BM has been quiet last few days, we got the kids Friday and usually she starts in as soon as she's off work which she did but SO did as I asked and just didn't respond and she stopped. He son had a 3 days in a row at school and another one today (his dd is now behaving horrible but she's easier to get back on track) So I followed through on my promise of a video from my baby brother to get a real wrestling video, he's a wrestling coach and SO's son is unfortunately into WWE and it gets him in trouble at school and he still isn't getting that what you see on tv is pretend stuff mostly (he really doesn't grasp it at all)
He actually went in the last week after I made the promise from reds every day (reds are the worst) to 4 blues in a row which is outstanding so were really proud. His dd came and told me she was sorry she's been in trouble at school and she'll be better for us (I told her we like it when she's good on moms time too but since mom gives no praise for good and no punishment for bad I think it confuses the kids)
I think it's helping too that my kids make sure to be busy and not home much whenever they can mostly if I'm not here they get scarce and SO is realizing we're doing so and I told him when asked that yes it was on purpose as it seems we are all less stressed and he has time to just be dad to his kids. He was insulted at first but I think he's seeing it is more peaceful this way.