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DarlingMom28337's picture

Hi there! I'm wondering if anyone has any insight or has experienced this before. My husband and I, our kids and my stepson are covered under my insurance through my employer. His insurance is a very limited plan and this is why we opt for mine. BM abandoned stepson with us 8 years ago and custody was amended to joint custody with my husband having sole physical. He and his ex were never married. BM went no contact for over a year and her parenting time was suspended. She just recently obtained visitation back in November 2018 and has used every opportunity available to torment us and try to alienate SS from us and his brothers. She is now asking for my insurance information and all of the doctors SS sees. I feel that she should not be able to obtain my insurance information, since she is not a plan member, and because it is in my name, not my husband's. My husband called the courts who said she can ask, and they can send a lettee asking us to give it to her, but we are nor required to do so and there is no law stating we have to. If she seeks medical treatment for him, it would be at her own expense, and then she could seek reimbursement just like we could for unreimbursed medical expenses. The thing is, he has always gone to the doctor, dentist and vision doctors. He has actually already been to all three this year for checkups and for treatment. She has no reason to use my plan and hasnt needed to in almost a decade. He has always been on my insurance. I'm wondering if this has happened to anyone else, and if she does try to take him in for (unnecessary) treatment (because she is spiteful and a hypocondriac)...will the provider bill me as the guarantor, or her as the one seeking services? She is 32 years old, living off section 8 housing, food stamps, government medical insurance and disability for mental health issues. She is also a drug addict and is addicted to opiods. 

DarlingMom28337's picture

Forgot to mention, she is known for abusing medicaid for prescription pain medications in the ER. 

DarlingMom28337's picture

I've considered that but that would just punish us because we are his primary caregivers and pay everything. She is a lowlife and does not pay a penny of anything. I'm thinking we may have to file a motion in court to add specific language to the order regarding medical treatments and insurance. Thank god he will be graduating in just a few short years. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Take WE out of the equation. He has a mother and you aren’t her. Your husband needs to pay for his prior spawn, not you. From your previous post your stepkid is an ahole and lazy, irresponsible etc. I’m ASSuming you have a kid or kids of your own. Focus on them, that is your moral and financial obligation.

DarlingMom28337's picture

Yeah, I wish it was that simple. Unfortunately our household income is together and we have to consider all expenses in our budget. It would be much easier if it was not that way. 

SteppedOut's picture

The providers aren't supposed to bill you, but they will if she puts your name (or your husband) down as the person responsible for the bill. Then you will have to call, go in, etc to try and get them to change it. 

My ex-husbands ex-wife did that to me, at several different providers, but listed her address (my name). I didn't find out until a bunch of past due bills hit my credit report. It was hell getting them off. 

twoviewpoints's picture

Simply tell her no. She solely has visitation and no legal custody.She doesn't need insurance info and she really has no rights to have the kid treated for anything medical. 

Routine medical care and appointments his father sees to. In the evident of a sudden need during BM's visitation she should be calling his father. 

tog redux's picture

She has joint custody, per the OP. Why he didn’t get sole custody, I can’t imagine.

DarlingMom28337's picture

He took bad advice from the attorney that just wanted the case to end. He also hates being in court and has a panic attack nearly every time because the courts are bias towards men in our state. She can do no wrong. She can shit on her son and rake him thrpugh the mud and they would clap for her. Thank God it will all be over in 2-3 years. 

tog redux's picture

Yeah - well, we all get that.

If she has joint custody, though, isn't she entitled to information about his health insurance in the event she does need to take him to the doctor? I'm not clear on what harm it will do if she has that. 

She can't call and get information about you.  But if you aren't comfortable with it, the only option is to take him off your plan and put him on DH's sub-optimal one and make him pay more.


Cover1W's picture

"My husband called the courts who said she can ask, and they can send a lettee asking us to give it to her, but we are nor required to do so and there is no law stating we have to."

Then don't give it to her. If your DH has legal custody and there is no reason for her to take him to a doctor, don't. Unless you get a formal letter refer to great comment above for language of the no. 

I would recommend skid not being on your insurance normally (my bad experience with that as a learning lesson) but since your DH has the sole deciding power then I would be ok with it. So long as he doesn't give info out against your wishes 

Rags's picture

Don’t give her your insurance information.  We would send a copy of my SS’s insurance card with him on SpermLand visitation.  He was always on my insurance.  

When he got a rusty fishhook in his leg on a SpermClan camping trip SoermGrandHag took him to the ER (long story) and listed me as responsible party.

We battled her and the hospital over that for two years.

Share nothing with the BM.