I am new to this site, and am so happy that I can finally get everything all out, since the SK issue is something that's on my mind every single day, and there is no one I can really talk to about it.

I am married to a wonderful man. We have a great relationship and I would deffinately say that he's my best friend. Things get very strained though when it comes to his daughter who is 6, going to be 7 in a few months. I have had one heck of a time with this situation, going back and fourth between dealing okay with it to being at the end of my rope. He has a completely b#tchy, nasty, vindictive ex gf (the BM). SD6 is also very whiney, clingy, bratty and rude. I have dealt with BM in the past texting him unecessarily (one such time a few years ago texting him at 9 in the morning while she was on vaca in VA with her new bf telling him that she "just wanted to be a family" and blah blah blah. Okay, so where the heck did that come from? I asked him what conversation she was referring to in the text, and he said they were just talking about the kid. He also would get texts from her asking him to come over and fix things with the house. Are you kidding me? When she found out we were engaged, the court papers started flying in to try to make us miserable. She has accused me before of erasing texts out of her phone from her (not true) and more rediculous crap. On our honeymoon, she called to ask what health problems ppl on his side of his family had. Couldn't ask him before we left? Really?

Okay, so there was one incident in particular when we first got together that I have not been able to get out of my mind and I get angry about out of nowhere. Our first Christmas as a couple, a few months into our relationship, but both agreed an exclusive relationship, I was visiting my family for the holidays. He informed me that he was going to be staying the night at his mother's house x-mas eve and would be celebrating Christmas out there (about an hour away). I spoke with him Christmas Eve and Christmas day as well as via text. So, throughout our relationship I continued to think that's what actually happened.

Well, about 2 1/2 years into our relationship, we were living together and engaged. We were cleaning out the closet in our bedroom. He had a locked briefcase with random old papers for work in it, as well as a video tape....I thought hmmmm strange to have a tape locked in there? So I asked him what was on it, he said it was his daughter's first Christmas. I thought it was still strange to have it locked up, so when he went to his father's later that day with his daughter, I decided to take a look at the tape. And what do you know? Was not his daughter's first Christmas, she was obviously some years older, and this was that Christmas we were together where he told me he had spent those two days with his mother. WELL, thanks to the videotape, it shows that was NOT the case, he actually spent it at BM's house with the kid and BM. Then, on Christmas day the videotape shows that he was with them again at BM's mother's house. Okay, my blood was boiling at that point, he had lied BIG, but to make matters worse, he starts videotaping the BM (they were NOT together at this point, we were, or so i thought) and calling her "honey, sweety, etc" and actually even bought her presents. WTF?

So when I saw the whole video, I was so pissed I was shaking. If there's not one thing in this world I hate more, it's a liar. I immediately called him, told him he needed to head straight home. So he did, and when he got back and I questioned him about it, he played dumb. I was so offended that he thought I was that gulible, that I told him I was leaving ( I was not yelling because the SD was right there). So, of course, the SD starts throwing a tantrum, and he scooped her up like I was some sort of monster and told ME to get out. I was like are you freaking serious right now? You messed up and YOU are asking ME to leave?

Okay, so I know this is getting really long, I'm sorry. But I ended up leaving and spending the night at my mother's. We met up the next day after the SD left. Finally, I got him to sit down and watch the video and got him to admit where he was. Although, he swore up and down that he never kissed the BM, or did anything with her and claims he never spent the night with her. He went on and on about how he did it "all for the kid" and they just wanted the kid to see her parents getting along, blah blah blah. Although I never really bought the story, I tried to trust him and give him the benefit of the doubt and move on with him. We are now married for about 1 1/2 years, but this incident still plagues me. I obsess about it all the time, and wonder what really happened those two days, since he still sticks to the original story. I still get bitter and upset about the whole situation from start to finish and wonder if he will try to pull crap like this in the future with " for the sake of the child" bullsh*t. It's driving me crazy stressing about it all the time, and I do not trust the BM as far as I can throw her. I'm not sure what to do?