A lot has changed since my last blog.

SD18 has been kicked out.
SD13's behavior improved dramatically the first day and has been consistent since.
SO is becoming a better parent, at least I think so.
Family therapy has started.
DS1's behavior has improved.
SS15 is happier.
BM2 is still a dumbass.
I've engaged again.

BM2 is still PASing SD13. I thought we were getting on the right track. Even thought BM2 was seeing the light. We agreed on a week on week off schedule for SD13 to take to court. BM2 didn't object until she realized child support would most likely be reduced.Now we are back to the same bullshit. SD13 is soooo depressed again because of god only knows what this time. SD13 started smoking with BM2 and GBM. She cut (scratched) her arm at either BM2's or GBM's house. BM2 and SD13 have, what I think, is an unhealthy relationship. They are "friends" and equals as BM2 puts it. They rely on each other to function blah blah. SD13 doesn't have a mind of her own. She claims to want both parents while with us and is usually happy. Then she goes to BM2 for a day and she only wants BM2, there are too many people living with us (SO, myself, SD13 and DS1), SO doesn't understand her, she can only talk to BM2 because SO is soooo mean. Being grounded from tv for failing isn't mean, it's effective.

SD13's grades are coming up, slowly. All Fs to Bs and Cs and one D. She's earning privileges back. She hasn't earned her drums yet, those are being kept until there are no grades below C. Now BM2 is saying that's SD13's only outlet because she won't journal. When SD13 moved in we told her we will never read her journal unless she hurts herself or someone else. Several months ago she cut and was in the hospital . She was claiming it was because of how I treated her. Her journal said it wasbecause she broke up with her semi girlfriend.

SD13 is grounded indefinitely from Facebook because of inappropriate things she was doing. BM2 lets her on of course. SO confronts BM2 and blah blah blah she needs an outlet blah. Have a journal at your house, sign her up for activities, take her outside, etc. We are signing her up for judo and tutoring. Possibly big brothers big sisters too, just waiting for an opening. BM2 loves rewarding SD13 for shitty behavior, it'll never end.

I look at this girl and I'm losing hope . I have no idea how to stop the PASing or have her realize it's happening. Since one of BM2's biggest claims is that SD13 can't talk to us because we are sooooo cruel to her, I thought maybe having a family journal will help. Just something she can list all of the unfair things we do to her (never for her of course) and we can respond.

I know this is all over the place. It's hard to focus with DS1 talking about his book and the cat fighting with herself. I'm just looking for any advice on the journal or the PASing. TIA