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Feeling powerless

indigofish911's picture

Submitted by indigofish911 on Sun, 04/27/2014 - 12:45pm

Forums: 
Co-Parenting

Hi,
I'm having a difficult day today, feeling especially powerless in my role as a step-parent. My wife and her ex have joint legal custody of my SS but the ex has primary physical custody. I'm just getting so tired of my wife avoiding speaking up to her ex because she doesn't want to rock the boat. Some of the things are simple things that could be addressed with a simple text message, but of course there's the bigger things too. It's just so frustrating because I feel like I have no control. I just wish she was a little more hands-on in her parenting and would follow through with doing what she says she is going to do.

If anyone can commiserate with me I'd appreciate it.

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Sun, 04/27/2014 - 1:17pm

Not much commiserating going on here. You've discovered that step-parents are the helpless of the helpless. It will be far better if you let your significant other (SO) deal with her child and not let it play havoc with your relationship also.

I see your in a lesbian relationship with the child in question hundreds of miles away both of which make your situation especially precarious and I'm sure the ex-husband is especially interested in keeping you out of the picture as much as possible.

Against these insurmountable odds the best you an do is support your SO and let her deal with the situation directly for good or for bad. There may be components in her relationship with her ex you're not aware of or she may simply have a more subservient personality than you. You engaged in this relationship because of traits you admired and she comes as a complete package.

I hope these words aren't too harsh nor too trite but are of some help in seeing the overall situation.