I am StepDad to a largish family and the eldest SD (20 years old) stays at home. DW has 4 and I have 1
SD has completed a qualification and works full time however pays no rent and is forever "forgetting" to do her chores. I have tried raising this with DW but her motto appears to avoid the conflict.
I already removed SS to his father out for how he treated his mother and still has not apologized and chosen to stay with his dad. I seem to be living in a family where people can do or say whatever they want and it is swept under the rug until we all forget it happened unless of course, it is my son that does something wrong.
I tried raising the rent issue with DW but then her reply is well then SD will simply go live with her father, which I do not see as an issue. But the thing that really irks me is the double standard applied and chores.
If she "forgets" her chores SD says oh well I will do them on the weekend - my problem is I don't need them done on the weekend, I need them done when they are assigned.
And the double standard, none of our kids are allowed to eat in their rooms but SD is, then she simply keeps the dirty bowls in her room until someone has unpacked the dishwasher at which time she can then bring them down and put them in, this could be days.
I think I find it frustrating because if my son does not do his chores perfectly then this is raised with me, yet when I raise this same about SD I simply get "what am I supposed to do" and unfortunately SD attitude just drives me absolutely crazy.
SD does not greet me or even talk to me unless she needs or wants something, again the Double Standard comes in because if my son does it to DW then it is flagged immediately.
I am not sure I could move past this, I have tried but it always seems like I am in the wrong.
I think I am at the end of my limit here. I do not feel like a team I feel like I must continuously bend to keep the peace and I do not think it is fair.