lie.

I've been a step mom for a couple years now. When I started dating my partner his daughters were 13 and 11 years old. Now they are 16 and 18. Their mother was barely in the picture. Only came around when it was convienent for her. I had a great relationship with both of them. We spent so much time together.

After the mother saw the relationship that the girls and I had, then she wanted to be in the picture every day. I never stood in the way of that. I've always expressed how I think its important for them to have a relationship with their mother.