SD18 moved out a week after she turned 18, and it was 3 months before she graduated. She moved in with a friend and her friend's mom, went on welfare, and used that money to pay the mom rent! Then she left to go be with her mom to work for the summer. There is a lifetime restraining order in place to protect all four kids from the Mom, so SD18 hasn't spent any significant time with mom for about 9 years.

this is the same one that left behind the "hate journal" -- and I found it, read it, and obviously was hurt by it. Same SD18 that bad mouthed me to all her friends telling them I hated them, and saying that I'm "mean."

Now she texts her dad today and asks if she can stay with us for a few days while she comes to town. My DH called me today and asked me what he should do. I have repeatedly told him I DO NOT want her at our house -- at all! Especially after the stuff I found out above. So he gets me all riled up today in asking me (I have an auto immune condition that flares up when I get stressed out, and he knows this). I told him to do whatever he was going to do, because he always asks me, and then does what he wants to do anyways. So really, I have no say.

I did tell him that I wasn't going to stop him from having her here, but if he did allow her here, I was leaving to go stay with friends or my parents while she is here. I won't be here -- so consider that when making your decision bud.

She then tells him that the journal was from when she was in the 5th grade -- so she obviously has thought about this -- first off, we weren't married when she was in the 5th grade, and secondly there were references to high school and recent events in it. So don't lie! I'm not stupid!! I had to remind him that -- it's like he has selective memory when it comes to them, and forgets things -- they count on that when they are jerks --that he will just forget.

Besides, when she was telling us she was moving out (the night before) -- she tells us that she hates it at our house, is miserable here, and has been miserable for a long time -- so NOW she wants to stay with us. Oh ya, and she says, after she tells us this, "no offense." Wow. Really?

Um no. She can go stay with her sister or with her friends. And I told him he could go see her at her sister's house. I said I would be fine if she came over for dinner and could handle maybe an hour or so, but that was it - I did not want her to stay at the house.

I don't know yet how his conversation with her went -- not looking forward to talking about that.

Sigh. I just wish this would get better for a change.