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Tampons in the Trash

TwoOfUs's picture

Small vent.

Why, oh why, oh why, oh why...can SD not wrap her used tampons and applicators before putting them in the trash? It's almost as though she places them gently right on the very top of the trash on purpose.

I really don't get it. Being the oldest of 6, sharing a bathroom with younger sibs, I guess I felt very private about it and wrapped then buried everything.

Every time SD comes over and is on her period...which seriously feels like every other time she's here...there are just mountains of unwrapped period trash with at least one unwrapped item perched precariously at the top of the pile.

As the person who typically takes out the bathroom trash, I really don't appreciate having to lift the handles of the bag so delicately so as to avoid contamination.

Having read these forums for a while...I do know that it could be a lot worse. But why do none of these kids seem to have any home training? It shouldn't be my job to tell an almost 18-year-old girl that it's not cool to leave her blood-soaked hygiene products visible in a shared bathroom.

Comments

notsofast's picture

Have your DH start emptying the bathroom trash.

Either he addresses it after that on his own or you simply don't have to deal with it. A win either way!

As someone who empties my own trash, I still wrap it and bury it for privacy reasons. Anything less is lazy and rude especially when in a shared garbage situation, stepchild or not.

TwoOfUs's picture

Agreed that it's lazy and thoughtless.

I was an intensely private child and teen...still am, really. I actually saved empty TP rolls in my dresser and would wrap, stuff inside the TP roll...and put that in the trash. Perfect camouflage...

Maybe that was a bit excessive...but really. Just a bit of paper and a quick bury...how hard is that?

KittyKatMomma's picture

My father raised 3 daughters and a niece-and if we pulled that shit-he would make one of us (usually me since i"m the oldest) empty the trash.

I taught SD16 and DD13 to wrap their pads in tp and place it in a sandwich baggy and discard in the kitchen trash.

She's doing it to piss you off-Make her empty the damn trash can!

TwoOfUs's picture

I don't think she's purposefully doing it to gross me out. She's very 'free' with her body in general...in a way that kind of icks me out...lounging all spread eagle on my nice furniture in tiny, tiny shorts...not washing frequently enough...greasy hair on my pillows...etc.

When the kids first started coming over...none of them picked wet towels off the floor (I have hardwoods!) and would each use 3-4 towels in one weekend. None of them took dishes to the sink. They all opened sodas, took two sips, forgot about it...then opened a new one an hour later (even their grandparents who spoil them rotten and think sunshine spills from their bottoms complained to me about the soda thing once...felt good to know I wasn't crazy), they all threw away huge portions of food and had weird table habits in general.

I talked to my DH about all these things. I installed hooks and told them they were limited to 2 towels per visit, whether that was a weekend or a week. Sometimes he backed me and got on them...like about the table manners and towels. Sometimes he said I was being petty and controlling...like about the soda. But seriously, in general, it just felt like none of them had any basic training.

Just thought about the tampon thing today bc YSD was here Tuesday through Friday...and then on Friday a friend of ours who works at the nearby university but lives up in the mountains about 40 minutes away asked if he could stay with us if the snow didn't clear up. He ended up staying...and as soon as he went to use the restroom I remembered about YSD and her tampons and felt mortified...really hope he didn't think it was me...

KittyKatMomma's picture

ew...I'm so glad I never dealt with that crap.

Tell her she's to dispose of her tampons in another manner-such as WRAPPING THEM UP.

I'm anal about trash-if I have company over-I'm always checking bathroom trash and bedroom trash cans making sure they're not in a bad way.
I have a few family members who would leave bloody products in the trash for days at a time-a cousin who would free bleed and then leave her dirty panties all over the bathroom.

:sick:

Thankfully no SD issues

Veritas's picture

Yeah...I am from the wrap and bury group...nobody wants to see all that!

You didn't say...have you addressed it with her or with your DH?

TwoOfUs's picture

I'm trying to get up the nerve to do so.

Thing is, we live in a 2 bedroom/1 bathroom little cottage near downtown (though that may be changing...put away some $$$ this year to renovate the basement and finish it out more fully to include a guest suite and bathroom...so YSD can use that when/if she visits after turning 18, I guess).

Amazed he hasn't noticed on his own...

hereiam's picture

DH and I had to explain to SD how to dispose of her feminine products. BM never said squat to her about it. Once we told her to wrap them up, she did. She was quite embarrassed!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Ew... I dread the day the skids start bleeding... I’m hoping they’ll be late. I stared at 16... They start then and I’ll only have to deal with t for a few years. Lmao

That being said... I don’t get why they’d just leave it... I know I was highly embarrassed about it all... There’s no way in he!! I’d EVER leave anything like that exposed... Even if I wasn’t taught it... it was all disgusting to me!

WalkOnBy's picture

Ugh - BabyVoice doesn't use tampons, but she does leave her unwrapped pads in her bedroom trash.

yeah, that's a lovely smell. I don't go in her room EVER but the other day DH was in there and he came out complaining about the smell. I told him what it likely was and he got all kinds of grossed out.

I've only been telling him about this lapse in hygiene etiquette ever since she started her period, but hey, whatever dude.

twoviewpoints's picture

When I was a young teen we had a little terrier dog, female. Our family was just me, my sister two years older than me, Mom and Dad. We came home from being somewhere one evening and the dog had went in the bathroom , gotten out the buried and tissue wrapped pad and shredded the whole lot through the hallway and into the livingroom. A gazillion little red and white confetti bits everywhere.

