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SD pregnant

emilysma's picture

My sd 25 pregnant she does not make a lot of money Just asked dad for help with groceries he is upset that she has a newer tattoo (we don't know when she got it between August and now) I agree we needs to be better with money he just helped her with fixing the car a few months back Being a mom of my own I said 25.00 gift certificate at the grocery store Or just let him do what he wants I do believe he won't do a lot he is cheap and mad I am thinking of the baby

hereiam's picture

So easy for these people to expect others to do for them because it's "for the baby".

If your DH really doesn't think his daughter will do what needs to be done to feed and take care of her baby, maybe he should suggest she put it up for adoption.

My SD24 has two kids, is divorced, and has no job. When she calls hinting around that she's out of food stamps and has no food, DH feels bad and I tell him, "SD can afford cigarettes, she can feed her kids if that's a priority for her."

Or she will go to her mother's, who she is very dependent on (which is BM's own doing).

For years, DH has been telling SD to get a job, have her own money, be independent. I have steered her towards places that will help her get a job. Nope, she wants no part of it. Well, I want no part of being financially responsible for her or her kids.

Indigo's picture

I appreciate your concern for the baby. Perhaps you can encourage DH to not give cash. SD is chosing where she spends her disposable income.

What if you set up a cardboard box in the garage, and then when you go grocery shopping, you pick up one extra item --- staple, canned soup, pasta, lots of good stuff is still under $ 1 --- and drop it in the box. The initial outlay will be small. DH can see his contribution in a very real sense. Then, once or twice a month or whenever he wants, he can drop it off with SD.

still learning's picture

Has SD applied for public assistance? There are great programs for low income moms (and moms to be). WIC is an excellent program that helps women who are pregnant, nursing, and have children up to the age of 5. I qualified for WIC even when exH was in the military. Also check into food banks in your area. Catholic services will help ANYONE regardless of religion and they do no proselytize or preach to you.

Here's a link to the WIC website: http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/women-infants-and-children-wic

GoingWicked's picture

This. WIC will pay for the food she and her baby needs, and the income limits are much higher than those for food stamps.

yakette1's picture

I am new to this forum..... encountering issues of my own, but grateful that I'm not the only one experiencing them and thanks for this way to vent. That being said, I agree that an occasional gift certificate to a grocery store is a good idea. Don't give cash, because they spend it on junk. The only way to learn for some people is the college of hard knocks. I am going through a similar situation. There's always public assistance for people with very little money..... don't be their public assistance.