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Locked herself in her mother's house

RisingtheWave80's picture

Since SD12 didn't want to deal with Dad being mad at her for an out of school suspension last week she locked herself in her mother's house (BM already left) which lead to her sending text for him to leave and she wasn't coming with us. Well BM had to drive 45 minutes back home to unlock the door so she would come with us. 

Today being Tuesday, BM is traveling for work and SD is supposed to be at our house. I just got home from work and notified my SO that his daughter is NOT home. Looks like she went to her mom's again and is trying to avoid her dad. BM cancelled SD's therapy session which after the talk I had with my SD on Sunday and an out of school suspension last Thurs and Friday and in school yesterday she may need more than not. Le Sigh.... I think I'm gonna be done trying to help SD if she just keeps pulling this crap. She doesn't understand how much I have her back and how much I tell her father not to give up on her. She had been dealing with a lot but she is spiraling right now.

blueskies4me's picture

You are childfree.

Disengage ASAP. Not your kid nor your problem. You don’t seem to want biokids, why the hell would you expend mental energy on some kid that’s not your responsibility? 

RisingtheWave80's picture

I suppose I struggle with the how to support her father without also somewhat being involved. I say I'm Sweden because I'm just an adult in the house but I hate seeing my SO struggle when the BM let's all hell go loose and we have SD 2-3 per week

Rags's picture

Until either her mother, her father or both of them put their collective foot up this kid;s butt.... there won't be any change.  Your foot is only big enough to motivate this toxic crotch nugget if you get very pointed and brutal in bringing a life of abject misery down on her.  But... if your DH and her mother don't stop allowing her to run back and forth when the heat goes up even  your most painful consequences won't work.

RisingtheWave80's picture

Apparently SD12 decided she didnt want to go to therapy anymore, so both SD and BM lied to my SO about her having other events to attend. I feel for my SO because his ex undermeans everything thing he tries to set in play that will help his daughter. He is about to give up all together, which I keep encouraging him not to because left to BM's decisions his daughter will be SOL. I wonder should I keep encouraging him not to give up? I know not having his daughter in his life would pain him horribly but she is really putting him through a lot of shit. I spent about an hour talking to SD last night, she and I get along and I feel like I am Sweden, I really try to come from a place of kindness and love to get her to understand because she does respect me. But I am so disappointed in her actions as of late