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You Went Without Me???

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 12:50pm

So, SS left for college this week.

OSD and YSD are still in town. DH needed a favor from OSD this morning and sent her a text. Curiously, he received no response. When he invites her over for dinner or some other goodie, of course, she responds right away and stays only as long as absolutely necessary. Lovely. Cannot wait for OSD and her BF to move away forever.

Last night, DH and I went out to a movie that we've been talking about seeing. Today, DH told me that YSD sent him a drama-filled text about us "going without her" and this just being another example of "everyone leaving her out." Um...?

Apparently, according to DH, YSD is feeling like all her friends are leaving her and is very emotional right now. She'll be a Senior this year. One close friend has chosen to go to a special magnate school/boarding school program this year, so YSD won't have her, several of her friends are a year older and have left for college in the past year...and she and SS are very close...so I'm sure she's feeling upset that he left.

I don't know. I'm the oldest of 6, so I never really experienced the emotions of older siblings moving out and leaving me behind. My mom was in the middle in her family and said it was an awful feeling. I'm really having a hard time with YSD lately...just everything she does is getting on my nerves. She's brash and self-absorbed but also baby-ish somehow at the same time...reverting to little girl behavior. Trying to find some empathy here...but it just really, really annoys me that she sent some emotion-laden text to her dad because he took his wife to a movie after a really hard week of work.

Comments

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Thu, 08/24/2017 - 2:23pm

No...they're going to go see it this weekend. Though I'm invited, I have no need to see it again...so I'll enjoy my free time Smile

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Fri, 08/25/2017 - 9:59am

Wow, talk about pandering to a kid and her bitch fit! Well, enjoy your skid-free time! Smile

Peridwen's picture

Submitted by Peridwen on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 1:24pm

Huh. I'm the youngest of 3 and I didn't feel abandoned when my brothers left for college. And right after that my parents left me alone for a week while they went to Costa Rica for some couple's time. Sorry, I have no empathy to share. Just because people move on doesn't mean they aren't available - especially in today's world! Texting, email, FaceTime, skype! Sibling weekends at college! Plenty of fun and bond. No it's not the same but it is part of growing up.

SMto2's picture

Submitted by SMto2 on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 1:56pm

That sounds ridiculously immature and petulant. My youngest DS (then 9) missed my oldest DS (then 15) when the oldest went away to boarding school last year for high school. We let DS9 go to the shelter and pick out a kitten, and he was good! ha ha ha. Maybe boys are just easier.

FieryEscape's picture

Submitted by FieryEscape on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 2:17pm

This girl is going to be a Senior ( so almost an adult ) and is upset Daddy and SM saw a movie without her ?!? Kid needs to grow up , life isn't going to get any easier. I would be embarrassed if my DD ever pulled that crap at that age.

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 2:47pm

Good point.

I didn't read the text, so it could be it was no big deal or half-joking. But it does feel to me, lately, like YSD is becoming more and more intrusive and all over her dad about everything / playing the "little girl" role to a T. It is kind of grossing me out.

And, yeah. She's 17...

Livingoutloud's picture

Submitted by Livingoutloud on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 2:47pm

My exSD was in her mid 20s when she lived with us and she was mad every time we went out on a DATE without her. When we would be there she'd text us to get her ice cream on a way back or buy her stuff etc. because she felt left out. So stupid.

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 2:48pm

Gross.

So glad YSD doesn't live with us. And DH got booked next weekend, which is supposed to be a YSD weekend. Oh rats! We shall have to reschedule (or not).

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 5:39pm

Update.

YSD just showed up at our house unannounced with a hamster that she just bought for herself...wanting to show us and set up its cage and gear. DH invited her to stay for dinner.

There goes my quiet evening at home.

ETA - She's just hanging here, watching a musical (that she requested...guess it doesn't matter what we were going to do), singing along, playing with her hamster...and exclaiming and laughing loudly about everything. The hamster just climbed up her arm and she squealed and said: "Dad!! DAD!! Look!"

Seriously. Is she 8? My DH is just scrolling on his phone totally ignoring her. I wish he'd interact so she'd quit being so obviously, desperately needy.

B22S22's picture

Submitted by B22S22 on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 4:55pm

I was the youngest of 3, and I don't recall EVER feeling sad or left out or whatever when both of my older siblings went off to college. In fact, all I could think of was "WOOT!!! I get to move into the big bedroom now!!"

I was a sophomore in high school when I was the only child left at home. I can guarantee you I was not pining over being "left out" by my parents when they went out and did things as a couple either.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sat, 08/19/2017 - 8:50pm

yeah i don't get it. that works in the reverse as well. couldn't WAIT to get away from my younger sister--6 yrs younger. to this day we have practically nothing in common. I thought WTF when I heard that OSS at the time, 19.75 wanted to move BACK from the city with his uncle to the mothership because he "missed his younger siblings."

WagiMorri's picture

Submitted by WagiMorri on Mon, 08/21/2017 - 7:55am

She's entitled to her emotions, what she isn't entitled to is openly freaking out at everyone as if it is a personal attack on her.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 08/21/2017 - 9:26am

:jawdrop: I was the middle child and both my siblings left home before me... Older brother to university and younger brother to boarding school cause he was a evil child lol......

I could not wait for them to leave and I hated holidays.... so I think your SD is trying to manipulate her father...

so what if all of your friends leave, you make new ones dammit... it's life .....

oh siblings and I still joke till this day about which two should move in together and then kill each other... the other one will be an only child...

wckedstepmommie0925's picture

Submitted by wckedstepmommie0925 on Mon, 08/21/2017 - 9:47am

OMG! This so resonates!
At the time my fiance and I were going on vacation, taking a cruise. We had this planned for years! At the time my soon to be step son the youngest was 14. We still hear til this day "I cannot believe you went on vacation WITHOUT me!" UGH!
I can tell you, even after a Florida "family" trip 6 months later and ALL that we do day to day, 5 years later it doesn't get any better! My SS can be/is entitled and BELIEVES he deserves, his father is NEVER allowed to spend money on "me" "I am blood, she is just your wife" and that is how he views, vacations, dates, presents, etc.! Good luck!

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Mon, 08/21/2017 - 4:40pm

I'm the youngest, and except for one incident, I don't remember being sad that my siblings and older friends moved on. It's not like it was a surprise. I was super glad when my sister went to college because that meant I got our whole room to myself.

The one incident I do remember is when my oldest brother was leaving for boarding school -- a high school. I was inconsolable as he was my bestest buddy that summer before. And I was five or six years old.

Your DH is not a substitute friend or sibling. If she doesn't have many friends, she can join a club or get a part time job or do something where she meets people her own age. Relying on Daddy to entertain her is just silly and immature. Your DH really should address that with her before it gets even worse.