BD22 is on the road as I type this for a 2 week visit. I'm excited about this, because BD22 and I have become very close now that she is an adult, and I can transition from being parent to best friend.

Problem is, the way SD14 is acting, BD22 will NOT put up with it! BD22 will not hesitate to say something. She noticed last visit how SD14 was acting, and would ask me in private, "Why does dad let her get away with that crap? He would never let me or my brother do/say that?" (Legally, my kids are SD14's half siblings, since DH adopted my kids.) If BD22 says anything, SD14 will get all bent out of shape, whine to DH, etc...you can see the picture.

Even worse, I took a couple of days off next week to spend with BD22. She is going through some relationship stuff, and work has been ticking her off, so I figured it would be good to have some girl time as we talk over clothes, coffee, lunch, etc. I KNOW that SD14 is going to beg to come, but I want to give BD22 an environment where she will feel free to talk, and I know little prying ears are NOT what she needs. Not to mention, I will spend the entire time telling SD14 "No" because she feels every shopping trip means that whoever she is with has to buy her something, and if it is me, she will has for A LOT of stuff without any regard to budgets! I don't want that kind of stress as I spend time with BD22. But I know if I say she can't come, she will whine to DH, who will say that I'm leaving her out, and insist that I take her. He doesn't get that BD22 need alone time with me to talk about the stuff going on her life...ADULT stuff that SD14 does not need to be part of! SD14 also needs to understand that she doesn't need to be in the middle of everything. She's the youngest, she gets to go on all kinds of outings as the only kid because BD22 lives out of state, and BS18 is at work, or at stuff for football. She can live without going on my outing with BD22, and DH needs to make her understand that.

It isn't like BD22 isn't going to spend any time with SD14. BD22 is already planning a "sisters" day. We are also going to Six Flags as a family next weekend...a trip I was dreading until I came up with a plan. See, any outing like that, SD14 tries to make all about her, and begs DH to buy her this and that which he usually gives in to, and we end up spending half or more of the trip budget on SD14. NOT THIS TIME! I already have a plan. I'm going to take some cash out of the bank, and give each of the kids (my adult kids, too) an equal amount of money, and tell them that is their money for fairway games, gifts, and snacks outside of normal meals. When that money is gone, it's gone! I'm going to do this in front of DH so he understands that he is NOT to give in to SD14 begging for stuff...she is getting the same amount as the other two from us, and that is that. The other two are adults, and if they want to buy extra stuff with their own money, that is their money that they worked hard for, and that does not mean we have to match whatever they spend on themselves with SD14! Maybe if she would do things like, um, chores, she would have extra.

Here's to hoping for peace in the house the next two weeks! But I'm super happy that I get to spend time with BD22!