Need Help

StrugglingSDad's picture

This is more a relationship question but we are a blended family.

My dad is on in years and nearing the end, he is pretty close. My parents and DW do not get along at all.

My mom contacted me to say that Dad is taking a turn for the worse, so I went around to visit during the day.

Since I have Aspergers I know that one of my depression tablets will help smooth me out so I can handle the day.

I see dad and he is not well and this is not easy to handle but I do. DW is a teacher and just yesterday had a really bad day at work which had her in tears. So I figure I will wait until she gets home before going over my shitty day as I do not want to potentially make her day worse at school.

On her way home, we are chatting and I tell her about dad, to which she responds "it's strange you are telling me this way", I am caught off guard because I was hoping for compassion.

So the night goes on with no discussion I about my dad, I attempt to initiate conversation but I only get one and two-word answers and then at bedtime no cuddles. She just rolls over and goes to sleep.

I am at a loss here. I thought by waiting until a more appropriate time it would not only prevent her from having a shitty day but also allow us some talk time about it. Instead what I got was a feeling like I had done something wrong and now I am to blame.

So for those who can clearly see the above situation I need your help to help me see where I am going wrong here.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

I can't see where you did anything wrong. The fact that she doesn't get along with your parents should not prevent her from offering you support and sympathy. Is she supportive about other things? Or does she always react this way?

In my mind, a parent in the process of dying deserves way more support from a spouse than having a bad day at work.