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Co-parenting with (great) grandma, not BM

Aquamarine15's picture
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I first want to start off by saying SO relationship with BM is rocky at best and due to her continued disrespect of myself and our relationship, I am very apprehensive about anything dealing with her, SS and their family.

For the most part SO has little to no contact, they are barely able to co parent and communicate. Some of that is due to the fact that BM drops SS and his sister off at her grandmothers house, their great grandmothers home for the majority so she wouldn't be knowledgeable because she simply isn't around, think getting on the same page with potty training etc. When things arise that SO should be talking to her about, he has to talk to GG. 

Some of my issue comes from my feeling that there are no boundaries between him and her family. GG will call him bc SS isn't listening etc., basically the old "if you don't stop acting up I'll call your father routine" but for some reason I feel at the very least it's inappropriate or crossing a boundary. You have your granddaughters children, call her. Just like if his mom was watching SS she wouldn't be calling BM, she would be calling SO.

Maybe I'm looking at things the wrong way or only from my POV. If it's not an emergency, then GG shouldn't be calling. 
 

Perspective?

 

tog redux's picture

If BM won't parent, and GG can't parent and needs SO's help, then SO should have full custody.  Frankly, he should have full custody just because she's dumping the kid on GG for her custody time (I assume this isn't just child care for work, but BM not wanting to deal with the kid at all).

Rags's picture

smh

The oddities that arise in blended family situations can be mind boggling.  An idiot bio parent dumping their child(ren) off on a great grand parent is certainly one of the mind boggling examples.

My mom would never say no if one  of her GKs did this but I sure would nip that crap in the bud in a heartbeat by delivering the GGK to their own parent regardless of where that parent was.  I would not tolerate my kid or my brother's kids taking advantage of my parents.  That BM's own mom does not put her foot up this BM's ass for taking advantage of her own mother I suppose should not be surprising considering that BM's mother is the one that polluted the human genome with her own idiot daughter and tolerated this toxic BM to become the user that she is.  I suppose GGM did the same with her own daughter so maybe on some level GGM is suffering the consequences of her own parenting idiocy.

smh... again.