He just calls me Confusedsm03. When he was younger a few mama's slipped out but I told DH that I know his mother would not appreciate that and we should reinforce my real name. I guess bc I see my role in the involvement of SS as minimal at best, I wouldn't want any mother title unless I was given more from DH and SS regarding SS.

I'm called by my first name, SD asked to call me "mommy" Simifan. But we wouldn't allow it. BM would flip her wig, if she found out I was called that, even though she was made to call her stepfather "Daddy ..."

BTW, stepdad's current, nicest name is "Him".

mine call me by my first name. they call their sdad by his first name too.

Mine has called me Mom since the weekend we got married - his BM knows - some say you should not let them call you mom but since I was adopted my view of parents are different than others. When he asked me if he could call me Mom I said yes sometimes when he has been disrespectful I wish he would not call me Mom (I loved and respected my mother and would never have treated her like he has treated me at times) but it works for us and thats all that matters.

So it has to be what works for your family and not what others do or what they say -

My skids just call me by my name. But, they're 10 and 12. They were 7 and 9 when we started dating. Personally, I would not be comfortable with them calling me Mom. They have a mom.

Also, although, my bio-kids are pretty much grown now (youngest is 18, senior), we have been divorced for 10 years and if my ex had remarried and my kids called some other woman "mom" - it would have bothered me.

If I'm dead - it's okay.

DH is called by his first name and I am by mine. DH and BM have in their original CO that no one other than them can be called MOM or DAD. I would not be comfortable any other way. We do refer to DH as Dad for BS16. But, he is not called it by name. His father is deceased. My son feels it is disrespectful to his real father.

Sometimes it seems strange to me that I make my children address other adults as Mr. and Mrs. So and so yet the skid and my DD refer to the adults in our house by our first name. Sometimes my DD will call DH "Papa DH". Also sometimes with friends, she will refer to him as just her Dad. We leave it open ended for her as her bio dad is a failure at life and doesn't deserve any respect. SS half the time calls DH Mom bc he gets so confused about where he is or who he is with (which is why I disagree with the custody set up. I know SS has told DH that he has 2 dads as BM has a live in boyfriend. I disagree with that completely as her boyfriend is STILL married to his wife and hasn't even proposed marriage to BM yet. I think sometimes it does more harm than good to these children when the kids are young and BM is trying to pretend to be a "happy family". I say, if the kid is old enough to understand and they are comfortable with it (and the Step is ok with it), then good for everyone involved.

They call me by my first name, but once i went to pick them up from school and his friends said who is that and he said smiling oh thats my stepmom and my little brother (me and dh son)

So i felt great, I would have felt bad if he would have said nobody "That's just ...."

They have gotten so much better "THANK GOD"

SS calls me by a nickname. My real name is difficult for young kids learning to speak to pronounce and when DH and I started dating he was 1. He would TRY to call me by my name, but it came out sounding completely different and is just a jibberish word, and it stuck. He is 8 now and still calls me by that nickname. When he is talking ABOUT me to someone (like telling his friends who I am at school) he says this is my OTHER mom. When BM introduces me, she tells people I am his stepmom unless she is talking to kids, then she says "other mom". Once SS was in the hospital, he was in getting xrays and both of us were with him. The xray tech asked who mom was and BM said "we are". She gets it, that I am a "mom" to him too, but I think it settles better with her because he doesn't actually CALL me MOM, but a nick name. The only thing that bothers me is when BM calls me by that nick name, which is 90% of the time when she talks to me. That name is reserved for SS, and DH corrects her every single time. Don't call her that, she has a name.

My step kids(9 & call me "Miss _____" my daughter (10) calls my husband "Mr. _______" but my son who is 14 calls my husband by the nick name I use. My husband says its because at the start of the relationship he actively tried to be my sons friend. I insisted on being called Miss _____ because when I met his boys they had zero respect for adults and authority. On one of the earliest occasions I can remember his boys being in my house, I told the oldest who was 5 at the time "in my house we say please and thank you" he replied to me "I am not your servant." He was 5 years old!!!! I decided then and there I was going to have to take the "teacher" respect on in our relationship. I don't expect to ever replace their mom, but I would like to be respected and remebered the way you would a favorite teacher. My kids call their step mom by her first name, which is fine if that is how my ex wants it. I did get rubbed a little raw when I saw on her face book page my children listed as her children, my ex would have to been a cradle robber for her to be the mother of my son, but you know I try not to sweat the small stuff, and I don't want to interfere in them having a healthy relationship with her.