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Looking for Reasons to be Mad

lemonlime's picture

<p>So my original post is like... 4 pages long. I wrote it last night after the events and it was very therapuetic for me to vent that way. However, due to the length, it won&#39;t allow me to post it. I&#39;ll try to make it short.&nbsp;</p><p>So, last night, I got into a ridiculous argument with my bf&#39;s kids&#39; mom whom we&#39;ll call Lisa.&nbsp;She started it. She came up to me, and went off. From 0-100. The reason for this petty outburst was that I had posted a picture of her daugher (and mine) onto my FB and she claimed I did not brush her hair. After repeatedly telling her I had in fact brushed it into a ponytail&nbsp;after telling K (her daughter) to shower because I was going to take a&nbsp;picture and because I showered my daughter as well. I wanted them to both look cute. The kids (K and her brother)&nbsp;went on to play on their scooters before I took the picture. K&#39;s hair got messy, because duh. My bf fixed it as best as he could. My daughter&#39;s hair was messy as it could get considering she didn&#39;t play outside and she has 18month old baby very thin very fine ALMOST NO HAIR. She has just enough to put into a tiny pony tail. I posted the picture, Lisa&#39;s half sister (don&#39;t know why the hell I had her as a friend) saw said picture and,&nbsp;for some stupid reason only people who (alarmingly) care so much about looks, sent&nbsp;a screen shot to Lisa to which Lisa responded ridiculously to. Lisa refused to get it through her head that I had tried my best to brush it. I put it in a high fanned out pony tail.&nbsp;(K has very thick frizzy curly hair and she had not washed it as she had washed it the day before). I am not good at doing elaborate hairstyles. I know how to do simple braids and ponytails. All I ever do to my hair is a ponytail that ends up looking extremely wild within the hour with flyaways all over. I brushed her damn hair. I did a damn ponytail. Stop repeating to me that you get that I brushed it but then proceed to tell me to brush it better.&nbsp;</p><p>You see, what I found out at the end of this argument (I just rolled up the window and had my bf drive away) was that what Lisa wanted to get out of this argument was for me to apologize (for fucking what? Brushing her hair but apparently not in a way that was good enough for Lisa?) tell her I understood what she wanted, repeat to her word for word what she was telling me, and agree I would do what she wanted. She literally told me with arms crossed, head cocked to the side, and a pursed lip smile &quot;Tell me what I just said&quot; The absolute nerve of this woman. She may be 10 years older than me and used to getting her way with her kids and possibly her boyfriends, used to &quot;intimidating&quot; others, but to me she is a lunatic with actual behaviorial problems that she needs to see a therapist about.</p><p>She also argued about something that happened 3 years ago. I made soup, her autistic son didn&#39;t like it. We had him eat some so as not to send him to bed starving. I had made it again the next day because there was nothing else and we all wanted some. We had him eat some again, he was crying because he didn&#39;t want any, but like I said we had nothing else. We rewarded him with a carmel sundae after and he even exclaimed &quot;That actually wasn&#39;t that bad.&quot; Lisa yelled at me &quot;He&#39;s autistic! Do you even know how to deal with autistic kids! You need to learn how to deal with autisitc kids! If you&#39;re going to make something new you have to teach him about it 2 weeks in advanced!&quot; This is hilarious. Because even she does not have her life together enough to know what the hell she is going to make for dinner 2 weeks in advanced. I don&#39;t even know what I&#39;m going to make for dinner the morning of. My bf and I even told her, &quot;Wow. It&#39;s like you&#39;ve forgotten you used to wake him early in the morning after he had wet his bed to force him to take cold showers. It&#39;s like you&#39;ve forgotten that you used to lock yourself and your boyfriend in your room without checking up on the kids when they&#39;d stay with you. It&#39;s like you&#39;ve forgotten you didn&#39;t defend your son when you&#39;re boyfriend would get mad at him for rocking back and forth (coping mechanism) in the car.&quot; It&#39;s like she had forgotten she used to full-force punch her pregnant belly and say &quot;I want this asshole out of me!&quot;. Of course, this last part I did not mention. But can you say deflecting much???&nbsp;</p><p>And as for the hair issue. It&#39;s like she&#39;s completely forgotten she&#39;ll oftentimes send them over unbathed, hair messy, clothes dirty, teeth unbrushed, and bellys empty. Nah. But me? The one who tried her best? The one who has no legal obligations to these kids? The one who doesn&#39;t have to do anything for these kids but does so because she wants to? I&#39;m in the wrong? haha please.&nbsp;</p><p>I really think she&#39;s just frustrated with her life. She tried to move to PR with the kids&nbsp;but my bf put in a motion in the court and because it took so long she had no option but to stay. She got kicked out of her apartment because she couldn&#39;t make payments and is temporarily living with my bf&#39;s mom. Shit happens. I don&#39;t look down on her for any of this it&#39;s a sad situation. But maybe she feels she currently has no control of her life and saw this stupid invalid chance to try to take control of me and do as she says. Not today, hon. I&#39;ve decided if there&#39;s a next time, I won&#39;t engage. I&#39;ll let her talk. And when she&#39;s done I&#39;ll say, &quot;If you want something done your way, then do it at home before you send them over. Brush their hair, make sure their bathed, make sure their teeth are brushed, make sure their clothes are clean, make sure you&#39;ve fed them THEN send them over. Otherwise, either don&#39;t send them or live with how I do things.&quot; I think that&#39;s fair, right? I get she&#39;s the mother but as long as I&#39;m not hurting them or their safety is in question, she has no right to oblige me to do things her way. Or am I wrong?&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

lemonlime's picture

I literally just made this account today and I have no clue how to fix my post. I'm sorry y'all. How can I fix it? 

holly5692's picture

That's totally fair. I wouldn't even engage her that much. Seems like she just likes to argue. Unfortunately, the world has too many people like that. But it is absolutely unrealistic for her to hold you to higher expectations than she even holds herself to. You also have a lot more empathy for her than I would have. She's lucky her ex ended up with you. He could've done far, far worse. From here on out, just make sure you have her and any of her family blocked on social media.