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SS14 following DW around the house like a little puppy

Java_Junkie's picture

He also shares cutesy little "pet names" with her. He calls her stuff like "Guppy" and "Gup-gup" and "Fish-butt" and some genuinely strange stuff; she calls him "Diggy," which I honestly don't even know what that's all about.

It's absolutely ODD.

SS starts saying this pet name, repeating it in different voices, in about 3-5 second intervals. "Guppy.... Gup-guuuuup. GuppPAYYY... Guppity-guuuup... Guuuuuuuuppppyyyyyyy...Guppy... GUUUUUUP..." SO ANNOYING. Drives me f'in' crazy.

I started to razz him about it, and he got pouty and went to his room. DW asked me to apologize, so I went back there... "Hey, man, did I hurt your feelings?"

"NO."

"OK, well... I didn't mean to, but if I did, I'm sorry."

"You didn't." Eh, well, he was acting all wounded, though I am sure he *at least* became a little self conscious. He does need to be aware he's being annoying to the rest of us who are trying to have conversations or watching TV or doing other things and don't want to hear him being louder and distracting, etc. It's childish as Hell...

But the real laugh is how DW told me how SS14 and SD13 came back from their dad's place, and how he and his wife call each other "pookie." They think it's schmaltzy and stupid, etc... yet, DW and SS do this??

And when she goes outside, he jumps up and follows her... when she goes into the kitchen, he either follows her or asks her what she's doing and if she's going to be in there more than a minute, he jumps up and goes in there... if she's going somewhere in the car, SS wants to come along... I feel like getting a crowbar to separate them LOL. If she stopped suddenly, he'd be up her back side. So odd...

I've had times when I said, "Awwwww, you two make such a cute couple!" Maybe I'm a little jealous; but definitely, I'm disturbed by the Oedipus style they seem to have. 

Am I being mean for teasing him about this? I suppose it'd be mean if the intent was to make him feel like less of a person (which it's not), though THIS BEHAVIOR is something I'd be happy to see him grow out of, and I know he won't if he doesn't see HOW STUPID IT SEEMS TO EVERYONE BESIDES THE TWO OF THEM. Not to mention, how rude it is to me, when I'm having a conversation with DW, and he walks in, "Guuuuppppay.... Gupsterrrr..." and takes all attention away from our conversation. Makes me mad because she won't shut him down from interrupting because, I presume, she thinks it's cute when he does this.

I know 95% sure that he does this because he likes being her favorite so he doesn't have to do ANY chores around the house. And believe me, he doesn't do SQUAT. I mention it, and she says "He cleans his room!" And I think, uhh, that's HIS room... and, NO, YOU go in and start cleaning and tell him to do this and do that while you clean. Any time I point it out, she gets pretty defensive...

Maybe I just need to go on a nice, long business trip. Till then, disengagement will continue. When Thing 1 walks in the room and interrupts, if she doesn't stop him, I'll terminate the conversation and leave the room. I won't buy any more groceries. I'm not Uber. I won't "have their backs." And like I say, Christmas card with a $10 bill. "Enjoy your holidays, roomies!"

Step-girlfriend's picture

Sounds like your DW has a dependant mini-husband! And no chores? That sounds like a great way to help him become a self-sufficient teen/young adult!

I had to stop the skids interrupting thing. I could. not. take it anymore! And my SO was oblivious to it. I nicely said, hey guys, it's not polite to interrupt- if someone is talking you need to wait your turn. Now if they do it, I just give them a look or hold up my hand and keep talking. They completely get it and don't say a peep until I look at them and say, ok, what's up? It's actually rarely an issue now though.

Can you try the same strategy? Even with the f'ng gup-gup guppity gup. After you tell them they need to be polite about interrupting, if he continues to do it, just give him "the look", and hold up your hand or make a sort of "keep it down" motion. Unless he's dense, he should get it.

 

 

Java_Junkie's picture

Yeah, I feel like the household maintenance manager and Custodian To The Stars.

He pops it off as he's walking in and sucks all the oxygen out of the room. I've taken to just stopping mid-sentence and walking out of the room. DW says I'm overreacting, but I explain, "Well, if you want to continue the conversation, let me know. To be honest, I doubt that after the distraction, either of us can remember what I was saying, so clearly, it wasn't important. Can you remember?"

Letti.R's picture

Oh lawd, I could not even read to the end of this blog.
Someone should tell both DW and SS to grow up!
The behaviour is vomit inducing to read - how much worse  to actually experience it?

Java_Junkie's picture

That's just it. DW is gaslighting me and telling me it's not a problem. Really, I know that all he's doing is being cutesy so he doesn't have to do any chores. It doesn't work with me, so DW thinks I'm a hardass. No, just keeping the boundaries where they belong.

Rags's picture

My mother would have barfed on my shoes if I had done that crap at 6 much less 14.  My dad.... he would have sat me down for a serious discussion. We did not accept it and we required him to act his age.  If he chose differently, we applied consequences. If he couldn't ask for some thing and instead pointed, grunted, and cried, he didn't get it.  Usually it was about food or drinks. He starved or was thirsty until he pulled his head out of his ass and asked appropriately. 

smh

With SS... we didn't have the baby regression crap much after he was about 8yo. That usually started about a week before he departed for a SpermLand visitation when  his behaviors would start to degrade.  We would then have post visitation behavioral detox for about 10-14 days after the SpermClan polluted him with their usual bullshit.

Your DW is going to have to sit him down, show him that he has balls, and implement an immediate zero tolerance policy with significantly unpleasant consequences for SS-14 acting like an F-in toddler. If she doesn't then she owns this one lock, stock and barrel.

The why of this behavior really doesn't matter. What matters are the behavioral cards he is chosing to play.

Good luck.

Java_Junkie's picture

DW likes it, thinks it's cute.

 

I think she has no desire to change it, and she wants me to stop mentioning it.

Rags's picture

Never stop mentioning the facts.  It is the facts that will change the behaviors.  That and application of unpleasant consequences. I would esclate the mentionng of the facts of the toddler like behavior.  Particularly in public.  There is nothing quite like public humiliation to change kid behavior.

Good luck.

Java_Junkie's picture

LOL, well, I agree - though I don't think I want to dive into the Public Humiliation process till after we've exhausted all other means. I have said to the two of them, "Awwww, you two make SUCH A CUUUUTE COUPLE!!!!" and some other stuff that made them both aware of how creepy it looked. I can be a smart-alecky guy, but oddly, it seemed better to be a smarty than to sound like a clinical psychologist in that instance. Sort of like when someone says "I gotta take a dump," it sounds less disgusting than saying, "I need to defecate."

Hidingaway2017's picture

I feel this pain. But, it's with DH and SD13, SS12, and SD8. I can't get a word in edgewise between the disgusting nicknames and them following him EVERYWHERE. So annoying.