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My bf teenage son

lingling's picture

<p>My bf teenage son&nbsp;who&#39;s Almost 14 , act like his 9 yr old , first time I met him I knew something is wrong with him , like his slow or mentally delay , he come and visit or my bf pick him up since he lives in AZ and my bf lives Ca , every time he come he want to sleep in our room for god sake his 14 , he cry cause he want to cuddle with his dad he doesn&#39;t act like his age , he cry when he has nightmare, you can&#39;t even watch any scary movie cause he cry , I have 9 yr old daughter act more mature and teenage daughter act like her age , I asked my bf if anything wrong with him he get mad and ignore the issue , I&#39;m literally annoyed I can&#39;t even stand his kid , am I been over dramatic ? Im</p><p>not gonna change my household if he can&#39;t control his teenage son , he get mad if his dad buy me or my kid something , he even try talking shit to my 9 yr old daughter , last time he elbow my daughter hard since that moment I freaking hate him , I don&#39;t even know if this what I want&nbsp;</p>

JRI's picture

This boy sounds awful.  I'm assuming he lives with his mom and visits your BF.  Here is something to seriously consider:  if something happened to the mom, an accident, a fatal illness, even her running away with a new boyfriend, your BF would end up with the son full time.  If you married him, you would be stuck with that boy.  You'd only be one accident, one sickness away from that.  Please think about this seriously. I never dreamed my DH's ex would give up custody of her 3 but it happened.   Good luck.

Harry's picture

You are going to get this kid full time.  His mother is not going to be able to handle him and he going to either the state or your BF.  If he goes to the state your BF will be paying for him.  Much more then CS

lingling's picture

It frustrates me he won't admit soemthing is wrong with his kid better to handle now than later when it's too late , specially I have 9 yr old daughter 

Peach's picture

He sounds like he is coddled.  I remember back when my SK's couldn't watch a scary movie... ok.... they couldn't even watch a movie that might make them sad.  I remember telling my DH that they will be stunted if they don't learn to deal with emotions.  It is nutty to not allow them to watch a movie that may have sad parts.

lingling's picture

Now his talking about having his son come for summer , I can't deal with that , I have three daughters that don't even get along with him because his so childish even my 9 yr old get frustrated because he act like his toddler , if their playing game on their phone he tell his dad that they kill him of the game , he start crying, it bother me he goes to my room , that my privacy , my own dome , I already feel like I don't wanna be in this relationship, my bf notice that and he decided to take his teenage son back home , also I'm clean freak and I'm not no one made , he insist I have to serve him plate of food ,or his thirsty , I dot even do that to my kids nor my 9 yr old daughter, I feel like he does it purposely , he even told my 9 yr old daughter I don't like you and your mom , he insist this is his day with his dad , I told my bf about it but he want us to be involve since we going to be family , but his kid make it harder 

Winterglow's picture

Stop doing anything for him, anything at all. If he's hungry or thirsty, he asks his dad or gets something himself. It is not your job to encourage this helpless individual. Let his father do all the work for him. Sounds to me that he's insisting on this happy family thing so you'll get all the work dumped on you. Don't let that happen. If he wants to even attempt to have a happy family, he'd better start ensuring his kid is more likeable and less obnoxious.

And put a lock on your bedroom door. The kid has no business in your space. Make it a kid-free zone. Why doesn't your bf understand that you need your own place? 

And if you feel that it's time to leave this relationship (it's not going to get better) then listen to your gut and do it. 

Rags's picture

Time for the ladies to make it abundantly clear to your BF and his toxic failed family progeny that the 14yo isn't welcome and no one likes him.  See how the 14yo likes to hear from others what he is saying to them.

As for your BF, what about this failed fatherr, cowardly non man is so intriguing to you?  Why would you expose your young daughters to this man and his toxic immature child?