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Summer suggestions

Ninji's picture

Skids (SD13 and SS11) are old enough (for the first time) to spend the summer week on week off between our house and BM. They will be alone during the day while we are at work.

I'm trying to think of some things we can have them do. Summer camp is out. SS cannot behave and will get kicked out. Waste of money.

BM lets them just sit in front of scenes all day. That does keep them occupied.

We have the rule that they cannot leave the house while we are gone. Should we relax this and let them hang out in the neighborhood with friends? But I don't want other parents to feel responsible for them. And again SS's behavior.

Should we allow them to play in the back yard only? I was thinking they could still swim in the pool as long as both of them are out there together. They are good swimmers and the pool is only 6ft?

I do plan on having them keep up on math and reading.

I just don't trust bored kids in my house all day alone.

Another question...How much milk should SS be drinking. DH only drinks soy and SS hates it. I don't drink milk at all. He does eat cheese occasionally.

Comments

ESMOD's picture

Milk issue first. I believe as long as the kids eat a relatively balanced diet, no milk is required. You can get calcium from other sources. But, I might suggest a vitamin gummi daily to supplement.

When we were that age, my parents would allow us to be by ourselves but the rule was always. "no other kids allowed in the home". We could have kids over to play OUTSIDE only if our parents weren't there.

I honestly would play the going to other kid's houses on a case by case basis. I wouldn't let them free range that, but if they clear it in advance and you can talk to the parents (which would allow you to give them the power to evict SS when he becomes a pain).

The pool is a bit complex. Theoretically, if they are able to practice good water safety, they should probably be ok with using the pool. BUT.. other kids? maybe not the best idea to have unsupervised in the pool.

I might suggest you invest in some security web-cams. Maybe one directed at the pool area...another in the living room/great room. You can access them remotely. You also might want to set up a schedule of "check in" calls (via a facetime app) where they have to give you proof of life so to speak.

ESMOD's picture

I also think it's important to spell out ground rules as specifically as possible. Are they allowed to cook? If so, stove/oven? or just microwave?

Believe me, more than one skid escapade was forgiven because the bioparent says. "well, we didn't tell them they COULDN'T tie dye the cat".

I think the idea of keeping up with a reading list is good too. Perhaps they have a bit of parent assigned homework or a little paper summary of the books they read?

Are there places within walking biking distance that would be safe like a library?

I would also see if there is anyone in the neighborhood that could be a safe emergency contact in case they had an issue and couldn't get in touch with you.

I would also let my neighbors know to tell me if the kids are getting out of hand.

Ninji's picture

They are not to use the stove/oven. I'm going to make sure they have plenty of stuff to make sandwiches or microwave foods.

I recently showed SS all the free books he can read online. He was in heaven. He loves to read. There is a park close by the house but I don't know where the library is yet.

Ninji's picture

I have no say over the situation. They are home alone during the day at our house but they are home alone until 2-3am at BM's house (she does have a son that is turning 18 next month. We don't know if he is staying or moving out). Neither situation is great.

ksmom14's picture

IMHO...

- I would not let them play outside this summer, since it's the first summer they're staying at your house alone I'd have them stay inside only to see how it goes first. Unless there is a pre-planned activity with a friend etc.

- I would absolutely NOT let them swim. Yes they could be great swimmers and be fine, but my skids are of a similar age and although they can be very responsible, when they get in disagreements they forget certain "responsibilities" so what happens if one kid is done swimming but the other one wants to continue? My skids would get pissed and one would end up breaking the rule of always swim together, and stay in the pool by themselves. Or if they're horseplaying and joking around and one of them hits their head on the edge of the pool and needs to go to the hospital. Pools can be very dangerous in A LOT of different ways, not just bad swimmers drowning, and I don't know that these kids are old enough be be able to handle a real emergency by themselves.

- As far as the milk goes, I'd say 1-2 glasses a day is pretty standard, but if he won't drink milk, try to supplement with other high calcium foods (cheese, yogurt, calcium enriched orange juice, etc) or add a daily vitamin to his routine.

Overall for the kids boredom, if they're anything like my skids, they'll sleep until 11am, get up and eat something and then play video games for the rest of the day. We simply make them get off once we get home around 5pm so they're not on it all day. Maybe you could do that, and then they can swim and be more active in the evenings once you/DH are home to supervise.

zerostepdrama's picture

Agree... and add a chore list to keep them busy.

Can you also go to the Dollar Tree or something and pick up a bunch of "junk" to keep them busy? I do this with BS. I figure it's cheaper then a babysitter. LOL!

tankh21's picture

I wish DH could leave the skids at home by themselves but they just aren't mature enough to stay home by themselves. We never leave them home alone even if we go to the store. You are luck Ninji that you don't have to pay for a babysitter LOL. As far as the pool goes me personally I wouldn't want them to swim alone.

Acratopotes's picture

I would not say anything, not my kids and not my problem, DH can think of ways for them to entertain themselves.

SS love reading - good if he wants to do that the whole day so be it...

Their ages and staying alone, swimming or not - no problem I was much younger..
My parents handed our chores and we had to to them, if not you got punished, and having friends over to swim was a big NO...... friends could only come for a swim when my parents where at home...

If we wanted to hang with friends, we could leave after our chores where done and we had to be at home 5pm....

secret's picture

They don't need milk. There is more calcium in broccoli than in milk.

Have a list of things to do around the house - could be simple, things like disinfecting doorknobs and dusting picture frames... could be useless (to them) - like taking out all cutlery from drawer, cleaning drawer, organizing all cutlery...

here are some things I get my kids to do in the summertime. They can do it whenever they want during the day, but it MUST be done by the time I get home.

-pulling out stuff from drawers, cleaning drawers, reorganizing stuff in drawer (in the past, they've also made "boxes" out of recycled cereal boxes to help them "organize"... they're stillin the drawers, 2 years later...)
-turning all cans/boxes facing out in pantry
-making sure all bags in pantry are properly clipped and upright
-pulling all hair out of brushes/combs/elastics/drains
-restocking salt/pepper dispensers & sugar container if you have one
-braiding a grocery bag rug
-weeding a section of lawn/garden
-wash garage door
-wash extra vehicle
-sweep deck
-sweep porch
-weed whack around garden stones
-make grocery lists
-make a picnic dinner (on a friday) complete with drinks, cutlery, and games, so that when we're all home we can just go to the park and enjoy
-set up a tent (there's actually one in my yard right this moment, my girls slept in it Sunday night)
-make birdfeeders
-paint rocks Glow in the dark
-clean grout from between tiles
-clean duct grates
-take squeegee to stairs for cat fur
-draw "hypothetical" room decor designs if we were going to redecorate
-draw "hypothetical" house designs if we were to win a bunch of money and get a new home
-and of course regular chores like vacuum, sweeping, mopping, mirrors, dusting, bathrooms, cat litter... and clean the kitchen after making breakfast/lunch...