Never gain. Mom got tiny trash bags to be kept in drawer by the toilet. The pads/tampons were to be put in this baggie and then in the lined (with a larger bag) waste can. A practice I continued on for myself and my girls. By the time my girls came around and were doing periods, the little bags came in scents and colors. Rule of house was anytime the waste basket was 3/4 full had to tie up main bag and carry out.

Worked well for my family. No digging down to bury (who knows what other icky is buried in there such as used nose tissues) , no exposed or smelly used products.

blayze's picture

Not sure if she would actually use this, but in my bathroom, there are two trash cans. One regular one and one really small one with a lid behind the toilet for that time of the month. It looks like this: https://www.amazon.com/Umbra-Mini-Waste-White-Onyx/dp/B01N7LKWGE/ref=pd_... You can put a grocery bag in to line it (with the handles out) and she can empty it before she leaves. Smile I don't envy you, chica. I can't even stand seeing my own waste in the trash...I would be nauseous seeing that from another woman.

lala-land's picture

Can you just ask her to dispose of her tampons and applicators in a more acceptable fashion? Just tell her that you don’t wish to see that material and could she wrap it in toilet paper before disposing of it. Don’t do it in an angry fashion, just ask her politely. If this continues after that....then you have a whole other set of issues to deal with.

Thumper's picture

Does your husband have a work area in the garage OR something similar. Put the trash can there so he can see it.

That is discusting and her MOM should have taught her to wrap up her personal items. POOR MOTHERING on her part.

I would call mom and let her know she needs to teach her daughter better.
NO JOKE

MoominMama's picture

At least they are In the trash which is better than in the back of the wardrobe like my SD. But seriously, if she does that then she needs her own small trash bin and empty it herself. If she is having periods then she is old enough to cleanup after herself. I would not be prepared to clean that stuff up after a kid thats not mine - even a kid that WAS mine would have been trained better.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I can still remember the first time I came across a blog related to skids' gross behavior with pads & tampons. I was so relieved to discover I wasn't the only one with a filthy female skid. There have been MANY posts on this subject.

I think it has to do with craptastic parenting and an atavistic drive to mark territory. Children are uncivilized beasties. It takes thousands of parental corrections, tutorials, explanations, reminders, and admonishments to shape them into productive members of society. In an intact family (with normal, sane parents), a mother would teach her daughter about periods and explain appropriate disposal methods for bio waste. Divorce means that each parent becomes responsible for all parenting while their kids are with them, but so much slips through the cracks. And bio dads seem terrified to talk to their daughters about menstruation.

OSD's BM taught her well in this area. The only issue was getting narc OSD to stop blabbing about her period all the time. YSD's mother is mentally ill, and I was unprepared for the feral filthmaker who moved in with us at 14. I taught her how to trash used pads and tampons in the bathroom, but got a disgusting surprise when she moved out w/o notice at 19. When I started packing up all the stuff she'd left behind, I found used pads EVERYWHERE. Under the bed, in her closet stuck on walls, inside drawers with clothes...She'd even put them in the closet for old linens next to her room! Gah!!!!!!

It took nearly a week to clean up her mess. And, I made sure to pack some of those pads in the boxes. They were hers, after all.

Livingoutloud's picture

I once got yelled at by well known former member on here because I was complaining how my exYSD leaves bloody underwear in our hamper (in my past steplife). Apparently well known former member when she was a SD herself left those things in dadddyyys bathroom hamper and SM had audacity to get upset. Apparently it’s perfectly acceptable to leave bloody things out because she is in her dadddyyss home. Yup. Since then I am afraid to mention any hygiene issues of SDs. Don’t want to get yelled at. But luckily my SDs are not gross. My exSDs were.

notasm3's picture

I have no idea who "well known former member" was - but what she was based on that remark was a flaming ahole. I didn't leave bloody underwear in my own laundry basket when I lived alone. Some people are just trash.

twoviewpoints's picture

Not sure which "well known former member" you're referring to, but I certainly remember the horrid things your YSD did. Blood and poop on the stool made my skin crawl and all I did was read the retelling... I didn't have to live it.

Not to rudely bring up old memories for you, but I'm nosy. Did said horrid filthy ex-YSD ever make it out of school/training and become what her goal was?

Livingoutloud's picture

Yes she actually did. She is a doctor. She is exceptionally smart actually so I bet she is a good doctor but she completely lacks social skills and common sense. Both exSDs are Facebook friends with DD. So info gets passed and forth. My DD had a big tragedy last year, she suddenly became a widow, so exYSD came through with condolences. I talked to her recently about something else (long story what it was about). She only recently moved out of daddy’s house.

queensway's picture

You got yelled at by a well known former member. Yes some former members and a few of the crew still like to fight and yell at bloggers. That is what they use this site for. You have every right to complain over bloody underwear in your hamper. That is disgusting.

FMSL's picture

I know this subject all too well...When my SD lived with us full-time, she would stuff her used shit in her school backpack! She also put them under her mattress--not on the floor under the bed but directly under the mattress where she slept! They would be in her closet, just chillin' next to her clothes. They would be hidden in the endless pile of dirty clothes she kept on the middle of her bedroom floor. And even in a hair dryer box her new hair dryer came in...she never took out or use the dryer, just stored bloody shit in the box with it.

TwoOfUs's picture

Gross, gross, gross about the dirty undies.

If I ever accidentally leaked as a teen (because it does happen...you're getting used to the whole thing...) I hit the restroom ASAP and washed them out immediately. Mostly because I wanted to save the undies, if possible.

Teas83's picture

It's posts like these that scare me. LOL. My SD is 9 and I have a feeling I'll be joining the club soon, although SD uses the downstairs bathroom where her room is and I have nothing to do with its maintenance anyway.