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step daughter has been ruining my life for 5 years

momof4ca's picture

<p>where do i start.</p><p>well after being in court for 5 years and having CPS called on me for the 12th time &amp; my step daughter teaching my 8 year old how to twerk &amp; listen to cardi B, i finally lost my shit. i gave my bio daughter 30 minutes on the family computer because my step&nbsp;daughter had it for an entire day the day before. even though my step daughter asked for it again. immediately my husband says of course SD can have it. without asking me if it&#39;s okay. i said no and let my bio daughter have it. i hop in the shower and 2 minutes later hear screaming. apparently SD went in and tried to turn off the computer, called bio daughter and idiot and bitch (mind you SD is 10) and got kicked in the face by my daughter when she was trying to turn it off and take it. my husband of course takes SD side. I take&nbsp;my Bio&nbsp;daughters team. and my husband grabs our baby and locks her in a room with him and SD. why? absolutely no reason. we were having a normal argument. no i didn&#39;t act &quot;crazy&quot; there was literally no reason to other than he &quot;assumed&quot; i would try and take her. which has never happened before. so of course i&#39;m yelling through the door &quot;give me my baby&quot; &quot;you can&#39;t take my baby because you are upset about whatever&quot; &quot;this is stupid&quot; so my step daughter yells through my door with my daughter in the room and says some mean stuff to us. my bio daughter is crying because she wants to hold her baby sister and we&#39;re locked out of the room, with my 4 year old son as well. my husband literally just escalated it for no reason. well, I&nbsp;read a message from my husbands ex baby mama. she said &quot;thank you for locking yourself in a room with the kids away from that evil monster&quot; &quot;if you won&#39;t leave her because your worried that she&#39;s going to take the kids, don&#39;t worry, i have a lot of people willing to say things about her you don&#39;t need to worry just please protect SD &quot; i&#39;m SO SICK of it! his daughter broke her leg while she was here from a hoverboard and she told her mom she was crying for THREE days while she was here which isn&#39;t true at all!! she cried for 20 minutes, i told my husband to take her to the ER and him AND her refused to go. then CPS SHOWS UP asking why she didn&#39;t go! my step daughter WOULD NOT go!!! and now she&#39;s claiming she was begging to go and that i called her dramatic?! i was the one telling her to go! i&#39;m just sick of all the drama and lies that they have been saying. my husband acts like i&#39;m so mean to her, yes i don&#39;t like her, but no i&#39;m not abusing her. SHE LIES EVERYTIME SHE GOES HOME!!&nbsp;&nbsp;i might get upset because she lies constantly and has been attacking me and the CPS calls has harmed my kids because they come in asking where there &quot;bong &quot; is and if mommy is on drugs. i&#39;ve been tested 10 times!!! same with my husband! but no my step daughter saw some weird glass thing (mind you it was literally an antique decorstion) and she claims we let our kids smoke from it. my kids are 8 and 4!!!!!!!</p><p>its BS. this entire thing. i want a divorce but now i have to worry that my husband and his ex are going to attack me???&nbsp;like wtf.&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>also my SD bio mom gave partial custody to grandparents, one of which was sexually abusing her. but we can&#39;t prove it. so i literally have these HORRIBLE people attacking me constantly.&nbsp;</p>

GrudgingSM's picture

This dynamic is completely toxic. The manipulation and cps threats. You're in a hostage situation. You are a hostage.

contact a Women's crisis Center for help getting out. Many lawyers will also do free Consultations too. But you need to make an exit plan.

ndc's picture

What a mess.  Your husband sounds like he's as big a problem as SD is.  I don't think I'd stay in this toxic situation - it's not good for you and it's certainly not good for your kids.

Rags's picture

Paragraphs and white space please. Do your readers a favor and don't fry our eyeballs.


Now, take all of your children and leave the State.  As soon as you land in your new State, file for divorce.  You have to take control of this crap and protect youreslf and your kids.

Do not delay.  Don't tell your abusive husband your plans. Just go.

Good luck and please make sure that your next DH meets a much higher standard as your mate.


Wicked stepmo.'s picture

You are being ganged up on by 3 people. You cannot stay in that situation. They are all toxic and eventually it will effect your BKs. 

You need to leave the crazy and provide your kids with a normal life. 

tog redux's picture

Take your kids and leave, your husband is emotionally abusive.

Take the baby too, or he's not going to allow you to see the child. I hope the other two aren't his. He will file for visits, and get them, but in the meanwhile you won't have to play "withhold the baby" with him.

He sounds toxic.

momof4ca's picture

thank you everyone. he just tells me it’s me. his ex says it’s me, his dad says it’s me, his mom says it’s me and everyone is saying the issues are because i’m mean to SD. yes i get upset with her but she literally causes so many problems in our family. today my BK woke me up saying “SD says grandma is sending uncle over to check on us to make sure things are ok here” and i’m like why would grandma say that to her and why would you tell my 8 year old this? it’s so abusive

am i nuts's picture

Uber the hell out of there.