How can I feel better
I have posted previously about my dislike for my SS17 who lives with us full time along with my child who is 3.5months .
I no longer acknowledge his existence unless necessary. I do not speak to him. He does not speak to me unless necessary. This is due to him disrespecting me & his father and me seeing his true colours. He apologised to his dad but not to me.
He doesn't respect what his father asks of him and brushes it off, treating his dad like a pushover. I frequently tell my partner that I do not like that attitude towards you & that our child will not behave like that.
It makes me feel sick, almost to the point of an anxiety attack when he is around my child. Not holding bub, just in the same room. I can do something as innocent as securing bub in his swing, but because in doing so I blocked his view of baby he cracks the shits & storms off! I told my partner I don't care about his sensitivities and bullshit, my child & his safety are my priority. I don't have time to consider how to approach my own son better so that SS17 is ok with it! He has my child as his screensaver on his devices & I find that weird ??
he is an inconsiderate f&@k to us in our home but get him around anyone else, grandparents, family etc & he is nice as pie. This Jekyll & Hyde act is why others don't understand my feelings towards him.
I don't feel I should let him have a hold/relationship/bond/play with my child when he can't even be a considerate person to not only me but his own father. Am I wrong for thinking that?
how can I deal with this animosity and assert my role as my child's mother who demands respect?
Well, his dad IS a pushover,
Well, his dad IS a pushover, right? Or his son wouldn't be behaving that way. Ideally, it would come from his father that he needs to demonstrate respect to both of you in order to be trusted around your baby. I wouldn't trust him to be appropriate when he's so angry and rude to you and his father. It's nice that he cares for his brother, but he's not acting like someone you feel like handing your baby over to. So it's not about you controlling who your baby has a relationship with, but you protecting him from SS's angry reactions to everything.
His dad lets him have enough
His dad lets him have enough rope to hang himself & then reads him the riot act if he goes too far. This kid already knows everything didn't you know??? What would dad know?? Haha
ive told my partner that he doesn't know when to stop. I reckon he would legit sit beside me while feeding and stare at bub if he could. He doesn't know boundaries, thinks he should be involved in everything and I do not want him to be. He cries to his Aunty that he's not allowed to hang out with bub. He is never home at the appropriate time - I refuse to overstimulate my child late at night just because you are available then because guess who has the job of settling him again.
the age gap is large enough that I am hoping they will just be acquaintances. I don't think I would be doing any damage by denying their relationship so young. I would like my child to have a voice, not be forced into something I don't even want to do.
Is he going to move out st 18
Is he going to move out st 18? And no, you don't owe your weirdo Ss anything when it comes to baby. Keep baby away and protected. Your SS sounds unstable and I wouldn't want that around my baby either. You need to lay the law down with your DH.
I really hope so, that's the
I really hope so, that's the plan anyway. He doesn't like our rules or what is expected of him. Thinks he knows better.
I have to buy separate food except for dinner ingredients because otherwise he will just eat it all & there will be none left for anyone else. He doesn't know how to pace yourself or think of others, either all in or all out - the in between is too hard for his underdeveloped brain. So to ensure I have ice cream when I want it, I buy 2.
he is not with us for Xmas break thank god
I think I just figured out my
I think I just figured out my problem - I feel like I need to justify to SKs what I am doing or why I am doing things etc with my child but I don't have this with anyone else. It's almost like I need to justify so they understand why they are not a part of something or why I don't need their help or why they can go find something else to do.
I don't know why I feel this way, I certainly do not survive off their approval. I also do not care what BM thinks.
maybe it is because they are half siblings but I still shouldn't feel like I am being watched and walking on eggshells when I am a smart, confident woman.
maybe I avoid it so I don't have to feel the need to explain my every move to someone who's opinion means very little to me.
No explanation or answers to
No explanation or answers to ss needed! Just tell him to go away!!
You don’t have to justify anything to SS
Yout the adult. You cook and serve SS his portion of food. And that it. He can go to the stote and buy with his own money anything he wants . If SS doesn't like it he can go back to BN
So I got referred to as “she”....
As in "she better not say no" about something that would affect the household and I therefore am entitled to have a say.
This has filled me with a feeling of disgust, rage, hate that I have never felt before. Even from ex boyfriends. I have done so effing much for this child that his mother would never have done out of the goodness of my heart or to help his dad out, thoughtful things .
His attitude is disgusting at the moment and inexcusable, playing the poor me card. I do not want my own child to associate with a person who has such disrespect for me when I have done an awful lot for them whilst asking for nothing in return.
it has gone too far now and I don't know if it will ever be normal again