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DH contemplating getting SD13 full time

motherof3boys's picture

<p>Hi everyone,</p><p>&nbsp; I&#39;m so grateful for this space. Here&#39;s my current situation--</p><p>Ive been married to DH for 5 years and we have two young boys together and I&#39;m currently pregnant with our third. He has a daughter from a previous marriage. We see her about 1-2 times a year for extended times. I know he wishes he could see her more, and I&#39;m grateful we don&#39;t. Overall, she is a pretty good kid; however, her BM doesn&#39;t really set boundaries as far as screen time and eating goes. She is basically on her phone ALL the time and is either borderline or just obese. Every time we have seen her, she has gotten bigger. Exercise is a huge part of my husband&#39;s life and I know it is hard for him to see his daughter this way. Trying to involve BM in the process is futile because she&#39;s overweight too and eating healthy doesn&#39;t seem to be a thing with her.</p><p>Anyway, SD is currently visiting now and he&#39;s brought up the idea of her staying with us full-time in the future if the opportunity comes up. The fact that he brought this up devastates me. He was a bigger kid when he was younger and believes he can help her with her weight. For selfish reasons, I don&#39;t want her to live with us full time especially when we will have 3 kids of our own.&nbsp;The idea of it is actually really depressing for me. I would feel like a guest in my own home as I&#39;m sure she would too.&nbsp;We got into a big argument and I understand it&#39;s not what he wants to hear, but I don&#39;t want him thinking I&#39;m ok with it. I also don&#39;t know if her coming to stay with us is really the best thing for her. She will be away from her mom and her friends, and she will ultimately be spending the most time with me.</p><p>I don&#39;t want to live in this constant fear of the day it&#39;s decided she will come live with us.</p>