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Enough is ENOUGH!!!

VENUS452's picture

I can't take it anymore...I feel like I'm imploding!

BM has always been difficult, but ever since she "quit" her job (aka was fired) she clearly has WAY too much time on her hands and has set out on a mission to make everyone miserable.

Recently she's been pushing that SS has ADHD (explanation in another post) and has convinced a counselor to give him an assessment. Then once making the appointments she decided to exclude DH (he doesn't agree since SS is only having problems at her house). Luckily DH knows better and called the place to get a list of his appointments. Boy was she surprised when he showed up. Of course after, they got in an argument about it ending with her "saying" she would always include him. While they were still at the place they canceled all his appointments and agreed to reschedule them so SS wouldn't be pulled out of school all the time. As of Friday she told DH she hadn't rescheduled anything and DH called to confirm that was correct.

Then yesterday DH and I get a group text from her "reminding" us that he had an appointment later that day that both parents and step parents HAD to attend and that it would be two hours! It absolutely could NOT be changed. Mind you, DH and I work an hour away from the town we all live in and that this appointment is in. Her and DH argued about it, he called to find out she had just made it that day and finally calls me and asks if it's at all possible for me to make it. So to avoid more conflict ((this was the first problem)) I gave in and DH and I both rearranged our days to make it to the early afternoon appointment....

We arrive 5 minutes late and DH goes to check in with reception and the lady replies....BM just called 20 minutes ago and CANCELLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF!!!!

Now I realize this is one of those shame on you moments for giving in instead of insisting the appointment be changed. BUT REALLY!!! And her reasoning....her 2 y/o finally fell asleep for it's nap. :O Yet somehow she was still able to pull SS out of school early???

There's not a doubt in my mind that she did this completely on purpose and it caused a HUGE explosion between her and DH. DH was able to talk to the place today and work out a deal that if she makes any appointments that they will call him immediately and he told BM she's not allowed to make them anymore that he will handle it. Not like that will stop her though.

I'm just fed up with her and all of her drama. Every week there is some kind of issue. She is being allowed to cause WAY too much drama in my life. DH and I talked about it last night and I told him I couldn't take it anymore and that something had to change! I love SS with all my heart. I've been in his life since he was 10 months old. I want to be there to support him and sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that provides a constant in his life, since BM and DH are too busy destroying each other. But I think I have to take a step back from this.....I feel very fortunate that DH is that way he is, especially after reading on here what some women go through. I feel like he does stand up to BM more than most. But something needs to change....Or I'm going to end up in a padded room.

Simpleton21's picture

Oh wow! I would be infuriated! That seems extremely intentional on her part just to exert her "control" and cause problems. I deal with a crazy BM also and she definitely goes out of her way to try to inconvenience us as a way to try to show her control. Since I found this site I have been doing a lot more disengaging thanks to reading tips/advice from others Smile I disengage from the SD and the BM. Let your DH deal with that stuff. She is not your problem and neither is her child.

I know this is easier said than done though. The BM I deal with makes my blood boil at least once a week with her crap but feeding into it only fuels the fire and gives crazies like that the reaction they crave! Ignore, ignore, ignore!

yolo222's picture

Sue is right.. they are codependent. These men.... the more I read the more I realize they are all the same!!

Acratopotes's picture

why where you needed at therapy - I would simply laugh and say... BM you are making it all up, SS behaves when with me, maybe you should stop dragging him to therapy when clearly it you who needs parenting classes and intensive therapy to understand DH is not your husband anymore...

To DH I will say - you slept with that, now you sleep with this, time to cut the ties with that or you will never sleep with this again, you and BM just can't go without a day talking and screaming at each other, now get over it and move on or I will move on alone. Go to court if you have to get a CO for a 3rd party person to evaluate SS and get BM to stop being an idiot. Make her understand that she can not use SS as a pawn to control you.

VENUS452's picture

They were never married nor together. One night stand and he didn't even find out about SS until he was 3 months old.