Step Teen List

Forums:

I was trying to figure out the other day why I feel different about SS than the bio-young men (my grown kids were just as annoying at 16 -how come I had so much more patience with them)? Turns out time and a like and dislike list led me to some answers.

I inherited SS at 14 and I would NEVER have raised him the way he was raised (don't even ask)-he has been treated so differently than the way my ex and I raised our sons-SS is not "bad" yet in the traditional teen fashion -he is just so "different" and I am not sure how to explain.

He has been guilt parented and emotionally depended upon from both bio's-I could never quite put my finger on it but it creeped me out the way my DH treated him like he was a "life-partner"-kind of like how many of you say DH or SO treat their teenage daughters-an example of when we first got together DH and I went out to buy a dishwasher for my then condo-SS was at his Mom's that weekend and when he returned and saw the dishwasher he got angry at his dad for purchasing a dishwasher, of all things, WITHOUT HIM-there were numerous examples and once I pointed it out to DH (and here is the trick )-he ACTUALLY got it-things started to slowly change-it was as if all at once SS was treated like an infant in one instant and overprotected and then just as quickly turned into a pseudo partner-just plain weird to me that mindset...what the heck were these parent thinking-they were both NOT raised like that-do some of your partners do this with their teenage sons?

We are making progress-now just to get SS out of the house -weekends consist of him sleeping until noon or 1pm-then he mushrooms down in the basement video gaming until school on Monday-

I dislike the way SS plays dumb and helpless and DH wipes his butt and falls for these acts everytime-

I dislike the way SS tippy toes around the house and scares the daylights out of me as I NEVER know where he will pop up!

In contrast DH finds my sons (when he sees them) loud, boisterous, rowdy-"full of life" -what you see is what you get with them-SS finds my guys "too much to be around" and mostly avoids them. We blended so late that I doubt much will change-and personalities are just that-

So just wondering if any of you have that situation especially with a teen SS? :?

My "SS" is only 11, and I

My "SS" is only 11, and I find him incrediby obnoxious...always running thru the house, slamming doors (not out of anger, just a very hyper kid) Very hyper, yet will only sit around & play video games! I refuse to let my son get hooked on video games. SS is so overweight because he eats only junk & sits on his ass. And yes, I realize that my son & SS could do the exact same things and I will only get annoyed at SS. But I don't look at him as my kid, I don't love him like my son & probably even resent him a little. I think I do because if any other kid, like a friend's kid, does something in my house, like spill or break something, I don't care at all. I try my hardest not to make them feel bad. If SS were to do it, I'd be livid! So I think in my case it all boils down to resentment, which stems from many different things.

LOL...we also have the

LOL...we also have the mohawk thing in common...SS11 had one when he came to visit, we had scheduled family pictures so I made him shave it, and now that he's back home he has one again. Thinks it makes him look cool. Ugh...overweight, awkward, obnoxious...and no he looked nothing like DH...we DID get a paternity test...guess what, not his kid. I knew it from the moment I met them. My husband is 5'10", weighs 170 lbs. This kid was 5'4", 154 lbs at 10 yrs old and wears a bigger shoe size than my husband. He's so big its hard to think of him as an 11 yr old boy!

Melis/Crayon

Do you ever feel like taking Bm and SO/DH/BD and smacking their heads together?

What are they thinking?-they were NOT raised like this(at least my DH wasn't) -ok Crayon you have a point about your SO's Ex-Miss Only Princess BM-

How blind???-Denial is not just a river in Egypt....I hear constantly how Handsome Zippy is -I am an Cosmetician/Esthetician by trade (work in Military High Tech now -what a career change huh-?)-Zippy, through no fault of his own, looks like a full grown hairy camel (the nose) with acute acne-I FINALLY GOT DH TO TAKE HIM TO A DR.-AND HE HAS SEVERE SCARRING, He now has an appointment with a Dermatologist-may need Laser burning on the face-talk about blinders!!!!-) Zippy is on strong antibiotics (topical and pills) just to get the infection on his face and body under control-took me two YEARS! both parents telling me how Handsome Zippy is-Maybe under all that PUS! YIKES!!

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

LOL..under all that

LOL..under all that puss...so gross! Luckily my husband never talks about SS being attractive in any way. Probably cause he looks exactly like his mother, which in my opinion is god awful looking. She's on myspace too if anyone wants to see what I'm talking about LOL

Your SS12

Actually went to a school dance? Zippy would not be caught dead at a social function of any kind outside of the house.

Latest re Halloween-Zippy, who at 16 gets to decide whether or not he will see his Mom-has blown her off this weekend-I looked at DH and said "You had better get him out of the house for a few hours on Saturday!" We had plans-which I am keeping and Zippy will just have to work around them (I knew he was waaay too smuggly quiet when DH announced gleefully on Monday that Zippy would not be here-yesterday he had that smug grin saying -"gonna have a nice Zippy Free Weekend -I Think NOT!"

Crayon-your kids must shake their heads at your boyfriends kids...

What does wimpy DH say "Oh Zippy-I will be sooo DISSAPOINTED if your weekend plans fall through" WTF???? :O

Turning to me DH says "I just don't know how to get Zippy off that X-Box" Me not missing a beat says-"I call it going downstairs and unplugging Zippy and tell him to find something outside the house to do-like I did with my own kids!