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Bets are On! Bathroom Cleaning...?

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Fri, 08/19/2016 - 4:57pm

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Teenage Stepchildren

Sooooo, we are going out of town in a week (to get married - yep, crazy but true and can't wait...).

Let DP know that the SDs bathroom MUST be cleaned thoroughly, i.e. inside cupboard, inside cabinets, floor, walls, etc., before we leave because it's back to unacceptable. Granted, we haven't had the SDs for 3 weeks - Smile Smile Smile Smile so some of the mess is DPs since he's been using it, but a lot of the mess IS theirs.

The last time the bathroom was cleaned was before we had them for three weeks earlier in the summer. I ended up hiring a house cleaner to do it b/c DP didn't. Yes, he paid for it.

SO - I discussed this with him and let him know that I will be hiring a cleaner again if it's not done. And it will be more expensive b/c the cleaning will be more detailed.
I'm going to let him know this weekend that he has until next Friday evening, otherwise I will have someone come over next Saturday to do it. And he will be writing another check.

Bets on he does it or house cleaner?
(note that he's not working next week AND the SDs will be with us on Monday....-cry-)

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Sun, 08/21/2016 - 10:20am

So out of the blue yesterday DP reassured me the bath would be cleaned and asked if we had cleaning supplies there. "I don't know, you'll have to check." Then he bought something anyway (good). So that's at least some progress...

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Mon, 08/22/2016 - 11:15am

Thanks Sally!

DP may not be all that great at getting sh!t done, but when he figures it out he's great...and I'm lucky that most of the time he'll figure it out. And he's usually just a little ahead of the game. He even mowed the lawn this weekend (first time he's ever done that because...he didn't want to pay a lawn guy!).

I'm not holding my breath and have the cleaner's number at my fingertips...complications are: SDs back with us after 3.5 weeks away (man, that was NICE) and they have a bunch of stuff going on this week, DPs b-day is Friday and we have to do laundry and pack for trip we leave on Sunday. So basically he has to get it done by Thursday.

...And the bath drain screen is still there...held down with very, very strong glue. I won't go in to check to see where all the hair is ending up, whether there's soap in the shower (the bar was about gone last week), and if the shampoo bottle is still empty.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 08/22/2016 - 11:37am

Nope, you solved the problem for him and will call the cleaner. He is off of the hook and will do nothing.

So, what was the result?

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Mon, 08/22/2016 - 11:55am

Congrats! House cleaner. Who would clean a bathroom if you can pay someone else to do it? Especially when you don't have to make the call either.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Mon, 08/22/2016 - 1:47pm

OH, he hates paying people to do things he could do himself.
But if he doesn't follow through on something I refuse to add to "my list of stuff" I will call a cleaner, or a yard guy. He doesn't like it but I simply let him know that "I asked and reminded you about it 3x. You know I don't ask/remind any more than that and it needed to be done."

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Mon, 08/22/2016 - 3:59pm

This method seems to work for me:

I give him about a week or so notice, #1
Then a couple days reminder, #2
If still not done a day before, #3

That's it.

He's using his phone more for reminders which seems to be working.

He's been really good the last month or so (when SDs are not with us).
I think it'll all get chaotic again once SDs are back because he does everything for them still.
How many times have I said a 12.5 and 10.5 y.o. are old enough to figure out their own breakfasts and lunches without help? That they can do their own dishes and clean up? But he won't back off so I certainly won't cover for them - then he gets himself exhausted and doesn't understand why.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Mon, 08/22/2016 - 10:51pm

Well he cleaned it...except for the insides of the vanity and cupboard (used as a trash can and toothpaste inside vanity). Thanked him very well and did add the rest needs to be finished and WHY. I think the man doesn't understand why thorough cleaning needs to happen. It shouldn't take him more than 10 min to finish it (and really SD12 should clean the stuff from her cupboard but that's as you know, dear readers, another story).

There's no soap, no shampoo and no towels hung up.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 08/25/2016 - 6:19pm

Made a deal with DP last night...if he doesn't clean the inside cupboards then I will and he will take me out to a nice dinner.

He didn't like that (he's either spending $ on a cleaner or a dinner he doesn't have to buy...btw we are in full on bill paying off mode so it's not personal).

"Why do they have to be cleaned anyway?"
Because they are DIRTY

I seriously had to say that.

Oh, and my shower drain glue didn't hold.
I'm going to have to do a superglue for it or something waterproof.
Sad

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 08/26/2016 - 4:32am

Why do you play these games? I would have no tolerance for this crap. I guess my bride trained me well. I take care of the things that are important to her. Either by doing it myself or outsourcing it to someone who does that.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Fri, 08/26/2016 - 1:15pm

What is your suggestion?
Hire the cleaning person again?
I appreciate your input so that's why I'm asking...maybe I leave it as-is and hire someone when we get back from our trip...

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 2:05pm

I guess I don't understand why you need to make deals to get your DH to help with the cleaning. Those are the games I am referring to.

However, I can see how the deal element could be fun and take on a romantic spin.

Don't get me wrong. I HATE housework as does my bride. We work it out and find that we have the most fun when we clean side by side.

Try the side by side thing maybe. You may find that DH would respond well to that.

Strip cleaning!!!! Now there is an idea we have not tried. Wink Dirol

Or... outsource it!!!! }:)

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Fri, 08/26/2016 - 1:22pm

And I don't think I'm playing games. I've tried everything in the last two years below.
SDs bathroom and SD12s bedroom and other things combined.

* ignore it (nothing happens)
* do it myself (nothing changes but me getting irritated)
* Ask others (I'm a nag or too clean or something else - so see ignore it)
* Transfer responsibility to DP (he either ignores, asks SD really nicely but no follow up, and mayyyyyybe sometimes follows through - better if he's at least a partial mess creator)
* Paid someone else to do it
* Been yelling mad.
* Been silent mad and disengaged from everything.
* Trashed everything left out or given to charity (SD10 gets this now)
* Trashed everything in SD12s room TWICE. No effect, she doesn't care. DP knows her "currency" and refuses to use it (electronics).
* Finally told DP that I will not ask any longer; if we get an infestation of anything or anything needs to be replaced it's 100% out of his pocket. I will not pay a dime for any preventable problems.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 2:07pm

I guess I don't understand why you need to make deals to get your DH to help with the cleaning. Those are the games I am referring to.

However, I can see how the deal element could be fun and take on a romantic spin.

Don't get me wrong. I HATE housework as does my bride. We work it out and find that we have the most fun when we clean side by side.

Try the side by side thing maybe. You may find that DH would respond well to that.

Strip cleaning!!!! Now there is an idea we have not tried. Eye-wink Cool

Or... outsource it!!!! Evil