Interesting CS order
My male cousin and his wife are going through a divorce. He fought her for 50/50 of the kids. She was ordered to pay HIM CS.
This isn't a debate on if CS should be ordered for 50/50. Just thought it was interesting considering it's usually the man that is ordered to pay the CS.
She does have A LOT better job then him. She is a little older and was more established when they got married. She claims he is under employed (which I may agree with her on this).
They have been going through the divorce for almost 2 years. He started dating a girl a year ago and moved in with her recently. (Again not a debate on if he should be dating, living with another woman,etc.)
GF seems really good with kids, she has 2 of her own, they look "happy" on "fakebook".
Cousin has always been WAY more involved with the kids then his ex wife. Not saying because he is family but it's true. That is why I think he is underemployed though because he was always taking care of the kids while she was excelling in her career. Plus she just isn't the "mother" type.
She was saying on FB that she will have to move into an apartment because she won't be able to keep the house with paying CS, all while cousin is living with GF who has ties to a local millionaire (? wasn't sure exactly what she meant by this.)
Just an interesting story and not the norm for sure.
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Comments
It sounds similar to a lot of
It sounds similar to a lot of stories with gender reversal. Sounds like he got a decent deal and that the judge didn't try to impute some earnings or try to finagle his cost of living because GF may be covering half or whatnot.
I could see this being my
I could see this being my life. I have luck like that. I told DH I would be THAT crazy BM if we divorced and I had to pay him CS. I was only half kidding. I feel for people paying giant amounts of child support.... and fyi, my ex deadbeat has paid $0 since 2012 towards my oldest 2 bios. I still feel for people paying huge chunks of CS
If my DH could have afforded
If my DH could have afforded his own place after the divorce, he would have gotten the same deal - 50/50 with BM paying CS. His profession is much more driven by the economy than hers, so he has times when work is scarce. He also played more of a parenting role to the kids than BM did. She isn't really cut out to be a parent.
Sounds like she thinks she
Sounds like she thinks she shouldn't have to pay as much CS because his GF has ties to money. Typical.
Sounds like they live in an
Sounds like they live in an income shares model state. If a man would pay in a 50/50 situation because he makes more, why shouldn't a woman pay in a 50/50 situation because she does??
One of my female best friends
One of my female best friends was ordered to pay child support with 50/50. However, the father was hiding income. As soon as the "family farm" got an order to disclose income, he asked that child support be stopped. His new wife "had" to get a job after that. It was pretty sickening that my friend was making up income for his new wife. Sometimes the SMs are the witches.
That's because it's not the
That's because it's not the SM or BM role. It's just who the person is that causes difficulties... You can have some awful SM, or in a lot of the cases here (and mine) a terrible human being BM... Or I have friends that are BM's who have totally functioning coparenting with their ex and the SM. Some people just suck regardless of what role they have. lol
Right. That's why I often
Right. That's why I often thought we should make the disclaimer here, "dealing with personality disordered co-parents." BM is an SM, too, and she's had a restraining order for attacking her SD.
The disclaimer is spot on!
The disclaimer is spot on! Lol
Also dang... Some people just shouldn’t be parents... BM or SM...
But if she didn't have kids,
But if she didn't have kids, she wouldn't have had friends!
She is seriously grooming her SD now because all of her kids are gone. Once they figured out they could get away from her, they didn't go back.
Glad to hear a woman has to
Glad to hear a woman has to pay CS!
Yes, it does sound like role
Yes, it does sound like role reversal. I have a problem with those who choose to remain underemployed while their spouse has to work harder to make more money and gets less time with the kids during the marriage- and then is considered "primary caregiver" due to the fact that they spent more time at home with the kids while living off of their spouse's hard earned money, and also get cs paid to them since they chose a low earning lifestyle.
Someone has to work to pay the bills and no one should be punished because they worked longer hours to make more. At least they did 50/50, but in my opinion, there should be no cs- each can support the child on their own half of the time.
It's my biggest nightmare. I think my DH is lazy and could work harder, get a second job to make our lifestyle better. He does not work full time hours, and I do. I'm even considering a second job to get some bills paid off, so I'd be working a full and part time job, while he only works part time. The result is that he gets more time with the child, and looks like the primary caregiver. It will be even more so if I have to work weekends because he refuses to get off his butt during the day. If we split, I would just have to hope a judge could see through that.
Judge will not see through
Judge will not see through that. My DH always worked while his ex either didn’t work or worked part time. No she wasn’t stay at home mom, he simply could not make her get a full time job. So he finally left, judge awarded her large sum of alimony that DH has to pay for 5 more years. Judge didn’t care that she had no excuse for not working. He ordered 10 ten years of alimony. She still only works minimum wages few hours a week. You’ll likely pay him alimony. I know both men and women who are ordered to pay simply because their spouses were lazy
That really makes my stomach
That really makes my stomach hurt. 10 years alimony?? Unreal. Did she file for divorce in this case?
She did. But I don’t think it
She did. But I don’t think it would matter.
The reason was they were married for 30 years and she NEVER had a full time job. She held some minimum wage part time jobs on and off. She was often fired due to bad behavior (confrontation and worse).
Even when my DH was laid off she wouldn’t get a job, he had to foreclose the house and had bankruptcy. He made sure she got college degrees and she still wouldn’t get a job. She refused to work last two years before divorce, he was finally done and said he is leaving and asked for legal separation she filed for divorce instead.
Long story short judge said that she has no work experience no work history nor skills and her college degree is useless hence DH will need to support her for X number of years.
He pays her 1k a month. Well it’s taken out of his check. We think she will ask for more.
Yes he has college degree and professional job but he isn’t filthy rich and he has a disability, which makes full time job challenge at times. His ex still has no full time job, she works 15 hours a week minimum wage job and she got subsidized Apartment. We know from relatives that she smokes pot all day (maybe sells it too) and it upsets DH because he pays alimony so she can freaking smoke. She is trash.
Seriously sick. The woman is
Seriously sick. The woman is smart enough to earn college degrees but chooses to be a pot head and stay under employed. Disgusting. How much longer is the alimony ordered?
Around 5 more years. We have
Around 5 more years. We have been married only a bit over a year. Even OSD (YSD is estranged from her) told her to get full time job, she was bragging to SD that she doesn’t have to work full time. My DH so distraught by it that he had to go see a therapist.
I tell him just stop thinking about it. He worries that she’ll ask for more irbthat something would happen to him and he’d be not able to pay and be in arrears. Luckily we are comfortable, just can’t save anything. I have too much debt and DH pays alimony. But we are doing ok. Plus we are very happy. Crazy ex is miserable. Money don’t give her happiness.
I misspoke, she only has one
I misspoke, she only has one degree. But still. Judge called it “feel good degree”. Heck people can work full time jobs with no degrees. She never held full time job. Amazing