PAS to some level, right?
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i guess the day we had the pictures done (before the big 3 week hiatus) my fiance asked SD about school supplies. She said that she asked her mom to take her and her mother replied "i will have to wait until the next CS check comes in".
seriously?????? couldnt she have said "sure we can go a week from saturday" and left it at that? instead she wants SD to think poor mom, she has nothing without my dad's money".
BITCH!
Well, at least SD knows that
Well, at least SD knows that is part of what CS is for.
Really, it's pathetic that BM has no money for school supplies until the CS check comes. But your SD probably doesn't see it that way.
BM over here once made my SD use the $100.00 she got for summer school attendance on school supplies that year. Instead of, ya know, opening a savings account for her or something.
In my opinion, depending on
In my opinion, depending on the age of the child, this is one of those adult topics that should not be a worry for a child.
It might not be PAS but she might be setting her kid up for unneeded anxiety issues.
Although I get what others
Although I get what others are saying here, that it could be a good thing that your SD knows that her dad is helping I also get your point!
It sucks when BM makes the kids think she's broke. Skids always come to us and ask us for stuff and say that BM never has any money to buy stuff and that we have so much more money than her. OMG we have the kids the majority of the time, she pays no CS, drives a Lexus, and lives in a super high end apartment complex...now please someone explain to me how that means she has no money!?!?!
I feel your pain!
by the way what does PAS
by the way what does PAS stand for? I keep seeing it and haven't figured it out yet...
Parental Alienation Syndrome
Parental Alienation Syndrome
BM likes to tell SD14 that
BM likes to tell SD14 that she doesn't have money like DH does because she doesn't have someone helping her. DH let SD know when she told him that BM gets help in the form of CS from DH each month. Poor BM. Must suck to be her.
It is the "poor is us alack
It is the "poor is us alack and alas your Daddy is such a ....". But it does admit that the support exists.
I sorted out a year old pile of cancelled child support checks, signed by their mother, amounting to $3600 (in the 70's) and let the kids see and shuffle them about. Almost four grand was a unthinkable amount of money to them back then and it ended all thoughts of me short changing them or asking me for things child support was intended for.
The added entertainment is i
The added entertainment is i guess their plan was to go to Staples for the supplies. What a waste! Walmart is way cheaper, but thats BMs lack of fiscal sense!
Staples is just as cheap as
Staples is just as cheap as Walmart this time of the year. I hit up Staples during their back to school sales to stock my classroom since they are closer to me than Walmart. During the school year, I take the ride out to Walmart.
BM died in 2013. Back when
BM died in 2013.
Back when BM was alive, SD19 was in her first years of high school, about 5 years ago. She needed expensive art supplies for an elective class she was taking. The spiral pads of drawing paper were anywhere from $25 - $60! Then we had to get the charcoal, the colored pencils....DH was paying a lot of CS to BM for his two DDs, so we kept the school supplies receipt and asked BM to pay her half. She came back with a .."I've NEVER asked you to pay for school supplies! Do you want me to call the attorney?"
Well, school supplies had never COST that much before, as neither of the Skids had entered high school until then, and DH was sending CS that BM was using anyway. The agreement was that anything school-related was to be split 50/50.
Needless to say, BM didn't go halfsies on the school supplies (control freak), and DH and I just let it go. BM is gone from this world now (cancer) and all of her money that she left for the Skids has turned into trusts for their college, so SD19 is covered. Nicely.
The icing on the cake is that DH gets a deposit each month for SD13 since she is under 18 years of age....
Straight from BM's social security. }:)
Why, THANK YOU, BM. Thank you.
well, for whatever bitchy
well, for whatever bitchy things she did while alive, how nice that she at least left them money! and yes, the SS is an added bonus.
The Judge who issued our CO
The Judge who issued our CO clearly indentified in a clarification that CS covers school supplies, clothes, band instruments, housing, utilities, food, etc...... and is the limit of NCP duty to a child if nothing else is stipulated in the CO.
We asked for the Sperm Idiot NCP to pay for half of the kids trumpet. The Judge let us know in no uncertain terms that CS was all inclusive.
No skin off of our noses.
i have to agree with the
i have to agree with the judge on this Rags. my fiance has taken the approach that the CS he pays ($1300 mo) is MORE than enough for BM to buy anything SD13 wants or needs. If BM didnt live for free off her parents and my fiance, and refuse to work, then he might think differently or be willing ot be more generous.
BM makes me sick. there are some BM's out there who truly struggle. THis one parades around as if she's a lottery winner, and i guess she pretty much is. No job, $1300 to spend as she pleases, a fully paid off car (nicer than either of ours) courtesy of my fiance, and zero household expenses.
i cant wait until she's 55-60 and it all crashes down on her. the CS gravy train ends, and she will be totally unemployable, and because she's hardly worked she has no where near 40 quarters for social security when the time comes.
Caly, Generally I agree with
Caly,
Generally I agree with the judge too. Though I am married to the former CP in our blended family adventure it is abundantly clear that NCPs get screwed by the system. At the time we requested that DickHead pay half of the trumpet and band costs he was only paying $110/mo. After the Judge issued his clarification rather than push for the Sperm Idiot to step up and participate at a meaningful level we used the threat of a CS review or moving the case to TX (his CS would have gone up my more than 1000%) to motivate reasonableness from he and the Sperm Grandhag.
Though we did not file for CS amendment for more than 9 years he ended up screwing himself. Every time he tried to get his CS lowered it went up.