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Wake me up when it's over

Endora's picture

I like that part of the article "What a Stepmother Should Never Say-apparently I am not supposed to...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/01/stepmother.never.say/index...

JMC's picture

JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'

Yep, I could deal with DH flossing the cat's teeth a whole lot easier than watching him wuse out on discipling the SD. Smile

Chel Bell's picture

or, my kids and I.......are they freakin' serious??? This sounds like and article on how to baby your skids, while they run your life, and above all els, spare their precious feelings! NOT for me. Divorce, and stepfamilies have become the norm.(alot of kids are in this situation) so I don't agree with walking on egg shells for the sake of the skids feelings....as far as not even being able to mention what you do with your own kids.?? All I can say is, WOW. "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."~ Randy Pausch

bellacita's picture

like badmouthing the dad and SM, talking about the good ole days when they were still together, telling the kids NOT to call u mom, etc etc etc. it goes BOTH ways.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Chel Bell's picture

and it's ok for the skids to call BM's BF/H daddy??? "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."~ Randy Pausch

northernsiren's picture

I agree with
3. "I'll get it," "I'll drive," "I'll wash it," "Forget about me," etc.

Don't let your stepkids (or their father) turn you into the creature everyone in the world resents: a martyr. Martyrs make people feel creepy and guilty, and when kids feel that way, they generally act out. You're better off being wicked.

This is all about the kids, and nothing about sustaining the marriage.

And what the heck???? Let the neatness go? I'm sorry, but I totally disagree. You can't let children trash your home, or even their space in it. sure, a project, some clutter ( I am not a clean nazi at all!) but it's a basic respect issue, you work hard for your home, and no one should be allowed to disrespect your home or your hard work.

The flip side though is that they should take pride in their personal space and HAVE personal space. SD picked everything for her room, the color, the decorations, curtains, etc. It is an expression of her, and we celebrate that, so we don't let her disrespect us for giving her that freedom, or herself by presenting it as a mess. She sometimes has a sock on the floor, or the rug might need to be vacuumed, but she knows better than to write on the walls, leave food in there, etc. B/c FH WILL put a pad lock on the door and she'll be sleeping on the couch if she doesn't respect the space she's given. It's a nonissue, she loves her room!

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

secondwife20's picture

Is stupid.

In my book, if a child wants something, they need to be polite about it. I'm not going to keep giving SD8 candy if she keeps forgetting to tell me thank you.

I got whacked every time I didn't say please or thank you or excuse me. Granted, I won't beat on my kids, but I will not tolerate rudeness.

step2three's picture

They got to be kidding :jawdrop:

Chel Bell's picture

some crazy BM's getting ahold of this article and using it as ANOTHER tool to get at us and hold over DH's/ BF. Talk about justification!! "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."~ Randy Pausch

Serena's picture

that the date on the article was April 1st?! Surely SOME of these are a joke?!?! I agree with a couple of them, but some of those are the parenting techniques that made our skids brats in the first place!

[Dawn - I've decided I don't care if she's reading. If she doesn't like what I have to say, she shouldn't be lurking here in the first place. I don't eavesdrop on her conversations with her friends!]

Endora's picture

If I show this to DH

It's okay Zippy-no need to clean your room or pick up after yourself-we don't want to make this blended family thing too hard on you.

Zippy don't say please or thank you to your teachers or your boss-it's not necessary in the REAL World....

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

sarahbernheart's picture

so I dont get it???
how does this help anyone but the evil biomoms and step brats??
unfreaking believable .

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

secondwife20's picture

you should write an article about what BM can and can't do. How DH's need to REALLY raise their kids... no guilt BS. How skids need to treat their Stepparents.

I'm so sick of reading these articles about how we should change or what we can and can't do!

northernsiren's picture

from a step mom's perspective, of what BF/FH/DH and BM can and can't say if they expect the Stepmom to stick around to service their brats...

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

sarahbernheart's picture

but doesnt this sound alot like it was written by a PAS biomom??

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

Endora's picture

We should submit an article to Oprah Mag-

10 things a BM can and can't do.

THEN

the

10 things a guilt parent can't do.

I wonder if DH would have been a different parent if the guilt did not get in the way?

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!