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Please, can this all just go away? ;(

ThatEvilSM's picture

Ok, I need to vent, and I need to scream, and God knows I need a drink...

DH and I got into this HUGE fight last night, and I said it, "I am done, I want a divorce" and it took his breath away... but do I really? NO! I want his kid to go away, I am sick and tired of this self centered, mean, attention whore! Sad I am tired of feeling torn, like an I evil, I have being insulted, ignored, and my children have being mistreated by this "child" since day one...she is 9 for crying out loud!!!! No limits, jealousy, lies, complains, I HATE IT! I HATE HER! I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE! How could this turn me into a sad, angry person! I am a professional, hard working woman, who adores her children...and I hate a 9 year old! WTF!!!

I have being working very hard to disengage, she is a liar, so no matter how nice or hard I worked, she always went home and told BM horrible things about us, so I said F this, you want to tell her mom I don't talk to you and I am mean? lets do it then! I don't care! BUT THE NAGGIN and the complaining, and the constant attention seeking behavior, and the noise, and the baby talk! ...

Last nite my DD6 had Ballet, and it was "open curtain" nigth, usually this day is a big deal because we get to see the progress but we don't get to see the recital dances, well, it happens to be the night SD is home for a few hours, so we all had to go, ok then... we get there, and SD9 starts to try to sit on DH's lap... mind you she is 110 pounds and 9 years old! not a baby, DH handles it and says "No BD, you are too big" "No I am not" (baby voice)... all this while other parents are trying to listen and watch the class... oooook...class is over, DD6 comes out with a candy cane they got from the teaches, and SD9 starts with a tamtrum because she didn't get one (AGAIN, my 5 year old son is right there, and he is totally cool about it) then SD9 goes on about how WE DIDN'T WENT TO HER RECITAL (wait what? we had to sit trough 4 hours of competition to see her dance ONCE, and her and her mom lied to us about the recital date so we missed it,, she knows this, she accepted lying to us) DH just whispers at her to stop it... all this is going on as I am trying to put coats on the little ones, and she hangs from DH leg winning, then she shoves my 5 year old out of the way so she can go first trough the door.... my blood was slowly boiling, I was tired, I had worked all day, and had to bake for an office potluck...

We get home, she shoves me and the kids out of her way, again, while DH is trying to open the door, she shoves him to the side, and she slams the door open, our little puppy was out (I got my DD and DS a Maltesse and he is tiny) she pushes the tiny dog out of her way, yells at him NO, and tosses a glove to his face.... I LOST MY SHIT. I said "SD9 go to your room in time out" "whyyyy i didnt do anything (crying ) " "DH talks to her in passive voice and says "just go" MIND YOU, if my children did this he would bark and yell at them!!! I hided in my room until they left... and cried, cried and cried... when he got home from dropping her off I was a mess, THANK JESUS my children went to bed without a fuss and were sleeping, because I just couldn't take it anymore... 2 years feel like 1000 and I am done! He blamed all on me because "I cant look pass who her mom is" "I ignore her" NO FUCKER! I have tried everything, while you have a "play mate" he doesn't raise this kid! he plays with her and watches Cartoons!!!

we woke up this morning and the house was very quiet, he was kind to the kids, but I have no idea were we are at... I hate her, and her mom, and the chaos they create in my life... I hate who I am now, and I dont know how to fix this!!!!!!

ThatEvilSM's picture

I am not sure if this all can be fix tho... it seems like Disney dad's are nothing but that....

Evil stepmonster's picture

Even when they seem to be making good changes...they relapse. Always relapse Sad

ThatEvilSM's picture


Evil stepmonster's picture

Try this, when it's her weekend to be at your house take your kids and go to a hotel, or family members, or a friends house. Until he can get her under control tell him you refuse to be abused by a 9 year old brat. That way you have a nice peaceful time with your kids (please take the dog with you) and he can do what ever his widdew biddy pwincess wants. don't have see her but maybe those few hours during the week. Biggrin

ThatEvilSM's picture

I tried this..and he makes me feel guilty because "he doesnt get to spend time with me and my kids" and "he wants to have a family" and "its not always that bad" ... my plan is, my ex husband is moving to our city to be closer to the kids, so we are going to re arrange visitation, I want to try and have him take my kids when honey booboo is here...and then I am out!

Evil stepmonster's picture

That's what I ended up doing. At first we had visits scheduled so we could all be one big happy family...and then we all met dPPP and Redface Magee. So I put the schedule back and now I check out completely. A day at the spa can do wonders when you know a horrible child is in your house.

bibleofdreams's picture

sounds like time for family therapy. or couples therapy. something. this clearly can't go on this way, and I would be angry if a 9 year old treated any animal that way. its unacceptable and a therapist could probably get through to disney dad about why that is an enormous problem that needs to be addressed immediately.

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

I am just sad for you and all the bullshit you have to put up with.

I am sad for all of us and all the bullshit, marriage counselling, therapy, medication.....who would think kids could drive adults to this....

It's just so bloody sad

Rags's picture

My method of dealing with this is zero tolerance. When my Skid pulled stupid, rude, unacceptable shit I jerked a knot in his tail each and every time.

My bride had a choice. Step up and parent and get the discipline done before I had to or she could STFU until I was finished and then we could discuss it offline.

Give your ball-less wonder of a DH that message. He has a choice. Step up and parent and discipline or STFU and get out of your way while you do it ..... or GTFO with his spawn.

If you and your DH are equity life partners that makes you (both) an equity parent to any children in your home regardless of the biology involved. You parent your children. DH is a miserable failure of a father to his. If he won't put his foot up the ass of his toxic 9yo spawn then polish the toe of your shoe up on her tonsils after you put your foot up her ass.

Good luck.