Just "Not Liking" them
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My relationship with my partner BM, is just great. We are currently experiencing not "liking" the 13 yr old daughter, her daughter.
I 100% agree with everything my partner says about her, she is lazy, gobby, cocky, ignorant, rude, greedy... blah blah blah.
My partner is finding it pretty upsetting that she actually feels like this about her own daughter. This must be a phase? Will this teen grow out of it?
I am careful how much I say as I am sure all this will blow over when the SD grows up a bit.
Anyone else been through all this?
Oh yes!! It's reasonably safe
Oh yes!!
It's reasonably safe to say it's a phase.
Teenaged girls are a nightmare. They do come out the other end and become reasonable young adults, but strap yourselves in for the ride LOL
The best thing in your post is that your partner (the kids mother) can see it and is open to saying it, she's not in denial/you hate my kid la la land.
That is a blessing for you.
My sd is 12 about to turn 13, and her dad still believes the sun shines out of her. I see the reality
All I can suggest (I have 4 bio daughters - the older two are 23 and 20) is setting firm boundaries, following through on consequences, don't sweat the small stuff. And at the end of the day you (and mum) HAVE to learn to let them go a little bit more each day. That is the whole point of the painful teenage years - they are learning to be independent and for some reason that requires them to distance themselves emotionally from us for a while - it's hard work I won't lie to you. But just make sure the girl knows you both love her and are there for her, and that you won't tolerate shit from her!
Thank you . It is a blessing
Thank you . It is a blessing that my partner is seeing all this and confiding in me. She just feels really disappointed... I am ready for whatever comes I guess LOL
the change was so sudden and my SS now 15 is almost out the other end(I think)
I find it difficult when my partner blames herself! feeling shes doing something wrong!? We are a very tight knit family - so this distance form the daughter is quite upsetting
I dont have children myself so I am quite the newbie too!
Thanks again
Yeah, sometimes kids that age
Yeah, sometimes kids that age aren't very likable. I don't think I liked mine at that age. I remember looking at my oldest when he turned 13 and saying, "Who are you and what have you done with my child?!?" They DO grow out of it but it can take years. It seems like a good sign to me that your partner also recognizes that the kid is not very likable right now.
Thank you for the reply! The
Thank you for the reply! The "who are you and what have you done with my child" is something I have heard my partner say! LOL
she is lazy, gobby, cocky,
she is lazy, gobby, cocky, ignorant, rude, greedy... blah blah blah
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
LOL...The DAY my DD turned 13...she turned into a MAJOR she devil. She was almost perfect before that. It was a terrible year for us at our house.
Then she was just a minor she devil from 14-16. She evened out around 17 and was pretty normal by 18. We are now BFF's. You never would have thought that would have happened if you saw her/us when she was 13-14.
Good luck. Teenage girls suck.
Thanks for your reply! They
yeah! I keep thinking that!
yeah! I keep thinking that! mind you me and my mother still have our moments! But i certainly dont want that in our household - my partner and i have pretty fraught relations with our own parents, so are determined to have a healthy realtionship with the kids - thats the plan anyway!